JJ and Jom in Manila

I'm so happy that my nephews are here on vacation. They're going to learn basketball and have field trips organized by me. I already have my itinerary planned and ready for implementation. Museums, heritage sites etc. Wohoo..I'm so maternal these days that it's actually fun. Contrary to my warped expectations. And they love Riley so much. And Rye loves them back. He spits at them (which he does when he's happy) and dives to them head first when they're sleeping..Yup, that's pure cousin(ly)affection.

Straight from the airport, they already went to Romina's party..Cool~!

Sweet Books

Last Saturday, we went to a garage sale and Sweet Valley High books were sold for P20 each. It was like a trip back to highschool. Like revisiting old friends. I was soo happy! I got 2 books, the Saga series and Jessica's Secret Diary. Although I love Elizabeth more, there's still something about Jessica that gets you hooked everytime. And the other subplots like the story of Regina Morrow and Bruce Patman..Ohh..cried rivers of tears... I'm gonna be back and check out more next week. There were Sweet Dreams, Archie Comic Books...my favorites growing up. Another member of the gang although it wasn't on sale was Nancy Drew. That's why part of me wanted to be a spy. She made it seem fun and mysterious of course.
-----

Rye is not afraid of Grimace the Purple Mascot at McDonald's. He just gave him a creased browed look and then turned his head away. Even when Grimace touched his face! I tell you my kid is a winner at deadmahan. We attended his cousin's birthday yesterday and boy, he attacked the food and my spaghetti almost fell in his lap coz he wanted to eat na. And he loved McFlurry too. Here's to a lot of birthday parties in the future!

11 months Baby!

Rye is 11 months today. Yipeedidoodah! We hit the beach last week and it was his first time to see the sand and the sea. It was such a classic precious moment, seeing him cringe at the feel of sand on his feet. The full moon was especially bright that black Saturday night. It was beautiful. Thank God for real friends. Thank You for Brother Sun and Sister Moon.

Almost a month to go before the Big Day

It's gonna be Rye's 1st birthday next month and I'm so psyched! Been planning it starting last week. So far I got the event details done today. I just need to confirm and finalize the other thingies to make the event more exciting and fun for the kids. My favorite kiddos will be there yahoo!

I've never had a fastfood birthday party venue at all. Not that I am complaining or anything since my Mom took a lot of effort preparing for my home parties and doing everything herself. With Dad doing the errands as well. I'll always remember her famous fried chicken, pancit bihon, lumpiang shanghai and macaroni salad. I miss her so much.

It's just that I'm excited that Rye can have different themes and venues all through his life, well...up until I can still handle it and if he wants it. I've read One year old parties are really for the parents since the babies won't remember it, thank goodness for video and photo coverage so he can see it when he's old enough to appreciate it. Like when Ayla saw her 1st bday about 2 years ago. She was so amazed. And I want Rye to have that too.

Rye's baptism was kinda in a hurry since we thought G-anne would be going to the province earlier than expected. So I moved it to an earlier date. But everything fell into place. It was a fun time to be with the people I cherished the most.

This time it's going to be really organized and although his birthday falls on a Friday, I'm gonna make it a Saturday just so it's convenient to the oldies (haha!) who have work. I hope the kids will enjoy the party. And Rye too.

Summer is here!

On Ayla's birthday, we had a pool party in Alpha Grand View condo in Malate. Indoor and private (since we're the only ones there plus George the Greek kid) and we had a great time! It was also a cool coincidence that the noontime show S.O.P had live broadcast in Baywalk so there were sailboats in Manila Bay as part of the show.

The large pool was so cold so Rye couldn't stand it and opted for the jacuzzi instead.

Old Grand Architecture

Let me tell you how fascinated I am to be surrounded with grand old buildings. I used to live in Bel-Air Apartments, a pre-war relic and just across is Elk's Building which is now Museo Pambata and behind it is Luneta Hotel. Now I see the Post Office Building everyday, El Hogar, Regina Building, Calvo Bldg, Capitol Cinema House..so much history! I hope Rye can still see them when he grows up. I gotta save pix of them though. You know how crazy city officials are when it comes to restoration. I love how they hold so many memories. If these walls could talk..

This entry was inspired by what I'm currently reading online - Meine Lieben: Swiss Letters from the Philippines 1919 - 1927. It's based on letters by two Swiss expats here during that time. It's a glimpse of Manila in the 1900's. You can check it out at http://www.filipinaslibrary.org.ph/onlinebook/onlinebook.html I love it so much! History is really a favorite subject of mine. There is still a lot to learn. More secrets to uncover. More motives revealed. Stories untold. Never believe history books at face value as told by my college history professor. Thanks Dr. Dery.

On being sluggish

It's summer and I'm feeling the heat and the laziness of these days. Especially when I received texts from friends saying they're in some beach resort or just out of town. If green is the color of jealousy, what is the color of envy? Haha. And it doesn't help that I made a big booboo at work. Serious enough to merit an advisory on the website no less! My bosses are so kind. I don't think I deserve them. Though it's my first mistake here, I still feel weird about it. Incompetence has always been something I'm scared of committing.

I guess it's the routine. I'm so used to a life on the run. Like cutthroat dead or alive happenings in concerts or tv shows. In the corporate world, it's a verbal reprimand or a memo. And they do it ever so politely. I'm not sure how to react. But it's a wake up call for me. There's a phase in my job where I know the in's and out's already and I want a new challenge. I think here they want me to sell. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Sales. I'm gonna be a salesperson. Me, who took a summer job selling magazines but ended up getting the help of my mother (with oozing PR and God bless her wonderful soul) just to meet my quota. But now no one's gonna do the selling for me. I, who won't look people in the eye when I'm out in the streets and who won't greet people just for the heck of it..I need to ask a complete stranger to look at my product and convince him/her somehow to arrange for a meeting and then make follow ups. Arghhhhh...

I need a vacation! On my way to work, I'm near bus stations bound for provincial trips. I just wanted to hop in one of those and go away. Just for the day. With no luggage. No nothing. Just my everyday clothes and bag. And then I realized I have a son who will miss me..(I hope) and then I'm like, "Oh, I'm gonna save so I can bring Rye along"..

9 1/2

Rye at 9 1/2 months is quite a talker. He listens to every conversation and voices out his own baby babble. This week he's repeatedly saying "Ate", calling out to Ninang G, Ayla, KT and Teret...

When I was pregnant, I'd constantly create images in my head what he'll look like. And most of what I wanted --mop of curly hair, huge eyes, fair skin, my lips, soft hands, cute feet, dimples --he's got. I'd like to share his first Christmas, New Year and recent pix..

Bianca

I'm not sure I wanted Bianca Gonzales to be part of Celebrity Big Brother. It still boggles my mind why she joined the freak show in the first place. That is why I watch it. Just to see how she copes with the others. You see I came across Bianca's blog last year and instantly liked her. She was honest. In a refreshing kind of way. As a commercial model and tv host, she has spunk. I first saw her in the now defunct "Review Night" with Ryan Agoncillo.

I felt uncomfortable seeing her cry due to her Dad's grievances against her and telling the whole world how she felt insecure with the ex of her boyfriend. It just didn't feel right. Blogs were public enough but it is only a fraction to the millions who tune in every night to ABS CBN. I just felt she was violated. And for 1 million bucks? Not enough reason.

New family member

A new member of the family is due out this September (parang plug sa movie). My brother's domestic partner is pregnant. Oh, Riley's gonna be a Kuya. Come December, there will be 8 grandchildren who will surround Daddy Dad. Aww..cute.

I'm just glad I'm over the infancy stage. I'm happy with Riley being a baby. A big one who climbs stairs and bounces with Beyonce ;)

Jason and Tristan

on the music front, I love Jason Mraz. He's funny, cool and his lyrics are soo catchy. Try "Geek in the Pink". Anyhoo, I chanced upon his girlfriend Tristan Prettyman's song over Jam 88.3. and it's so cute..

Shy That Way
You know you’re stunning
You’re absolutely stunning
And I’m running always running
And now I’m crying
It’s only cause I’m caring
And if you were more daring
Maybe you’d stop staring
And come over and talk to me
Tell me bout how you’ve been waiting so patiently
And how you tried but I just turned away
And I’ll say yeah well you know,
I’m shy that way

Shy that way
Maybe I’m shy that way

Ohh you know you’re stunning
You’re absolutely stunning
But you’re always runnin
But I’ll catch up to you
The way you keep your distance is
Keeping my interest
So I’ll keep it persistent
Ohh maybe someday
Someway, somehow in some town
We’ll get together and
We’ll break it down
And I’ll ask why you’ve been
so shy, gotta be that way
Maybe baby, oh love, I like it that way

Shy that way
You know I love you so shy,
Shy that way

So keep it comin comin comin comin
Shy that way

There’s always too much talking
And I wanna just keep walking
But I keep staring baby
Keep staring
Though I may not know the right things to say
I’ll get it out to you one day

I’m shy that way
You’re shy that way
Do you like it
Do you like it?
When I’m shy this way?
Yes I like it
Yes I like it
When you’re shy

Shy that way

I like it
I like it shy
You know it’s alright, it’s ok
Cause we’re
Shy that way…

Jakey

Oh. Heart stop. Beating. I'm in love. Don't like Tom Cruise anymore. George Clooney is still gorgeous but...I'm so into Jake Gyllenhaal now. I first laid eyes on him in the film "Moonlighting" starring Susan Sarandon and Dustin Hoffman. He with his puppy look, sad, haunting eyes, shy smile plus an endearing story reeled me in completely. I cannot believe he was the "Bubble Boy", he looked malnourished in that film. Then there was "The Day After Tomorrow" which made him recognizable at last. Based on my research, he auditioned for "Moulin Rouge" and almost got to play "Spiderman 2" but those films weren't meant to be his.

Hooray for "Brokeback Mountain", he's nominated for Oscars' Best Supporting Actor so I need to watch it because it's the first award to be given away that night! I got to watch him on Oprah last night. He was so adorable. Kirsten Dunst is crazy to let him go. capital CRAZY.

Love Day

as usual, it's the season to be in love and to love..In my former job, I used to work during Valentine's kasi peak season for shows and concerts. Now, 2 years na kong walang raket pag V day.

My memorable valentine's day (s) happened not with significant others (weird) but with my bestfriend Thelms. We used to watch horror films during this day because we didn't want to cry our hearts out watching sappy films back in the day when we were pathetic singletons (duh..i still am). We also stalked Claire Danes in her hotel room via phone call when she was here (yup, those days when she said Manila is a filthy place filled with cockroaches) and sent "My So-called Life" lines to my crush via beeper (yuck, how revealing our age ha..)

It's my son's first Valentine's. Geez, gotta photo op..bye.

Red Shadow Events

www.redshadowevents.blogspot.com

I am from

I am from a woman with a generous heart, overflowing with love and compassion. She did everything for her family and became more than just a light – she became a beacon which illuminated our lives. She dances and sings through life’s hardships, forgave people of her bitter past, betrayals which made her a stronger person. She adopted everyone in her care and fought for those she fiercely loved. She made friends with anyone, for her no one is a rotten fruit. She passed away at a ripe age of 61, still lingers within us and through us. She continues to guide all our life’s precarious choices by way of dreams and songs.

I am from a man who has a silent and calm disposition. He has remained meek and humble and honest. He who stayed loyal in his career path, steady and kind. He has provided me with companionship, support and adoration all through my days. He has accepted life with simplicity and strived to fulfill his role as a great father. He without speaking, has taught me so much. He is always there. Resilient. Like an anchor. Like a rock.

I am from a group of 4 siblings, each one different, each one distinct. But always united. Fights life’s storms armed with laughter and prayer. Strength to strength. Walang iwanan.

I am from a house made of pre-war materials and filled with historical value. It was a community of fun and mystery, intrigue and national pride. Long live Bel-Air.

I am from a clan of educators and landlords, a mixture of North Luzon and Vizayas. Bagoong and dried fish. Of sea and mountains and vast lands.

I am from a school composed of beautiful girls pretending to be boys and run by nuns. Of hymns and great teachers which changed my life. Of classmates that became friends for life.

I am from a university of the elite, which ironically made me more “masa”. Of various types of media and cool professors. Of Dopeyz and standing up for who I am. Of knowing my talents and maximizing it. Of photography, video, tv production, journalism and filmmaking. It is watching silent black and white films for hours on end.

I am from a church which is now a shrine. A place where the oldest Marian image in the country resides. Of which I can sing with all my heart and serve God no matter what it takes. Of people whom I will forever cherish and friendships I will never forget.

I am from books and music and films and television. I get lost in them. I am from travels and adventure. I am from dreams and goals.

I am from career path littered with entertainment. Of singing and performing. Of television shows and research. Of scripts and press releases. Of promos and corporate communication. Of websites and internet. Of events and workshops. Of being part of a great company in the making.

I am from relationships obscure and exhilarating. Of facing everything against all odds. Without rhyme or reason. Without rules but all passion. All heart. Which breaks into a myriad of pieces. But lives for another day. And another and another…

I am from a person I named Riley Matthew. A source of joy, fulfillment and hope. A gift that overwhelms me still.

I am from a God I call Dayspring. The One who refreshes my soul. The One I long for. The reason for my being. The grace which saves me everyday. The One who loves me. The One who will take me home.

Chchchanges

1.You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself. (well, we both look in the mirror and make faces!)

2. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms. (my arms are getting toned due to the fact that he wants to be carried all the time now)

3. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid. (yes, I’m afraid to die early because I wouldn’t get to meet his girlfriend and be bitchy at her..hehehe)

4. You're less self-involved and more self-motivated. (I now have a purpose..to feed him at 3 a.m. and let him sleep in my arms)

5. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices. (what sacrifice? C section—chicken lang yan! And the bloated feet – foot spa lang katapat nyan..)

6. You respect your body ... finally. (Hooray for fast metabolism!)

7. You have stronger opinions and are stronger willed. (this is awesome)

8. You respect your parents and love them in a new way. (thanks Dad, lov ya Mom!)

9. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own. (ooh, making him drink meds..the worst)

10. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child. (Hooray for Santa!)

11. You lose touch with the people in your life that you should have banished years ago. (I don’t have time for such nonsense..I’d rather play with my son)

12. Your heart breaks much more easily. (And I cry easily too..just seeing a mother-child photo or film)

13. You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else. (he’s in my ringtone, my message alert tone, my desktop, my fon wallpaper)

14. Every day is a surprise. (Mama..Mmmmm)

15. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

16. You think before you speak. (this is true)

17. You become a morning person. (this is so amazing! I used to hate waking up early, but now he wakes up earlier than I do)

18. If you have a son, you no longer curse men. (Been trying to understand men)

19. If you have a daughter, you hope she won't endure your same heartaches.

20. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power. (Amen to that)

sick

Riley is sick with pneumonia and primary complex. Poor little baby. On the outside, he's fine compared to last week when he had fever and laryngitis. As usual, I'm researching on it. I've read and read its symptoms, treatment and prevention. I've never been seriously sick my whole life. The one time I've been hospitalized was when I gave birth. That's it. Now I feel so incapable of handling a sick child. But he drinks his milk like usual, he plays and sleeps soundly. I've complained to my bestfriend many times how I'm so dumb with the mommy stuff. Being a first time mom herself, she just seem to fit the role so well. Knowing what to do and how to do it. I don't. I'm clueless. But then I know God gave me Riley for a purpose. And He will equip me with the "mommy enzyme".

Things I said I'd never do when I became a parent but I did

The title came from the Blogging Baby site. I got inspired so I have my own version: (Well, to start I really didn't know I'd become a parent so everything is new to me)..
1. humming nursery rhymes at work or when Rye isn't with me. He loves the Barney songs and it's in my head all the time even if I just saw Lea Salonga in concert, though she also sang mommy songs coz she's pregnant!
2. holding a traditional baby bag. I told myself I'll have a cool leather diaper bag whenever I go out but alas, who can resist the cutey blue Peter Rabbit?
3. hospital visits. It's a must since Rye has monthly pedia visits, but it still gives me the creeps. Hospitals are like another dimension, never know when I'm gonna pass out..
4. wanting to go home asap. Now this is really foreign territory. The urgency to go home to my baby once work is done or even when it's meeting with friends..you wish they'd talk faster or cry sooner so you can console and be done and go home to Rye! (my friends don't mind naman..hehe)
5. saving and organizing and cleaning. save the best and hardest for last. Messy me trying to tuck and fold, scrub and wash, living on a budget. Could it be true? I don't recognize me anymore.

taste of Reese

Watching the Golden Globe Awards is like taking at a peek at the Oscars. It's like getting invited to an intimate dinner formal and you get to see celebs! Honestly, I love it more than the Oscars. It's very straightforward with none of the frills and delays. Loved George Clooney's speech "hey, this is early..haven't had a drink yet". Haha.

Who wouldn't even envy Reese that night? She's smart, has 2 beautiful children, Best Actress winner, has million dollar paychecks, she even sings (too much..too much) and has Ryan Philippe to go home to. &@#%$^* di ba...
I got to see her Oprah guesting where she spoke of her English teacher who made her appreciate reading. She seems like the real deal. Very consistent. She's not mega-beautiful but she is very attractive. The southern belle works out its charm.

starbucks conversations

I had a pre-celebration date with Thelmsky Diwata, Jenny Diyosa and Ellaine the Saint. It's been a long, long time since we've spent an evening like that. We had dinner, movie (Palanca winner "Blue Moon" since it's the Filmfest season) and stayed at Starbucks 6750. My top Starbucks outlets are:
1. 6750
2. Bayview Hotel
3. Greenbelt 1
4. Robinson's Place
5. Adriatico Malate
6. Glorietta 4

I always have the longest, most stimulating, interesting and controversial talks in this coffee chain. I'm not a real coffee person, I only order frappucino and last night I had Peppermint Mocha Frappe. After a year of not having any.. Ahh...the best. We stayed till the branch closed, that late tlga. Pix to follow. The smell, the ambiance, the soothing music, the comfy couch --worth the price. I'm open to try other coffee shops but nothing beats Starbucks.

a blessed 2006

Happy New Year! I love the first week of January. There's the crisp, clean smell of my new 2006 planner waiting to be filled out with my scribbles. There's the first Mass of the year. And then there's my birthday. But before I get all senti, I just want to say that I'm so at peace (or maybe just tired from spending the day at Enchanted..hehe) I slept through New Year's Eve. First time to zonk out amidst the noise and revelry.

Also, I realized I'm not an angry person. You know the type who will get a heart attack from storing so much resentment and bitterness. I maybe mad for a day or two and would really do everything I can to vent my anger but then I'll forget about it and move on. And I'm so pleased that I'm no longer a slave to my possessions. I used to hold on to all my stuff - papers, cards, letters, clothes, accessories. It was all clutter. Now I just have the things I need and will think thrice before buying something for myself. But the biggest surprise of all-- I'm more organized now.Clap clap! Thanks to Riley who is fast accumulating tons of stuff too. So more space for him.

Resolutions..I want to speak out more. I have a lot of ideas in my head but couldn't really voiced it out because I don't know...Sometimes people who talk too much just overwhelm me. And when I get my turn, I just don't have the energy anymore. I wanted to take up public speaking. Or do more hosting.

I need to be assertive. People seem to have an impression that I'm "nice". Meaning meek and kind. Nothing wrong with that really but I have to be firm to be a leader. Naks.

I need to trust my instincts. Being a Mom just freaks me out especially when Rye gets sick. I need to decide fast because I'm responsible for him. Gosh me, responsible.

"fast becoming a USB world"

Today I came to work and got a surprise gift from a techy company - a USB card reader. Yey! Although I don't know how to use it and vaguely had an idea what it does, it still thrills me no end. And then I surfed about it, and I got swallowed by PC terms. Well, being in a techy industry sure has its perks but I still have a lot to learn. So far, I'm maintaining 4 personal blogs and 1 corporate blog (although I rarely post on Friendster), I have Multiply where I post my pix, YM and MSN messenger, 4 emails and a Chikka account. Whew. Don't be misled, I am a hermit at heart.

post Christmas greeting

It's the Eve of Christmas and even on the day itself and I didn't have load! Darn autoload service got corrupted..So everyone was greeting me through text and I had no answer. Zilch. It was so frustrating. So I just binged on food. Really felt like we were Greek coz what we had for Noche Buena was all meat.

It's Rye's first Xmas ever and his eyes grew even bigger (if that's even possible) as midnight came and watched as his cousins opened presents. He chewed on his gifts and was delighted with all the lights and sounds. Will post pics soon.

Happy holidays! To a better year and a better life. Ahead.

Rye at 7 months

I was browsing through other people's blogs today, it just occurred to me that they make lists all the time. Well, one item I can cross out my list is having a kid. Yihaa. My son turns 7 months today!
1. my pogi-to
2. my morning perky little person
3. my curly-haired cherub
4. smelly feet baby
5. my naughty spitter (is there such a word? yeah, he spits on me when i change his diaper)
6. the one who calls me Momma, Mommy, Ma, Mmmm just recently
7. the cutest live pillow I ever had

I'm excited about 2006. .

engagement notices

Just this week, I learned 2 friends of mine got engaged. Leah, who's a barkada in highschool and Armi, my friend from Elim which I haven't seen in 10 years but was able to find thanks to Friendster. This late 20s stage marks a series of life-altering events - being engaged, getting married, giving birth, getting promoted etc. etc.

It's fun to know how brilliant God is in coming up with a myriad of blessings for each of us. It might surprise or overwhelm at first but then everything falls into place eventually. Some people go the straight path with nary a crease or dent (but with their share of challenges too) or scar, some people like me may experience crisscross, zigzag turning points - bottomline we are still loved, we should be grateful and we should celebrate..

This coming Christmas, sit still and breathe. Even for just a few minutes. Savor the here and now. Ain't life grand?

birthday trivia

It's a month (yesterday to be exact) to go before my birthday. Mag-plug ba? Hehe. Anyway, I was born with two special features: first, I am a menopause baby. Mama was 40 years old when she learned she was pregnant with me. Imagine her surprise and dismay because (second fact) she was taking Ativan at the time. Now, Ativan is a prescription drug which according to my research is and I quote:

"Ativan is in the FDA pregnancy category D. This means that Ativan is known to be harmful to an unborn baby. Do not take this medication without first talking to your doctor if you are pregnant or could become pregnant during treatment.

• Ativan passes into breast milk. Do not take Ativan without first talking to your doctor if you are breast-feeding a baby."

Wow. I'm a double freak! Ultrasound wasn't popular in 1978 and my parents thought I had physical deformities. My father didn't even want to go to the nursery for fear of seeing me with no hands or something. That's why Mama wasn't allowed to breastfeed me. Thank goodness, I'm physically sound although I may be weirder than usual. Wink. Wink.

serendipity or something like it

Brief background, I love the singing group The Company since they released their very first single, "Everlasting Love". I've seen how they changed their members and those insane outfits. My cassette tape copy of Recycle Deluxe got eaten by my player or maybe just succumbed to it due to numerous playbacks. They seem so down to earth, intelligent and great artists even if they're from Ateneo (no pun intended). Their songs were part of my Center for Pop days, me singing "Muntik na Kitang Minahal" and "Now that I have You" before the film made it baduy.

Anyhow, I never seen them perform live at all. Never did our paths cross in the 3 years I spent in the concert scene. And whenever they have a concert, I wanted to go but couldn't for some reason. Well, they celebrated 20 years with a huge concert 2 months ago at the CCP. At the last minute, I wanted to watch. Thelms offered to come with me. But alas, it was sold out a day before. Poor me.

Fast forward. Thelms got the great job of being editor in chief (congrats sis, you deserve it!) and of course, the power of free tickets and invites. For her first gig, she got (surprise, surprise serendipity moment) the Company!
Yey, we're gonna watch. I'm gonna buy their CD anthology album and I'm gonna have their autographs. Yes, I didn't even do the autograph ritual with artists I've worked with such as Regine, Martin etc. But with them, I'll gladly do it.

Yes, Christmas is near!

eleanor

Eleanor is the right spelling of a common name which means "light". I, however was named Elynor due to my parents' name mix, me and my siblings all have different variations. Anyhow, eversince the Beatles' "Eleanor Rigby", there's no name song for me until TODAY! Heard it over the radio, it's not cheesy at all. It's alternative and cool, got the lyrics immediately and here it is:

Eleanor
sung by Low Millions

Fine, I understand, okay with me, if that's the plan.
You can take the stereo, the TV and the video
the bed the sheets and pillows, before you go.
But for now, unlock the door, what are we doin' all this for?

Let me make you dinner one last time,
then you'll go your way, and I'll go mine.
And I won't call you baby, anymore,won't call you baby,
like I did before,won't call you baby, anymore, Eleanor.

You left your smell, you left your taste,you left me here with my mistakes.
And I can't relate to what you say I've done,but just for you, I'll bite my tongue.
And I won't call you baby, anymore,won't call you baby
like I did before,won't call you baby, anymore, Eleanor.
Eleanor I miss you, Eleanor be well
Eleanor I wish you'd release me from your spell.

well, if you know me...you'd know this is soo apt. Zip lips now.

Rye as Justin Timberlake

Ok, when Rye wears this fisherman hat, he always reminds me of Justin Curly Haired Timberlake. So, here are the recent pix of Romina and Rye at 6 months. Romina is my bestfriend's daughter and as early as now, they are officially bestfriends too (whether they like it or not in the future doesn't really matter).

weeeeeh!

I'm at the end of the rainbow, there are no leprechauns...only pots and pots of gold a.k.a. blessings.

Watch me soar!

Feels Like Christmas

Today I woke up knowing Christmas is just around the corner...the cool air, the fruits in season, the decors and carols, and the all-around cheer you feel as it nears..great anticipation.

More good news, it's my last Saturday at work today. It means more bonding time with my little one. I can have my weekend again! Well, hello getaways and out of town trips and malling. Gosh, it's good to get my Saturday back. It has always been my favorite day as well as lazy Sunday afternoons.

The past months were a blur, probably because I was busy with work, with rakets, with O' Riley, with getting enough sleep. Life's finer points is catching up with me. God absolutely rocks!

photo galore

Exactly today last year, I first found out about Rye. He's gonna be 6 months this Saturday. He can sit alone now and soo likot and soo taba. I'm thankful. I'm happy, beaming and proud.

So, because I'm in a good mood, let me share with you my site of pix, http://duchessnette.multiply.com

My life is such an open book right now, I'm actually amazed. And I don't think I'm gonna be stalker material because I used to do the stalking. Oh and please, been there.. done that. I'm a Mom now. I'm just beginning to grow up. hehe

I'm a fan of LEA SALONGA

Yes, there are only two Filipinos that I admire to the core of my being, Lea Salonga and Mikee Cojuangco. But I would like to write about Lea today. At 13 years old, I remember watching my recorded Betamax (geez, yes I'm old) copy of "A Miss Called Lea" over and over again, till I knew all the lyrics of her repertoire. My love for musical theater had just erupted and she was and is my only idol.

After that, I just got hooked watching her on tv and reading about her world domination. Then in 2001, I met her! As production assistant /floor manager for a fundraising show at the Meralco Theater, I was for the first time in my life, immobile at the sight of another human being. We had our picture taken (too bad the copy is still with my cousin Win) and I'm on top of the world.

After that, I saw her perform live at "They're Playing Our Song" and "Miss Saigon" Manila run. And scraped my hard-earned peso to see her CCP shows.

Now, she's pregnant and glowing and took Carnegie Hall by storm. Check out the review in this link:http://www.playbill.com/news/article/96193.html

Oh, I just love her.

The Godfathers and the Godmothers

From left: Mama Sansu the OC, G-Anne Buding, Claudy the Prof, Thelma Huge and Kay a.ka. Daphne Osena




From left: Wilben the Voice, Win Ziggy, David the Late, Rap Hurray and Ramil the Funk.

The Christening

Domini Santi Et Fili Espiriti Santi...Amen

Dopeyz Dinner Reunion

Once upon a time in college, 6 individuals found themselves together by some force they couldn't quite explain (try love for the arts or weirdo behavior). They are the following people:

Anne - poised, gothic chic, poet, graphic artist, copywriter, classy

Arjhay - craft guru, cooking angel, pre-school teacher, philosophical, our on cam girl

Lynette - PR girl kuno, mtv singer, showbiz sponge, the only mommy so far in the group, youngest UN-minor

Claudy - terror sweet professor, finesse, kind and uber-reliable, romantic princess

Heintje - master photographer/editor, gay magnet, gentle giant, tae kwon do jin

Wilben - writer/critic, the Voice, family businessman, ever ready daig pa ang boy scout

Last night, off we went to Aveneto for some pizza, pasta and lots of laughter. Yes, we were the loudest group cramped in such a small space and just having a great time. It's amazing to think that after more than a decade, we're still the same rowdy bunch. Slow pa rin yung isa ("di ko magetz!"), may tripod for the picture taking (happy birthday NOT), may mga new jokes, ex jokes (nasan na si *tootoot*) at sangkatutak na hirit.

If only we can get together more often. I miss these people so much. Best of all, they met Rye. He got overwhelmed. Siguro if he could talk na, he'll ask why Mommy's friends are soo LOUD and noisy. Hehe.

100 Best Novels

Time Magazine featured the top 100 Best Novels in this link http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html

Shame on me for not reading "Catcher in the Rye" yet. And most of it for that matter. But I'm glad "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" is part of it. Got a copy at Market! Market! for only P9.00! Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you and it's not a typo error. It was in a stock pile and I saw the cover. I thought this would be a good book for Riley, I'm gonna do the storytelling ritual with him kasi. So, there. Gotta expose him to books.

John Paul 2 We love you!

The recent World Youth Day celebrations in Cologne, Germany was extra special because Yen went there. One of my girlfriends went to Europe already! Wahh..so inggit. Hehe. Anyway, she shared with me her pix of Rome, Verona, Cologne and another German town. It was great.

There's this website dedicated to making a picture mosaic for John Paul II. It's composed of millions of pictures around the world. I'm so happy that Riley is part of it. He's on the right arm of the Pope. Cool di ba?!

Check it out http://www.thank-you-jpii.net/mosaic/mosaik.asp?tile=04349c8e06c91f&static=1

I sent my pix too but I haven't received a confirmation yet. Hmm..I love JPII so much. World Youth Day in Manila was one of the best experiences I've had as a Catholic.

caffeine fix

ok, word of the wise. never ever attempt to drink 2 straight cupfuls of strong brewed coffee after not having any for a year. after i found out i was pregnant, i couldn't take anymore frappe or any coffee concoction, it being bad for the baby. anyway, it shocked my system that even at 3 am when i was finally ready to retire after a serious writing session, my eyes were so alert and my heart was beating faster than usual. i thought i was gonna have an episode! but anyway, i missed the taste, bitter and sweet on the tongue and the smell just before you take a sip. hmm.. Until today, I'm still in hyper mode.

Yesterday, Riley discovered his toes. Aww..cute. I love how he holds his foot but he has not yet learned how to put it in his mouth. Love to take that picture. He eats cereals like it's going to be out of stock tomorrow. This kid do not have any feeding issues whatsoever. I also love how he blurts out weird vowel-consonant combinations.

of songs and myoozik

I love Jason Mraz's "Wordplay" song ang Aqualung's "Brighter than Sunshine". Once i've heard a particular song on the radio and the music or lyrics seem to get stuck in my brain, then that's a must have for me. I also have a knack of knowing if a song in an album would be a hit or not. So, yes I'm a frustrated critic. That goes for films and tv shows too. That's why I always read Nestor Torre's column on PDI.

Another favorite is Usher. This guy is an utter genius. Raised by a single mother pa. Very humble and his website is cool. I also like Craig David and Alicia Keys. And Destiny's "Cater to You" is so nice. I like complicated lyrics. I like the thrill of listening to the ups and downs of a melody.

I want to be a back-up singer. They are way cooler than the main acts. And they remain anonymous. But they get respect and lots of shows. They are so in demand that during live concerts' peak season, pinag-aagawan sila talaga.

being a better parent

i was browsing through parenting sites and saw this page: http://www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3096.jsp

I agree with all of it. Especially the hanging out together part. I remember my childhood filled with just being with Dad or Mama, listening to my siblings' stories and eating a lot. It was truly a nurturing time, we had so much fun.
I still have to decide if I'm gonna be a strict Mom or just laid back. Or both. What I do know is I'm enjoying being a Mom now. Contrary to my expectations. Hehe. I used to worry a lot if I'm gonna be miserable once I have all the responsibility. But here I am with a more positive perspective, just thanking God for blessing me with a child like him. He makes me want to do cartwheels and trapeze acts..yep, that's how great I'm feeling!

I love how he laughs at everything I say or do. And likewise. We are so in synch. And I love the way he snuggles on my shoulder. Perfect fit. And when I feed him cereals, even his nose, cheeks and neck have their share of food. And when I give him vitamins, he spits it or gargles it.

Don't you just hate it how mothers never seem to get tired of talking about their children? And how they get OA with every little achievement? And how they think their child is the best gift from God? Yes, I know and I'm sorry. I have become that Mom.

same, same

it's a slow saturday so indulge me with a trivial entry. Two of my favorite female actors, Diane Lane and Kate Hudson share a connection with me somehow (ipilit ba?). Diane's daughter is named Eleanor (mine has a different spelling though) and Kate's son's birthday is on January 7 too. It's really mababaw but I love having something in common with these women. They're just so classy and oozing with sex appeal. Meoow Rrrrr..

tv rants and raves

although i don't spend as much time watching television nowadays, i still stumbled upon the initial episode of the Amazing Race Family Edition. They're now more focused on the American destinations and historical places. And what chaos it produced when 40 people compete for airtime and camera views plus of course the coveted cool million prize. But it's also more exciting, with kids, parents, siblings bickering and laughing together.

The Xtra Challenge show with Maui Taylor saying P5k is nothing to her is such a controversial primetime quote. For her who gets money by showing her ass, boob job and everything else, it's such a pitiful thing to say. For us poor mortals who earn every cent with our clothes on, P5k is A LOT. So. I admire Joyce for her composure. If I were in her shoes, I could've punch Maui's already tomato nose into pulp bits. Oops sorry.

I'm semi-hooked to Pinoy Big Brother. I know their names, eager to see who's going to be eliminated next and singing the song in my subconcious. But since they moved it to a later timeslot, I couldn't watch it anymore since I'm sleepy already. Time to hit the sack with my precocious little tyke.

Oh and I'm obssessing about watching the Company's 20th anniversary concert at the CCP but too bad it's sold out na. SAyang. And i want to see "Dubai", I never pass up an Aga Muhlach film. He's just too yummy.

This made me teary-eyed

Read a really heart-tugging article from ivillage.com. Here it is..sob sob sob..

A Homage to Mothers

"This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up spit-up laced with hot dogs, birthday cake, and fruit juice saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here."
Who have walked around the house all night with their babies when they kept crying and wouldn't stop.
This is for all the mothers who have shown up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who have run carpools and made dozens of cookies for school teas and sewn Halloween costumes.
And all the mothers who haven't because they are at work trying to earn enough to keep on top of the bills.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see.
And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes and all their love.
This is for all the mothers who have sat on cold metal bleachers at hockey, baseball or soccer games instead of watching from their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and meant it
This is for all the mothers who have yelled at their kids in the grocery store and swatted them in despair when they stomped their feet, like a tired two-year-old does who wants ice cream before dinner, and then hated themselves for "losing" it.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children to explain all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.
For all the mothers who read Goodnight, Moon twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who taught their sons to cook and sew and their daughters to be brave and strong. (And sink a jump shot.)
This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home or grown up.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just fine once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away. And they do.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, and who can't find the words to reach them.
For all the mothers who bite their lips, sometimes until they bleed, when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.
What makes a good Mother anyway?Is it patience?Compassion?Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?
Or is it the heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?
Or the terror in your heart at 1 a.m. when your teenager with the new driver's license is an hour late getting home?
The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 a.m. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
Or to feel the dull ache as you look in on your sleeping daughter or son the night before they leave for a college in another city?
The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
For all the mothers of the victims of all the school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.
This is for mothers who have tearfully placed flowers and teddy bears on their children's graves. Whose children have died from illness, accidents and the worst of all and hardest to comprehend, suicides.
This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation.
And mature mothers who have learned and are still learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Grandmothers whose wisdom and love remains a constant for their grown children and their children's children.
Please pass this to a wonderful mother you know. (I just did.)"

Riley milestone

Riley rolled over for the first time last September 13 and he's now 5.95 kilograms.

Thelms told me to check her email today. She saved a survey email from me dated March 26, 2003. And Lo and Behold I found this entry:

NAME OF FUTURE CHILD? --> boy- Riley girl - Lexie Maeve

I forgot how 2 years ago I already thought of Riley as my boy's name. Weird. Must be the anaesthesia. Or it must be fate.

aneurysm and other diseases

Albert Einstein died of aneurysm. it has special significance to me because my Mama died of that too. I've never heard of this disease up until Mama was in the hospital already, right after passing out and going into coma. A deadly combination of hypertension, diabetes and a lethal too much of something diet will make you a likely candidate for aneurysm.

Riley has colds for days now. Poor thing. Last night, he slept the entire time without having his mimilk. He got stressed out over his vaccination. First bouts of physical pain. Ouch.

favorite quotes for today

"The juice would definitely be worth the squeeze."

"Improving your mornings can do wonders for your afternoons."

I was browsing some sites and got inspired with these quotes. Cute.

It's Riley's immunization day again. He is so cool in the mornings. He smiles right after waking up. Definitely not from me. That's why my mornings are better now because of his attitude. So he influenced me big time on that one. Hehe.

something from e-mode

lynette, your signature color is Aqua Paradise

You're one-of-a-kind, that's for sure. A unique individual like you will make her mark with a bold, eye-catching color that's not afraid to be noticed. That's why we're pairing you up with Aqua Paradise. Your friends may sometimes question your choices in everything from what you wear to who you date, but they are likely to admire your willingness to experience all that life has to offer. In fact, it wouldn't surprise us if your experimental nature has helped you become ultra-secure in yourself — and that's a great way to be. You've also probably got a creative way of looking at the world that gives you a unique approach to solving problems, at home and at work. And your offbeat opinions and adventurous spirit likely make you a compelling character to pal around with. So keep it up, Aqua, and never give up on whatever paradise you seek!

circa 90's

Just had a phone conversation with my bestfriend Mommy Thelms. We we reminiscing our era of the 1990's, the songs, the shows. Memories of highschool, endless daydreaming, watching tv, reading romance novels and journal writing. Friday nights laughing with Doogie and bestfriend Vinnie and learning about life as he writes on his online journal (PC na wow). And getting kilig over the whole cast of BevHills 90210. Brandon Walsh..wahh..

Dream Rooms

There's this really great site called www.potterybarnkids.com sobrang cool ng mga stuff for kids. And these are my favorites..Love all the colors.

Happy Bday G~!

It's G-Anne's 20th birthday last August 24. I'd like to thank her
for taking care of Rye and me during those early months. A true
Tita Ninang.

Old Manila and its charms

I have a new hobby, well, it sort of been happening for awhile now but didn't realized it till today. I'm collecting articles, photos and trivia of Old Manila. I get it from Philippine Star's City Sense columnist Paulo Alcazaren, Carlos Celdran and Lakbay Pilipinas yahoo groups. I just want to keep it. I dunno why. Maybe something to share with Riley when he's older. Or for me when I'm old and wanted to reminisce about Manila: Ermita, Malate, Intramuros, Binondo, Pasay, Taft..all these places where I've stayed for years and years. My footprints littered its streets.

Recently, I've been to U.N. The old Burger King across Mcdo is now Shakey's. Wala lang, it's sad when new structures replaced the ones I have memories with. Sniff. Sniff.

motherhood

sabi ni Ben I should post some Mommy stuff, so here goes..hehe.

Being Mommy means:
-forgetting uninterrupted sleep
-buying milk and diapers instead of all my "luho"
-going home straight after work (no more "hmm, where do I go tonight?")
-waking up in the morning and being grateful for this little person beside me
-doing the baby babble - Oh Riley, Abatootoot Bananaks, coochi coochi coo
-managing my time well (now that IS tough)
-staring at my kiddo while he's fast asleep
-making dutdut kalikot his ears, nose, feet, hair (yucky cradle cap) for some thorough cleaning
-having a picture of my baby on my fon, in my MSN messenger, on my PC
-Burping is a breakthrough
-seeing a smile from my son makes me sane especially when I want to declare war with the world (wahh)
-i make effort to be kinder, gentler coz I don't want Riley to visit me in jail!
-I now understand my parents, especially why my Mom was strict with me
-being dazed with joy everyday knowing I have a son

My dream boy!

Can't get enuf

Riley - Irish term for "strong"
Matthew - "gift from God"

I think he's living up to his name! This kid wants to grow up and fast. I hope he's tall. I can't wait to know what his talents are. I want to hear his voice. I'm excited to hear his laugh.

My Batootoot Anakish

Here is my son, my precious son...

Oh Riley

Hey Arj, even I can’t believe I’m a Mom already. I had an emergency CS operation coz my pelvic bones are small, Rye’s heartbeat was going down and his umbilical cord was tied around his neck. It’s great that my OB and her husband anaesthesiologist helped me throughout the delivery. And I have pictures of Rye in the E.R. immediately after he came out. May 19, 4:31 pm. 5’5 lbs 4.2 cm. Those were his stats. His birthday coincides with the Star Wars world premiere. Hehe. Comedy nga birth story nya eh na may halong drama. I'll post his pix soon.

Belair History

Last year, I bid goodbye to a place I called home for 26 years. It's a national treasure, a rare work of art right in the heart of Manila. It's called Belair Apartments. Formerly known as Boulevard Alhambra Apartments and designed by National Artist Pablo Antonio. I knew of this trivia from Carlos Celdran and his blog - celdratours.blogspot.com. It was able to withstand WWII and earthquakes. I saw how this place evolved --from a domestic haven to a busy commercial hub. Gone were the days when I knew the faces of each tenant and the floor they occupy. I spent my childhood aware of every major rally and national event by glancing from the windows and balconies of Belair, overlooking Luneta Grandstand and Manila Bay. It was the best.

Even before all these condo units came around, there was Belair. And it still stands, mighty and proud.

a mom at last

i'm back at work completely changed. Well, for starters I'm a Momma to a beautiful curly-haired baby boy named Riley Matthew. It's been 2 months of roller-coaster emotions. All intense full-speed ahead ones..He's amazing. He now smiles at me and makes his first sounds. And he's so chubby! Best of all, he looks at me with adoring big brown eyes, pouts and puckers his full lips and pushes me with his strong hands. The best smell in the world for me now is his feet, baby smelly feet. This 4 kilo miracle is now the center of my existence second to God. He sleeps better now. He eats more and doesn't fuss around that much anymore. He doesn't cry, he whines and whimpers..too cute for words.

I'm still amazed everyday that I have this kid to have and to hold, unlimited hugs and kisses, that's why babies are called "bundles of joy". It's so true. I've never been lucky with men but this time around, i think i've got the MAN.

Brownie points

I thought I was stacking up on my brownie points, you know that infamous scene in "Notting Hill" where the most pathetic story gets the last browny. But then each day, I feel just so protected and blessed. So now I don't feel so gloomy. In fact, I realized how many real friends I have out there. And they always pick the right time to call or to text. And God always sends the appropriate friend to be there for me. And I think I might do the baby shower thing even on a budget. It feels good just to be surrounded with people who truly care for you, well, the two of us.

Collide Song

I was listening to 88.3 and this beautiful song just swept me away one morning. I loved the words, "even the best fall down sometimes" wala lang. it's a cool song, you should hear it.

Howie Day - Collide Lyrics

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

nuts about Ewan

last night i caught an interview with Ewan McGregor by Jules Asner. It was the first time I've listened to him in a long interview and he's just great. Very smart, it was a very interesting talk. He values his family and he has a passion for motorbikes. He's so galing in his films. And he's not afraid to star in small-budgeted films because he says success is not gauged only on box-office success. Loved him!

I also started a scrapbook for Riley (boy or girl, that's the name). Thanks to Papemelroti's new line of products. That's my project for now. Ultrasound pix, doctors' notes and stuff. Gotta have my picture taken too. Geez, my pix are still with JJ's digital cam in the States. Gotta stack up on the memories. Don't know if I'll ever be in the "interesting stage" again. Wahaha. Never say never, Polyester.

I'm testing my budgeting skills (if that's even the term) since I have to handle all the bills and the confusing cheque account for the house payment. Ohh, this week was truly stressful. Thank God for friends who know Banking and math.

I'm sad that my Lolo died. I wasn't able to see him last year. But I know he understood. And that the Pope is dying. The man just swept me away when he went here 10 years ago. But I hope the Church goes for major changes once the newly-elected Pope starts his term. Good changes, in tune with the modern times.

Memory Freak

i'm cramming to put as many memories as I can remember for a time capsule. para sa 18th bday nya hehe. That includes a letter I've made. And clippings and photos. Gotta hurry. Dami ko pang projects lined up eh. I just hope i could do everything before i get busy with the arrival. I'm like this because I didn't have many pictures when i was a baby. I don't want to miss out on this one. Dapat well-documented and geez, i really have to organize (soo hard)! Gotta stack rolls of film and boxes for the mementos. These are the only treasures I can share. I hope ma-appreciate when the time comes.

My own I Like List

Just saw a cute book/website called "The Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life" www.encyclopediaofanordinarylife.com and got inspired. Here's my own version of I Like. I'd like to indulge in this because it's Saturday and I'm at work and because I'm missing someone pretty bad.

I liked that he taught me how to use the sharp, pointy part in an ointment cap: to open the darn thing
I liked that he showed me I had a lipstick mirror in my handbag, which I never bothered to open
I liked that we sit next to each other instead of across the table
I liked it when he closes his eyes during an argument, as if it was THE expression of exasperation
I liked how he doesn't show his teeth when he poses for a picture
I liked it when he doesn't want me in the kitchen when he cooks: I pester him kasi
I liked it when he gets awakened by his own loud snoring and sees me laughing at him
I liked that he text when he's in a bookstore to ask if I already got a copy of a fave author's book
I liked that he finishes all my left-overs even if he's so stuffed already
I liked how he watches tv: with brows knitted together
I liked that he invents a language only he understands
I liked how he stands outside the door, in a model pose
I liked that he smells good all the time. Sans perfume.

The one thing I didn't like was not saying goodbye face to face or in his case, eye to eye.

Gilmore Girls & Gratitude

Gilmore Girls is back for a whole new season as well as Alias and One Tree Hill. Yihaa.. I can definitely relate with Lorelai now. I mean I think I'll be that kind of mom - weird, crazy, cool. Hopefully. It's so much fun watching their characters evolved and communicate well. Last Saturday, they were in the same exact situation but they couldn't find each other and both didn't know what was happening with the other. Sigh. Wished I were a little psychic and just know how people are doing especially when they're in so much pain. Instead I'm more psycho. Aww.

Highlight of my day - a printer installed in my work area. I don't know why I'm happy with this seemingly no biggie. Well, little things make me happy nowadays. It's something I need to do to make it thru everyday. I'm thinking of a gratitude blog starting today. I'm grateful for our kasambahay, that's the appropriate Tagalog word for househelp. All the veggies she's preparing and just the thought that there's someone who will help you when you need it is a huge lift. For my worry-free commute in the mornings thanks to Yen. For a wonderful doctor who can be mistaken for a shrink too. She's just soo pleasant. For moonlight every night in my window. I mean if you knew where I used to live, this is really A MIRACLE. And of course, the heartbeat of my baby when I woke up this morning. Nothing beats that. Thank You Lord.

hide and seek

it didn't want to reveal itself. it refused to budge. but was waving and moving. til next time.

checked out YM and old memories came surging back. i was like the crying emoticon.

the good part of me tells me to shut up. the bad side well..will remain hidden.

a relationship's postmortem

I just can't resist writing about this. And so it was a thousand days of myth and realism. I wouldn't have it any other way. I've always said my life's banner would be "No Regrets" which is more romantic as opposed to "Tried but Died". It was the kind of thing you only experienced once and then you go about it inside your head when you're old and feeling abandoned, trying to recapture every detail in an effort to be alive once more.

People no matter how much you care for them, end up leaving. You lose them to death, to career, to other people, to vice, to foreign lands and different life goals. So if they're still with you, hang on to their every word and action because they will be gone...soon.

It's a sad fact. But the good news is you get to store each person's memory in your head. Or in your heart. Or in any body part you wish for them to linger (Oopsy..). And you pray really hard that when the rains of life come, these people will continue to inspire you, urging you to fight and emerged victorious in the end.

touche

And so it has come to this...again. I really can't complain. This is a life-altering moment and do I know it? YEAH. This will test my grit, my stamina, heck everything. But contrary to public expectation, I will rise to the occasion. You'll see. Just you wait. This is the kind of stuff I was destined to fulfill. Bring it on.

I maybe scared, confused and dazed at this point but I'm human. Give me some time. After all, it was a thousand days of bliss. I'm just enduring 3 weeks of woe.

seduce the duke

Your Seduction Style: The Dandy

You're a non-traditionalist, not limited by gender roles or expectations.Your sexuality is more fluid than that - and you defy labels or categories.It's hard to pin you down, and that's what's fascinating about you.You have the psychology of both a male and a female, and you can relate to anyone.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/seducerquiz/">What Is Your Seduction Style?

A Prophet Soul

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Ta Met!!!

Jocelle Anne calls me "'Ta Met!" Last night, we were singing our lungs out in the videoke. Then I had a wonderful conversation with JJ and Jom about speaking English here and knowing Tagalog and how kids are mean here. It was one of those moments where you just want to stretch forever. But we were all sleepy already and it was great to end the night like that. And I savor being with Ate and having breakfast, lunch and dinner with her and just laughing together. And Jocelle's big eyes staring at me in wonder as I sang "Part of your world". You see, she's Ariel and she prefers to be called "Mermaid" than just her Mom's "Pumpkin".

Oh boy, this month flew by so quickly I didn't even realized I cut my hair tomboy short. And some pretty huge changes too. Anyhow, I look forward to coming home and just bond with the Cendanas. Especially Jocelle. The maldita kid who just makes me feel good about life.

2004 reasons to be grateful

2004 was just amazing, surprising, goodness--it's dumbfounding!

Kupal Krismas

Nais ko kayong lahat batiin "Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon"!Di ko alam ibig sabihin ng "manigo" pero malamang ok yun. Huwag kalimutang magpasalamat sa lahat ng mga natanggap na biyaya sa lilipas na taon. Ipagdasal ang mga yumao, ang mga nalulungkot at mga tuliro sa utak at sa puso.Yakapin at sabihing minamahal mo ang mga taong malapit sa yong puso, sa iyong pamilya na tinanggap ka ng lubos mabuti man o masama ang iyong nagawa, sa iyong mga kaibigan na umunawa at nagtimpi sa yong mga walang katuturang pag-aalala sa buhay, sa iyong minamahal o mga minamahal..labas na kami dun. Sa mga ka-opisinang nagtiwala kahit na minsan topakin ka sa trabaho. At higit sa lahat sa Poong Maykapal na binigay ang lahat pati ang sariling Anak para lamang sa kupal na katulad natin. Amen.

18 days to go before Xmas

so this is going to be a really busy month. there's the choir xmas party, the company xmas party, the moving, ate arrival..busy beezee..good news is that i'm out of my dark mode. snapped out of it. goodbye uncle scrooge. i intend to have a great holiday season this year because i'm so much blessed. and it's coming along fine. a Bible verse just came to me "His grace is sufficient for me." I mean as my bestfriend said, the past weeks i've been trying desperately trying to be superwoman, doing everything at once. and that's really stressful.not to mention chaotic on my part. i acknowledged that i need help from people. that i can't do it alone. that people indeed care a whole lot. and it comes in droves, in spurts through text, one on one meetings. i am surrounded with the best kind of people..those who are kind and who understand. come what may.

24 days til Christmas

so the whole of November was a blur, busy with the house, busy with family concerns, busy with the unexpected surprise that is..shh..and so now I'm still in a dazed state. About to move to this new environs and yet getting sad at the thought of leaving my comfort zone which is bel-air. Last Sunday it dawned on me. There is no going back. And then sadness just swept me away.

My mood shifts like a blink of an eye. Rapid and erratic all at once. And it's making me insane. More insanity coming up in the next months. Don't miss it.

I'm exhausted, emotionally, physically. I just want to sleep for a week. And then wake up like none of this happened. Haha.

So i'm partly done with my x-mas shopping. check. The whole of Sunday we braved the mall sale and found some great finds. Please understand i'm getting semi-o.c. these days. Must be the influence of my boss. i'm about to embark on my first house move so i must get ready to pack. Oh, the travails of letting go of the environs I've grown up with. But then the people are the ones I truly missed. And they have gone ahead too.

Last night I was laughing so hard over Adam Brody's character Seth in the O.C. He was hilarious. He was soo cute. He's even better than the male lead. Most of all, he gets the best lines in the series. I'm also crazy about One Tree Hill. Oh, and the best news is that Studio 23's bringing back Gilmore Girls this November. Yey!

this is Escolta in the 1800s. isn't it amazing to be in a place where so much life and history has happened? 

under the weather

so it was an extended down time for me. which completely weirded me out because usually in 1 or 2 days i'm back in my usual jolly mode. but this one took me weeks. on the outside, nothing's wrong with me. i've been with friends, with people that matter, i'm ok with work, church service. so i ought to be fine. NO.

inside i was a mess. when i'm alone or about to sleep or wake up, i just couldn't muster enough strength to get up or continue on. i mean believe me when i tell you i must have known what sleeping beauty felt. up until now, i don't know why it was like that. probably the lull in my sked, the routine and the all-together nothing really eventful happening with me. the excitement of moving spiralled in my head for quite a while and then i began to feel indifferent about it since the process took long to materialize finally. everything is like jampacked in december.

so when the earthquake happened, at least blood was rushing thru my veins. i mean i was that desperate for something, anything exciting to happen. i was cranky, negative and a total waste of time to people around me. so there.

do you know how odd it is to go to the mall and not find anything to buy for xmas gifts? not one single item? even for myself? am i crazy? di ba shopping is the remedy for depression among women? arrgghh..

now, i think i'm getting my groove back. i wish.

and the earth shook

So i was about to drift to la la land last night when the earth trembled. And it was longer than the last time which was about a month ago. I thought i was just groggy when suddenly even the wallclock was swaying. Good thing i wasn't the panicky type. When you live in a 70 yr old building, it is scary. But then i couldn't find my slippers, so we just stayed where we were. That's how anti-social or stupid our family were har har har..but turns out it was just that one time. I remembered the "Relativity" episode where Isabel and Leo were doing it and there was an earthquake, understably so because they were in L.A. They thought they caused the earth to move. whoa!

Kudos to CNN. they reported it first. The local networks suck!

spelunking in Sagada

spelunking (n) the sport of climbing and walking in caves

Way before i learned what this word actually means, i was able to do this already. yey! we spelunked (?) in Sumaging Cave in Sagada, also known as the Big Cave. It was the ultimate adventure. On hindsight, we didn't really know what we were getting into. Thelma just let us read a few web articles about Sagada and Auntie Day's own trips. And I was the total "saling pusa" on that trip. I bought the bus ticket with only 2 seats available since Thelma and Jen got theirs a week earlier. I only had enough money to last a week and truly we couldn't believe how we even got home. Yes, i promised the mountain mystics i'll go back. with Juan Luna in tow.

a busy sunday city tour

Yen and i had our "day-off" yesterday at Camp Aguinaldo to be at the "Feast" celebration with Bo Sanchez. It was fun to see Mara from our college block who's part of the choir and other Elimites like Work and Randy. I'm not sure if they transferred communities or it's just a guest member thingy. Anyhoo, it was inspiring to listen to Bo. I've read about him for so long but it was the first time i ever saw and listened to him live.

Yen and i had head aches from commuting and too much walking. But it was still fun.

We visited preggy thelmy. Had extended girl talk. which the both of them did the talking. i was just a sounding board as always..hehe. I had a great time just listening to them laugh and shout at each other because they CAn be loud..er. I think I got extra listening skills than most people. I can survive not speaking for days. It's true. It's all about taking it all in.

give me gilmore girls

i missed "gilmore girls" already, ang bagal ng studio 23 ha. and it's not on cable so it's really frustrating..i just have to make do with the website transcripts and spoilers of the show. I love Lorelai and Rorie. I mean if I'll be a mom and that's a HUGE if, i'd be crazy weird like Lorelai. Someone who thinks of her daughter as a friend more than the "i'm the mom so you will obey every word i say" type. My mom and I had a big generation gap but then she was still cool. She was very good with people. She had this engaging personality and was so persuasive. i didn't inherit that at all. She was the happy extrovert. I was the loner, spaced-out kid who had books as playmates.

Another mother-daughter thingy i wanted was "Anywhere But Here" featuring Susan Sarandon and Natalie Portman. Always the kid who acts like an adult, always the mother who has seen it all and determined to live a great, worry-free life. I always get weepy after i watch it. It just strikes me everytime.