Of Love

I still don't have a copy of Andrew M. Greeley's "Book of Love" so I'm gonna be content with an excerpt for now:

Foreword

Love Before Love
It is odd that God has chosen the name of Love.

Maybe it's only a human name that we ascribe to God. Maybe we've imposed it on God without His permission. Or Her permission. Christianity is more explicit about the name. St. John says flatly that God is love. Other religions, as the selections in this Book of Love will illustrate, say pretty much the same thing, though perhaps more cautiously. Even the saints and the mystics, who may have had more contact with God than the rest of us, claim that they encounter overwhelming love.

If God didn't like the name, He could have easily rebuked those who use it, one way or another. If one is a Christian, one has to say that St. John's naming of God is inspired, that in some fashion God and St. John conspired to call Her Love.

Odd.

All right, our efforts at naming God are pale metaphors that reveal to us a little about God, a lot less than they don't reveal. God is like human love but also unlike it. Less passionate, less forceful, less determined, less enraptured? We can hardly say that because if we do the metaphor collapses. Love in its very nature is passionate, forceful, determined, enraptured. So if the metaphor has any validity at all it must mean that God is like human love only more so, more passionate, more forceful, more determined, more enraptured.

Scary.

Persistently passionate human lovers can be very scary. However, we can cool them off in various ways. A God who is infinitely more passionate? A God whom we can't cool off? A God from whom we can't escape? Very scary indeed.

And very odd.

Love is not just hearts and flowers and St. Valentine's Day lace -- though it is that too. Love is essentially a raging torrent rushing inexorably toward union. A river tumbling irresistibly toward the ocean, the ocean sweeping up into the river mouth in its high tide. Love is usually very messy, very troublesome, very dangerous, very consuming. It is, as Father Martin Darcy S.J. wrote in his classic The Mind and Heart of Love, finally not so much the desire to possess as the desire to be possessed. God is like that?

Most odd.

We are tempted to say that God doesn't really mean that. She conspired with St. John to say she was something sweet and nice, not something turbulent and demanding and fearsome. The word doesn't mean the same thing at all when it is used of human love as when it is used as God. Certainly Love is not love, right?

Wrong! Unless you want to argue that God plays word games as well as dice.

Love emerged in humankind not as a result of our being human but as a precondition of our becoming human. In our hominid ancestors the bonding between male and female, already passionate enough, had to extend to the female's children for humanity as we know it to emerge. The bond of love produced a family and, by so doing, produced humankind. Moreover, to really bond the family together humans had to develop in such a way that the male and female were capable of sex not merely episodically (once a month, once a year) but all the time. Now that is really messy!

Did God really want to compare Himself to the hunger of man and woman for one another, a hunger which in its pervasiveness is unique among the species about which we know? A hunger which causes all kinds of trouble in the human condition? A hunger which has developed out of the bonding propensities that we share with other less passionate species? A propensity to bond rooted in the earth and in bodies? Did God want us to think that He's really like that?

If He did, that is outrageously odd. However, one learns, like Job, not to argue with God. If God wants to be Love, then that's His business. One can understand, however, why many people try to pretend that God doesn't really mean it or to pretty the name over with a sentimental veneer. The implications of the notion that there is something in the messy joy of human passion that is very like God are too disturbing to have to take seriously.

Not only, then, do we pretend that the passion between man and woman is totally different from God's passion for us, we also try to pretend that all the other varieties of love that are part of human life are totally different from sexual passion. The word obviously means three totally different things -- God, human sexual attraction, and all the other loves in our life. There is lovep1p, lovep2p, and lovep3p. The first is God, the second is sexual attraction, the third is the way we feel about our friends and relatives. All are different. They merely happen to have the same name.

Stated that baldly, our attempt to eliminate the body from our friendships and from God may seem hilarious to some. Nonetheless, it is the implied conventional wisdom of those who want to escape from the scary implications of love as passion.

In fact, we know of no other species that have as many different kinds of love as we do. Clearly all our other loves are possible only because we are a species endowed with a very unique kind of sexuality, one oriented not merely, and not even principally, toward reproduction but toward bonding. Humans can have a wide variety of loves because they have such a powerful capacity to bond. The other loves are not the same as passion between man and woman, but the ability to engage in passionate sexual bonding makes possible all the other loves. They are not watered-down versions of sexual love but rather the result of our vast, amorphous, and desperate need to bond. Close friendship is not the same as sexual love, but it's not completely different either and is possible because we are creatures who can bond.

That leaves unanswered the question of why God wants to identify herself with human bonding, why She wants to create the impression that it is in her nature to bond with us. We often wish God would go away with that metaphor, but clearly there is no escaping it though we pretend to try.

Perhaps that is the reason that in so many of the current spate of books about virtues (Books of Virtue, etc.) love is absent. In these books one encounters much about various stoic virtues as honesty, reliability, industry, and suchlike -- all doubtless admirable virtues. However, one reads nothing in these inestimable anthologies about love.

One wonders why. Did St. Paul not say the greatest virtue was love? Have the anthologists dismissed him because love has somehow come to be identified with nineteen sixties' hedonism (as in "make love not war"), drugs, and rock music? Might it be that love is perceived as a soft, mushy, self-indulgent, undisciplined quality that hardly deserves the name of a virtue? How could one who writes editorials for the Wall Street Journal and cries for more outrage from Americans possibly sing the praises of something like love, for which there is, anyhow, little room in a free market economy? Why, of all things, should parents want to put in the hands of their children a book about love? Given the very conservative orientation of the anthologists, that may well be the case. Too bad for St. Paul. And for St. John too.

If love is a torrential force toward a union that bonds, it will bring sustained happiness only when it is focused, disciplined, intent, experienced, mature, patient, kind, and all those other nice things St. Paul says about it. The ability to love wisely and well is the most important trait parents can pass on to their children. It is not, however, sentimental mush.

Thus it seemed to us that the omission of Love from those anthologies is passing strange. So we decided to prepare a book that might be a supplement or a corrective or even a challenge to such books of virtue, minimally a polite reminder from St. Paul that without love the stoic virtues are sounding brass and tinkling cymbals.

Therefore we commit this book to two fundamental propositions:

God is Love.

The greatest of all virtues is love.

Mega Daughter

One favorite childhood memory of mine was being with my sister as we watch Sharon's films on the big screen. She's a true Sharonian. And I think she has rubbed off on me, but this time I love Sharon's daughter KC. She is cool. Recently, tabloid showbiz went crazy over the news that she spent time with her dad, after years of not being together. Wow. She is truly her mother's best achievement. And the fact that she shuns the usual showbiz fare but still graces commercials and fashion mags (and they sell!), that's class.

Oki, I think aside from Lea Salonga and Mikee Cojuangco, KC will be included in my roster of favorite Pinay beauties. They exude beauty, style, grace and excellence. Truly worth emulating. Ohh, I can't wait for my baby girl (!) in + years hahaha..

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Sleep has been such an indulgence especially this long weekend. The rainy weather just makes you want to lie down and chill. Hay..sarap. And then my 15 month old toddler would wrestle me in bed and as usual, I lose everytime. Sigh.

Survey

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1. Voice and stage performance coach
2. Researcher and production assistant
3. Creative and PR staff
4. Marketing ASM

Four movies I've watched Over and Over:
1. Pretty Woman
2. You've Got Mail
3. Before Sunrise
4. Before Sunset

Four places I've lived in:
1. Belair in UN Avenue - 26 years of my life
2. Sampaloc, Manila - bumabaha
3. Las Pinas
4. BF Paranaque

Four TV shows I'd like to watch:
1. One Tree Hill
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. LOST
4. Philippine Idol

Four places I've been on a vacation:
1. Hongkong
2. China
3. Cebu
4. Sagada

Websites I visit daily:
1. msn
2. livejournal
3. blogger
4. inq7

My favorite foods:
1. italian
2. sitsirya - junk food is my weakness
3. ice cream
4. inihaw

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. Paris
2. Florence
3. California
4. Corregidor

Being a Fan

Hi, Lynette!

Great to hear from you. You're always good for my ego. I'm actually delighted to hear that Jinxed is now dog-eared, lol, and that it's still bringing you so much pleasure.

I hope you'll follow me when I make the switch to Desire. Take care and do stay in touch!

Best, Day
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This is the reply I got from Day Leclaire, author of numerous romance books from Harlequin.

When I was a teenager, I used to read about an average of 2 books a day since these are easy reads, roughly 100 pages max of Harlequin, Mills and Boons, Silhoutte no brainers. I like the stories, how they met, fall in love, conflict, break up and the obligatory happy endings. It's pure mush but still for someone who didn't have a boyfriend in highschool, it was a great escape from it all. If you're not living it, at least you get to read about it right?!

Day Leclaire had this fun book called "Jinxed". The story revolves around a toy inventor (girl) who is clumsy and disorganized so her boss (guy) usually freaks out. It's a screwball comedy filled with hilarious situations and I just kept on laughing the whole time. I love it so much.

Videoke

My videoke experience takes me as far back as late 1990's, when multiplex was becoming obsolete and cds are the "in" thing. The first time I heard of Magic Sing microphone was when my ex-boyfriend used to do demos and they'd do the rounds in exhibits and trade fairs. I kid you not.

Next thing I knew, videoke microphones,token machines and videoke bars took hold of Pinoys everywhere. It's fun. It fulfills your diva ambitions. It annoys your neighbors. FUN!

I already have a repertoire when it comes to these long, long hours of serious singing. From fast to slow, OPM..love it. And then you see your reward at the end: 100, You Are Great Singer!

Of War

The first ever memory I had of war was when I was 9 years old. I remember distinctly it was on channel 7 and the made for tv movie was called "Escape from Sobibor". It was about a few Jews who escaped in a Poland death camp. After that, I kept reading about Nazis, Hitler, Holocaust and we even had a Time war photography book. I dunno but I was hooked. Anne Frank made me cry a lot. I used to think all Germans were evil. I hated their language and I feared them. I watched "Schindler's List" and the "Pianist" with a heavy heart. I didn't understand "Life is Beautiful" when I first saw it until I had my own child. How I wanted to shield him from the horrors of the world and so forth.

Now, there's the war in Lebanon. In the homefront, NPAs and terrorists abound. It's scary. In an instant, your whole life will change. Survival or death - not much choice but it's reality. Will I be a hero or a coward?

Vodka Dry

There was a year when I was drunk for like twice a week. I'm not sure if it's 2002 or 2003. Anyway. I didn't know why I felt compelled to drink. I wasn't depressed or anything (or was I? Tsk tsk, I don't really remember). I'd also have drinking sessions at home with my brothers. I just went to gimiks and it was more fun to have Smirnoff Mule or Bailey's or San Mig Light than Cali Shandy. It was also the year I think I went bar hopping the most. Now I think of how much I spent that time and winced. Going home at 5am from Malate, Thelma if you're reading this - those were the days..

My alcohol history is under scrutiny today since we recently had our videoke night with office pips. And I only had grape juice. Ya, how boring but it was a really huge glass (hehe). Anyway. I realized alcohol doesn't appeal to me anymore unlike before. Although I can still have Absolut vodka on certain occasions. Or gin tonic.

Or..never mind..

Musicals

The past week was cartoons, this weekend was all about musicals. And guess who was my tv buddy? Rye of course! I got copies of "The Phantom of the Opera" and "Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat". And then we both got lost in the fascinating worlds of music, song and dance. We gasped. We danced. We slept really late.

In college, I was able to learn about musicals when I studied the works of Vincente Minnelli - An American in Paris, Meet Me in St. Louis, Brigadoon..So now I'm gonna start my own collection. Oh and soundtracks too.

My nephews got hooked on "High School Musical" at Disney Channel. Now I'm into it as well. And the female lead is Pinay. Yey!

Cartoons

I know this is such a LATE review on "Chicken Little" but I can't help but write about it nonetheless. Yesterday, when the rains were pounding outside, Rye and I were laughing (at least I was laughing and he was seriously watching - eyes big and mouth open). I wasn't able to see it when it was the "in" movie. It was fun. I mean I only watch cartoons when I'm with kids and watching it with my son had a special feel to it. Like it's a start of stuffs we would do together..now we wrestle each other, I'd relentlessly pursue to kiss him and he'd wiggle away and then I'll corner him and he'll give out an ear-shattering shriek. Tomorrow, we might be travelling together. Or in the future, we'd watch basketball etc etc.

Sights, Sounds and Smells of Childhood

Growing up, these are the distinct Sss I'll always remember:

TV show sights:

1. Batibot - When I saw Kuya Bodjie in person I got star struck kahit ang tanda ko na!

2. Tagalog Classics - those black and white films on channel 9, that's why nag Comm Arts ako, I wanted to do films and know what it's like backstage..Favorite ko si Gloria Romero and Rogelio dela Rosa..

3. Knight Rider - David Hasselhof before Baywatch and Kit, great car

4. McGyver - every Saturday night, the whole family would watch Richard Dean Anderson fight the bad guys using the swiss knife lang

5. Doogie Howser M.D. - eto yung nagpamulat sa akin sa PC and keeping a journal, love the soundtrack and his friendship with Vinnie

6. Twilight Zone - it's creepy Friday lagi

7. Beverly Hills 90210 - Brandon Walsh..wahh..Thelma and I loved the show so much!

8. Sa Linggo NA PO Sila - Love the APO and first saw Agot and Rico Yan was just starting sa noon time show na to

9. Anna Liza - naabutan ko pa si Julie Vega. Favorite ng Mama ko yun, she even went to her burial

10. Homefront - palabas to sa channel 2 pero super late na, setting after the war in US

Sounds:
1. My Mom and Dad's conversations every morning - nagigising ako sa mga boses nila, just talking and having breakfast

2. Smokey Mountain - i was so into Jeffery Hidalgo but thelma said he's gay now so..boohoo. it was the 1st concert that i went to..

3. Ogie Alcasid - Kuya Bong has his albums, favorite nya tlga kaya nung pinanood nya yung concert sa Maxi, he was so thrilled!

4. audio cassettes - dati we give ate elma audio tapes of our singing and messages..hahaha..those were the days

5. choir practice - we'd stay at Tahanan village where the Mercados live and just practice and sing the whole day, minsan buong weekend pa..saya

6. Lea Salonga - nagasgas na ung copy ko ng "A Miss Called Lea", na memorize ko na lahat ng repertoire nya. I still know I'm gonna be in a musical soon (libre mangarap di ba)

7. 60's music at RJ 100 - dati sa Cavite, every Sunday tune in sila Mama sa RJ.. Matt Monroe, Frank Sinatra all the classics alam ko

8. Jessica Zafra's "Twisted on a Sunday" - thelma and i listened to it faithfully every week, and laugh and rant with her

9. Mama singing - she used to sing "You Needed Me" everytime sa videoke kaya ayun ang theme song nya. Whenever I hear it, I know nagpaparamdam sya sa akin, either Im good or in trouble..hehe

10. Ate Elma singing - oh no! she had a recording of Sharon's HIgh School Life and it was so horrible, tawa kami ng tawa..

Smells:
1. garlic frying / sautee - Mama's yummy cooking, yung kitchen namin ang bango bango, I still can't eat lumpiang shanghai and all her other famous dishes without remembering her

2. Barbie doll - the smell of my new toy fresh out of the box

3. Coppertone sunblock / chlorine - during my summer swimming class at Rizal stadium

4. saltwater - Manila Bay when it was cleaner

5. My mom's perfume - sweet, not overpowering

6. Air freshener - those tiny, multi-colored oblong shaped ones you put in pencil cases

7. eraser and stationery - in school

8. chowking - it was just below our unit

9. pets - had a number of dogs and they all smell bad..hehe

10. melon - my favorite summer fruit

Now that I'm older, it's Rye's feet and head that I'm addicted to. Asim!

Grey's Anatomy

I love Meredith Grey. She's my new alter-ego. She embodies my childhood wish of being a doctor. I love her. and I love Dr. McDreamy. Believe me I know how she feels.

The Bitch in Me

I'm exhausted from being angry. I never did like being mad. I cringed at confrontations and refused to argue or debate - that was my nature. Until now. Well, when the offense is made against my friend or family member, that's where the bitch in me comes alive. I don't want to be mad because I can be really mean, the "alias" factor, my wish of being a secret agent surfaced again. I really plan my mode of attack. Yes, it's freaking me out too.

I don't want to go to full details because that will kill the mystery (hehe). The first incident was too easy. A guy was bothering my friend to the point of stalking. What I did was really low ( I know) but it had to be done. I simply mass mailed his friends and relatives, all those found in his forwarded messages and told what he has been doing to her for the past weeks. and then my soul sister sent the same message to all of his officemates' email addresses. and he finally backed off. what's weird is that this guy couldn't imagine me being the mastermind of it all.

the second one is much more complicated. I was able to say to her face she's below pond scum (of course that wasn't exactly what i said but you get the point huh?!). She's filth. If this is the season for break ups of not meant to be relationships, then well, let's celebrate!

p.s. people are starting to get scared of me. there was a door incident too. my sister and pamangkins got trapped in the room with the broken lock and I kicked the door until it collapsed. I had Extra Joss that day. My sister said I was crazy, should have just broken the door handle. But it took a long time and I had no tools. Kicking the door was easier and made my wish come true (it's the police, open the door!)Now people call me Tadyak Queen.

So moral of the story..always have a hammer in the house. or don't take Extra Joss when not needed.

our Daddy Dad

Yesterday's Father's day celebration was so sweet coz we were all there except for Mama whom we visited at Golden Haven. 4 siblings, 7 apos all crammed in a van and Dad was so happy to spend the day with us.

My Dad is a constant presence in my life, he's been my knight in shining armour, my hero and friend. I think I got the quiet and brooding traits from him. He's shy but he's really funny once you get to know him and loves to read a lot. He also adores his grand kids. He is one guy who's honest (!), well-respected and sooo kind.

I still think someday I'll get lucky enough to find someone kahit kalahati lang ng pagkatao nya...

Lov ya Dad.

Toddler Riley

I got inspired with a mom blog so here's my Rye update:

Yesterday, my sister arrived and Rye was in his best behavior. I even completed lunch without rushing. Holy *&&^! He was all smiling and sits like a saint in a high chair, eating fried chicken. Ate scooped him up and he didn't wiggle away. He was just sickeningly (?) adorable. Heehee.

When we got home, he was just making kulit and he has a new trick - he sways when he hears music. Like the concert goer kind of sway. Cute. When in front of a mirror, he pulls out his tongue. He also puckers his lips when he does the "beautiful eyes" routine.

When Jj cries or makes topak, he would go and parang wants to comfort him. basta punta lang sya and would look or touch him.

My pix at Multiply

since the files are big, i've posted my recent pix at duchessnette.multiply.com.

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As of last count, i have less than 50 books of Andrew M. Greeley. He's a priest, poet, sociologist, professor and novelist of around 30 bestsellers. He's 78 years old and I hope I get to meet him someday. He changed my life, my views on religion but most importantly he influenced my enormous love for God. He reiterates that God lurks everywhere, shares our joys and our pains and that He pursues us with a passion, that God is madly in love with us. AMG believes in second chances, in love renewed and that everyone is a teenager at heart. I hope I get to complete my collection. More to go..

http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/g/andrew-m-greeley/

Full Circle

Around this time last year, I was a sleep-deprived, struggling new Mommy. Those were tough adjustments and I was so tired. Post-partum stress is real. I wanted a break from the round the clock 2 hour feedings not to mention that Rye was colicky. Oh, the daily crying at 3 am made me want to cry myself.

A year after, my Rye sleeps like a log and takes over the entire bed. Last Saturday was his first trip to the zoo. And what a riot it was! We went to the Kinder Zoo - a petting zoo which is better than the entire grounds since you can touch and pose with the animals. Well, Rye and I touched a huge albino snake and a medium-sized snake was placed in my shoulder (I frozed!), a bayawak and parrots. He was patting the snake like it's just a dog.

Pix to follow.

Random Thoughts

This is a weird time..I haven't read a book in months. I haven't watched tv in a month (so I'll probably resort to season dvds of my fave shows coz we don't have cable). I haven't seen a movie in the cinema since Narnia I think. My past weekends were booked for workshops, pedia check ups, bonding with the kids and friends. And Grocery shopping. You won't believe that Thelma, Maro, Yen, Jen & I spent hours in Toy Kingdom and SM Supermarket. Had fun with the scanner thingy. Oh and a video store where we found sale vcds. Yey.

I'm just amazed that my usual multi-media filled existence is now reduced to listening to music on my way to work. And then seeing the latest celebrity news and pix online. It's fun though. Reading stories to Rye even if he slept while I was in the middle of my storytelling..Listening to JJ and Jom's basketball stories..

Celebrity moms boggle me no end. I'm bothered with Britney's about-to-go-on-a breakdown scene due to a barrage of seemingly mommy neglect news. Poor girl. And another one on the way. She looks exhausted. And then we see Jennifer Garner, all smiling and cool holding pretty Violet. Soo cute.

Rye is really announcing to the world he's a toddler now by way of his new tantrum trick - he dives backwards ala Pilita Corrales when he can't have his way or when he's upset. And he's been doing it with much effort. May buwelo pa. Tsk tsk..

Roseola Ruined Rye's Birthday

Everything was perfect. The weather (the week before there was a sudden storm), the venue, the party favors, the program, the people - the kids with their painted faces and the food. Except for Riley. He had fever and colds. Turns out he had 3 Day Fever a.k.a. Roseola Infantum a.k.a Tigdas Hangin. It's NOT measles. It's symptoms are like measles - fever, swollen glands, cough, colds and then yesterday, he had the rashes..all 101 million of them (according to Jayjay). He was the red spotted baby the day after his party.

I'll post the pix tomorrow. Thank you so much for coming! Though Rye was crying, we practiced how he'd blow the cake, how he'd smile and make beautiful eyes to his guests and clap his hands and do the close open baduy thing..He'd do all of those but Roseola ruined it. Wrong timing..

But he was happy. He was still spitting at the guests and he was pointing at Popeye and Olive.

Thank you God. Now that he's one, he's making it known by making the initial toddler tantrums..

post Mother's Day post

My back hurts. Badly need a massage. I haven't fully slept. Badly need a nap. My feet hurt from too much walking. Badly need a foot spa. I have read only 3 pages of Da Vinci Code since this weekend. But I am not complaining. In fact, it's fun! Being a mom to a one year old (in 4 days, wow!) and a guardian to 2 boys (with everyday tantrums) is amazing..Yesterday despite the rains, we braved the museums in Intramuros and had a blast. They learned about Jose Rizal, Philippine costumes and heritage,art works and historical places. In the afternoon off we went to Star City. It was one roller coaster ride (literally and figuratively) for me!

Dear Lord, I thank You for a year drenched with grace. I have witnessed milestones upon milestones of Riley's development and it's just the beginning! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU..

JJ and Jom in Manila

I'm so happy that my nephews are here on vacation. They're going to learn basketball and have field trips organized by me. I already have my itinerary planned and ready for implementation. Museums, heritage sites etc. Wohoo..I'm so maternal these days that it's actually fun. Contrary to my warped expectations. And they love Riley so much. And Rye loves them back. He spits at them (which he does when he's happy) and dives to them head first when they're sleeping..Yup, that's pure cousin(ly)affection.

Straight from the airport, they already went to Romina's party..Cool~!

Sweet Books

Last Saturday, we went to a garage sale and Sweet Valley High books were sold for P20 each. It was like a trip back to highschool. Like revisiting old friends. I was soo happy! I got 2 books, the Saga series and Jessica's Secret Diary. Although I love Elizabeth more, there's still something about Jessica that gets you hooked everytime. And the other subplots like the story of Regina Morrow and Bruce Patman..Ohh..cried rivers of tears... I'm gonna be back and check out more next week. There were Sweet Dreams, Archie Comic Books...my favorites growing up. Another member of the gang although it wasn't on sale was Nancy Drew. That's why part of me wanted to be a spy. She made it seem fun and mysterious of course.
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Rye is not afraid of Grimace the Purple Mascot at McDonald's. He just gave him a creased browed look and then turned his head away. Even when Grimace touched his face! I tell you my kid is a winner at deadmahan. We attended his cousin's birthday yesterday and boy, he attacked the food and my spaghetti almost fell in his lap coz he wanted to eat na. And he loved McFlurry too. Here's to a lot of birthday parties in the future!

11 months Baby!

Rye is 11 months today. Yipeedidoodah! We hit the beach last week and it was his first time to see the sand and the sea. It was such a classic precious moment, seeing him cringe at the feel of sand on his feet. The full moon was especially bright that black Saturday night. It was beautiful. Thank God for real friends. Thank You for Brother Sun and Sister Moon.

Almost a month to go before the Big Day

It's gonna be Rye's 1st birthday next month and I'm so psyched! Been planning it starting last week. So far I got the event details done today. I just need to confirm and finalize the other thingies to make the event more exciting and fun for the kids. My favorite kiddos will be there yahoo!

I've never had a fastfood birthday party venue at all. Not that I am complaining or anything since my Mom took a lot of effort preparing for my home parties and doing everything herself. With Dad doing the errands as well. I'll always remember her famous fried chicken, pancit bihon, lumpiang shanghai and macaroni salad. I miss her so much.

It's just that I'm excited that Rye can have different themes and venues all through his life, well...up until I can still handle it and if he wants it. I've read One year old parties are really for the parents since the babies won't remember it, thank goodness for video and photo coverage so he can see it when he's old enough to appreciate it. Like when Ayla saw her 1st bday about 2 years ago. She was so amazed. And I want Rye to have that too.

Rye's baptism was kinda in a hurry since we thought G-anne would be going to the province earlier than expected. So I moved it to an earlier date. But everything fell into place. It was a fun time to be with the people I cherished the most.

This time it's going to be really organized and although his birthday falls on a Friday, I'm gonna make it a Saturday just so it's convenient to the oldies (haha!) who have work. I hope the kids will enjoy the party. And Rye too.

Summer is here!

On Ayla's birthday, we had a pool party in Alpha Grand View condo in Malate. Indoor and private (since we're the only ones there plus George the Greek kid) and we had a great time! It was also a cool coincidence that the noontime show S.O.P had live broadcast in Baywalk so there were sailboats in Manila Bay as part of the show.

The large pool was so cold so Rye couldn't stand it and opted for the jacuzzi instead.

Old Grand Architecture

Let me tell you how fascinated I am to be surrounded with grand old buildings. I used to live in Bel-Air Apartments, a pre-war relic and just across is Elk's Building which is now Museo Pambata and behind it is Luneta Hotel. Now I see the Post Office Building everyday, El Hogar, Regina Building, Calvo Bldg, Capitol Cinema House..so much history! I hope Rye can still see them when he grows up. I gotta save pix of them though. You know how crazy city officials are when it comes to restoration. I love how they hold so many memories. If these walls could talk..

This entry was inspired by what I'm currently reading online - Meine Lieben: Swiss Letters from the Philippines 1919 - 1927. It's based on letters by two Swiss expats here during that time. It's a glimpse of Manila in the 1900's. You can check it out at http://www.filipinaslibrary.org.ph/onlinebook/onlinebook.html I love it so much! History is really a favorite subject of mine. There is still a lot to learn. More secrets to uncover. More motives revealed. Stories untold. Never believe history books at face value as told by my college history professor. Thanks Dr. Dery.

On being sluggish

It's summer and I'm feeling the heat and the laziness of these days. Especially when I received texts from friends saying they're in some beach resort or just out of town. If green is the color of jealousy, what is the color of envy? Haha. And it doesn't help that I made a big booboo at work. Serious enough to merit an advisory on the website no less! My bosses are so kind. I don't think I deserve them. Though it's my first mistake here, I still feel weird about it. Incompetence has always been something I'm scared of committing.

I guess it's the routine. I'm so used to a life on the run. Like cutthroat dead or alive happenings in concerts or tv shows. In the corporate world, it's a verbal reprimand or a memo. And they do it ever so politely. I'm not sure how to react. But it's a wake up call for me. There's a phase in my job where I know the in's and out's already and I want a new challenge. I think here they want me to sell. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Sales. I'm gonna be a salesperson. Me, who took a summer job selling magazines but ended up getting the help of my mother (with oozing PR and God bless her wonderful soul) just to meet my quota. But now no one's gonna do the selling for me. I, who won't look people in the eye when I'm out in the streets and who won't greet people just for the heck of it..I need to ask a complete stranger to look at my product and convince him/her somehow to arrange for a meeting and then make follow ups. Arghhhhh...

I need a vacation! On my way to work, I'm near bus stations bound for provincial trips. I just wanted to hop in one of those and go away. Just for the day. With no luggage. No nothing. Just my everyday clothes and bag. And then I realized I have a son who will miss me..(I hope) and then I'm like, "Oh, I'm gonna save so I can bring Rye along"..

9 1/2

Rye at 9 1/2 months is quite a talker. He listens to every conversation and voices out his own baby babble. This week he's repeatedly saying "Ate", calling out to Ninang G, Ayla, KT and Teret...

When I was pregnant, I'd constantly create images in my head what he'll look like. And most of what I wanted --mop of curly hair, huge eyes, fair skin, my lips, soft hands, cute feet, dimples --he's got. I'd like to share his first Christmas, New Year and recent pix..

Bianca

I'm not sure I wanted Bianca Gonzales to be part of Celebrity Big Brother. It still boggles my mind why she joined the freak show in the first place. That is why I watch it. Just to see how she copes with the others. You see I came across Bianca's blog last year and instantly liked her. She was honest. In a refreshing kind of way. As a commercial model and tv host, she has spunk. I first saw her in the now defunct "Review Night" with Ryan Agoncillo.

I felt uncomfortable seeing her cry due to her Dad's grievances against her and telling the whole world how she felt insecure with the ex of her boyfriend. It just didn't feel right. Blogs were public enough but it is only a fraction to the millions who tune in every night to ABS CBN. I just felt she was violated. And for 1 million bucks? Not enough reason.

New family member

A new member of the family is due out this September (parang plug sa movie). My brother's domestic partner is pregnant. Oh, Riley's gonna be a Kuya. Come December, there will be 8 grandchildren who will surround Daddy Dad. Aww..cute.

I'm just glad I'm over the infancy stage. I'm happy with Riley being a baby. A big one who climbs stairs and bounces with Beyonce ;)

Jason and Tristan

on the music front, I love Jason Mraz. He's funny, cool and his lyrics are soo catchy. Try "Geek in the Pink". Anyhoo, I chanced upon his girlfriend Tristan Prettyman's song over Jam 88.3. and it's so cute..

Shy That Way
You know you’re stunning
You’re absolutely stunning
And I’m running always running
And now I’m crying
It’s only cause I’m caring
And if you were more daring
Maybe you’d stop staring
And come over and talk to me
Tell me bout how you’ve been waiting so patiently
And how you tried but I just turned away
And I’ll say yeah well you know,
I’m shy that way

Shy that way
Maybe I’m shy that way

Ohh you know you’re stunning
You’re absolutely stunning
But you’re always runnin
But I’ll catch up to you
The way you keep your distance is
Keeping my interest
So I’ll keep it persistent
Ohh maybe someday
Someway, somehow in some town
We’ll get together and
We’ll break it down
And I’ll ask why you’ve been
so shy, gotta be that way
Maybe baby, oh love, I like it that way

Shy that way
You know I love you so shy,
Shy that way

So keep it comin comin comin comin
Shy that way

There’s always too much talking
And I wanna just keep walking
But I keep staring baby
Keep staring
Though I may not know the right things to say
I’ll get it out to you one day

I’m shy that way
You’re shy that way
Do you like it
Do you like it?
When I’m shy this way?
Yes I like it
Yes I like it
When you’re shy

Shy that way

I like it
I like it shy
You know it’s alright, it’s ok
Cause we’re
Shy that way…

Jakey

Oh. Heart stop. Beating. I'm in love. Don't like Tom Cruise anymore. George Clooney is still gorgeous but...I'm so into Jake Gyllenhaal now. I first laid eyes on him in the film "Moonlighting" starring Susan Sarandon and Dustin Hoffman. He with his puppy look, sad, haunting eyes, shy smile plus an endearing story reeled me in completely. I cannot believe he was the "Bubble Boy", he looked malnourished in that film. Then there was "The Day After Tomorrow" which made him recognizable at last. Based on my research, he auditioned for "Moulin Rouge" and almost got to play "Spiderman 2" but those films weren't meant to be his.

Hooray for "Brokeback Mountain", he's nominated for Oscars' Best Supporting Actor so I need to watch it because it's the first award to be given away that night! I got to watch him on Oprah last night. He was so adorable. Kirsten Dunst is crazy to let him go. capital CRAZY.

Love Day

as usual, it's the season to be in love and to love..In my former job, I used to work during Valentine's kasi peak season for shows and concerts. Now, 2 years na kong walang raket pag V day.

My memorable valentine's day (s) happened not with significant others (weird) but with my bestfriend Thelms. We used to watch horror films during this day because we didn't want to cry our hearts out watching sappy films back in the day when we were pathetic singletons (duh..i still am). We also stalked Claire Danes in her hotel room via phone call when she was here (yup, those days when she said Manila is a filthy place filled with cockroaches) and sent "My So-called Life" lines to my crush via beeper (yuck, how revealing our age ha..)

It's my son's first Valentine's. Geez, gotta photo op..bye.

Red Shadow Events

www.redshadowevents.blogspot.com

I am from

I am from a woman with a generous heart, overflowing with love and compassion. She did everything for her family and became more than just a light – she became a beacon which illuminated our lives. She dances and sings through life’s hardships, forgave people of her bitter past, betrayals which made her a stronger person. She adopted everyone in her care and fought for those she fiercely loved. She made friends with anyone, for her no one is a rotten fruit. She passed away at a ripe age of 61, still lingers within us and through us. She continues to guide all our life’s precarious choices by way of dreams and songs.

I am from a man who has a silent and calm disposition. He has remained meek and humble and honest. He who stayed loyal in his career path, steady and kind. He has provided me with companionship, support and adoration all through my days. He has accepted life with simplicity and strived to fulfill his role as a great father. He without speaking, has taught me so much. He is always there. Resilient. Like an anchor. Like a rock.

I am from a group of 4 siblings, each one different, each one distinct. But always united. Fights life’s storms armed with laughter and prayer. Strength to strength. Walang iwanan.

I am from a house made of pre-war materials and filled with historical value. It was a community of fun and mystery, intrigue and national pride. Long live Bel-Air.

I am from a clan of educators and landlords, a mixture of North Luzon and Vizayas. Bagoong and dried fish. Of sea and mountains and vast lands.

I am from a school composed of beautiful girls pretending to be boys and run by nuns. Of hymns and great teachers which changed my life. Of classmates that became friends for life.

I am from a university of the elite, which ironically made me more “masa”. Of various types of media and cool professors. Of Dopeyz and standing up for who I am. Of knowing my talents and maximizing it. Of photography, video, tv production, journalism and filmmaking. It is watching silent black and white films for hours on end.

I am from a church which is now a shrine. A place where the oldest Marian image in the country resides. Of which I can sing with all my heart and serve God no matter what it takes. Of people whom I will forever cherish and friendships I will never forget.

I am from books and music and films and television. I get lost in them. I am from travels and adventure. I am from dreams and goals.

I am from career path littered with entertainment. Of singing and performing. Of television shows and research. Of scripts and press releases. Of promos and corporate communication. Of websites and internet. Of events and workshops. Of being part of a great company in the making.

I am from relationships obscure and exhilarating. Of facing everything against all odds. Without rhyme or reason. Without rules but all passion. All heart. Which breaks into a myriad of pieces. But lives for another day. And another and another…

I am from a person I named Riley Matthew. A source of joy, fulfillment and hope. A gift that overwhelms me still.

I am from a God I call Dayspring. The One who refreshes my soul. The One I long for. The reason for my being. The grace which saves me everyday. The One who loves me. The One who will take me home.

Chchchanges

1.You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself. (well, we both look in the mirror and make faces!)

2. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms. (my arms are getting toned due to the fact that he wants to be carried all the time now)

3. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid. (yes, I’m afraid to die early because I wouldn’t get to meet his girlfriend and be bitchy at her..hehehe)

4. You're less self-involved and more self-motivated. (I now have a purpose..to feed him at 3 a.m. and let him sleep in my arms)

5. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices. (what sacrifice? C section—chicken lang yan! And the bloated feet – foot spa lang katapat nyan..)

6. You respect your body ... finally. (Hooray for fast metabolism!)

7. You have stronger opinions and are stronger willed. (this is awesome)

8. You respect your parents and love them in a new way. (thanks Dad, lov ya Mom!)

9. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own. (ooh, making him drink meds..the worst)

10. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child. (Hooray for Santa!)

11. You lose touch with the people in your life that you should have banished years ago. (I don’t have time for such nonsense..I’d rather play with my son)

12. Your heart breaks much more easily. (And I cry easily too..just seeing a mother-child photo or film)

13. You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else. (he’s in my ringtone, my message alert tone, my desktop, my fon wallpaper)

14. Every day is a surprise. (Mama..Mmmmm)

15. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

16. You think before you speak. (this is true)

17. You become a morning person. (this is so amazing! I used to hate waking up early, but now he wakes up earlier than I do)

18. If you have a son, you no longer curse men. (Been trying to understand men)

19. If you have a daughter, you hope she won't endure your same heartaches.

20. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power. (Amen to that)

sick

Riley is sick with pneumonia and primary complex. Poor little baby. On the outside, he's fine compared to last week when he had fever and laryngitis. As usual, I'm researching on it. I've read and read its symptoms, treatment and prevention. I've never been seriously sick my whole life. The one time I've been hospitalized was when I gave birth. That's it. Now I feel so incapable of handling a sick child. But he drinks his milk like usual, he plays and sleeps soundly. I've complained to my bestfriend many times how I'm so dumb with the mommy stuff. Being a first time mom herself, she just seem to fit the role so well. Knowing what to do and how to do it. I don't. I'm clueless. But then I know God gave me Riley for a purpose. And He will equip me with the "mommy enzyme".

Things I said I'd never do when I became a parent but I did

The title came from the Blogging Baby site. I got inspired so I have my own version: (Well, to start I really didn't know I'd become a parent so everything is new to me)..
1. humming nursery rhymes at work or when Rye isn't with me. He loves the Barney songs and it's in my head all the time even if I just saw Lea Salonga in concert, though she also sang mommy songs coz she's pregnant!
2. holding a traditional baby bag. I told myself I'll have a cool leather diaper bag whenever I go out but alas, who can resist the cutey blue Peter Rabbit?
3. hospital visits. It's a must since Rye has monthly pedia visits, but it still gives me the creeps. Hospitals are like another dimension, never know when I'm gonna pass out..
4. wanting to go home asap. Now this is really foreign territory. The urgency to go home to my baby once work is done or even when it's meeting with friends..you wish they'd talk faster or cry sooner so you can console and be done and go home to Rye! (my friends don't mind naman..hehe)
5. saving and organizing and cleaning. save the best and hardest for last. Messy me trying to tuck and fold, scrub and wash, living on a budget. Could it be true? I don't recognize me anymore.

taste of Reese

Watching the Golden Globe Awards is like taking at a peek at the Oscars. It's like getting invited to an intimate dinner formal and you get to see celebs! Honestly, I love it more than the Oscars. It's very straightforward with none of the frills and delays. Loved George Clooney's speech "hey, this is early..haven't had a drink yet". Haha.

Who wouldn't even envy Reese that night? She's smart, has 2 beautiful children, Best Actress winner, has million dollar paychecks, she even sings (too much..too much) and has Ryan Philippe to go home to. &@#%$^* di ba...
I got to see her Oprah guesting where she spoke of her English teacher who made her appreciate reading. She seems like the real deal. Very consistent. She's not mega-beautiful but she is very attractive. The southern belle works out its charm.

starbucks conversations

I had a pre-celebration date with Thelmsky Diwata, Jenny Diyosa and Ellaine the Saint. It's been a long, long time since we've spent an evening like that. We had dinner, movie (Palanca winner "Blue Moon" since it's the Filmfest season) and stayed at Starbucks 6750. My top Starbucks outlets are:
1. 6750
2. Bayview Hotel
3. Greenbelt 1
4. Robinson's Place
5. Adriatico Malate
6. Glorietta 4

I always have the longest, most stimulating, interesting and controversial talks in this coffee chain. I'm not a real coffee person, I only order frappucino and last night I had Peppermint Mocha Frappe. After a year of not having any.. Ahh...the best. We stayed till the branch closed, that late tlga. Pix to follow. The smell, the ambiance, the soothing music, the comfy couch --worth the price. I'm open to try other coffee shops but nothing beats Starbucks.

a blessed 2006

Happy New Year! I love the first week of January. There's the crisp, clean smell of my new 2006 planner waiting to be filled out with my scribbles. There's the first Mass of the year. And then there's my birthday. But before I get all senti, I just want to say that I'm so at peace (or maybe just tired from spending the day at Enchanted..hehe) I slept through New Year's Eve. First time to zonk out amidst the noise and revelry.

Also, I realized I'm not an angry person. You know the type who will get a heart attack from storing so much resentment and bitterness. I maybe mad for a day or two and would really do everything I can to vent my anger but then I'll forget about it and move on. And I'm so pleased that I'm no longer a slave to my possessions. I used to hold on to all my stuff - papers, cards, letters, clothes, accessories. It was all clutter. Now I just have the things I need and will think thrice before buying something for myself. But the biggest surprise of all-- I'm more organized now.Clap clap! Thanks to Riley who is fast accumulating tons of stuff too. So more space for him.

Resolutions..I want to speak out more. I have a lot of ideas in my head but couldn't really voiced it out because I don't know...Sometimes people who talk too much just overwhelm me. And when I get my turn, I just don't have the energy anymore. I wanted to take up public speaking. Or do more hosting.

I need to be assertive. People seem to have an impression that I'm "nice". Meaning meek and kind. Nothing wrong with that really but I have to be firm to be a leader. Naks.

I need to trust my instincts. Being a Mom just freaks me out especially when Rye gets sick. I need to decide fast because I'm responsible for him. Gosh me, responsible.

"fast becoming a USB world"

Today I came to work and got a surprise gift from a techy company - a USB card reader. Yey! Although I don't know how to use it and vaguely had an idea what it does, it still thrills me no end. And then I surfed about it, and I got swallowed by PC terms. Well, being in a techy industry sure has its perks but I still have a lot to learn. So far, I'm maintaining 4 personal blogs and 1 corporate blog (although I rarely post on Friendster), I have Multiply where I post my pix, YM and MSN messenger, 4 emails and a Chikka account. Whew. Don't be misled, I am a hermit at heart.

post Christmas greeting

It's the Eve of Christmas and even on the day itself and I didn't have load! Darn autoload service got corrupted..So everyone was greeting me through text and I had no answer. Zilch. It was so frustrating. So I just binged on food. Really felt like we were Greek coz what we had for Noche Buena was all meat.

It's Rye's first Xmas ever and his eyes grew even bigger (if that's even possible) as midnight came and watched as his cousins opened presents. He chewed on his gifts and was delighted with all the lights and sounds. Will post pics soon.

Happy holidays! To a better year and a better life. Ahead.

Rye at 7 months

I was browsing through other people's blogs today, it just occurred to me that they make lists all the time. Well, one item I can cross out my list is having a kid. Yihaa. My son turns 7 months today!
1. my pogi-to
2. my morning perky little person
3. my curly-haired cherub
4. smelly feet baby
5. my naughty spitter (is there such a word? yeah, he spits on me when i change his diaper)
6. the one who calls me Momma, Mommy, Ma, Mmmm just recently
7. the cutest live pillow I ever had

I'm excited about 2006. .

engagement notices

Just this week, I learned 2 friends of mine got engaged. Leah, who's a barkada in highschool and Armi, my friend from Elim which I haven't seen in 10 years but was able to find thanks to Friendster. This late 20s stage marks a series of life-altering events - being engaged, getting married, giving birth, getting promoted etc. etc.

It's fun to know how brilliant God is in coming up with a myriad of blessings for each of us. It might surprise or overwhelm at first but then everything falls into place eventually. Some people go the straight path with nary a crease or dent (but with their share of challenges too) or scar, some people like me may experience crisscross, zigzag turning points - bottomline we are still loved, we should be grateful and we should celebrate..

This coming Christmas, sit still and breathe. Even for just a few minutes. Savor the here and now. Ain't life grand?

birthday trivia

It's a month (yesterday to be exact) to go before my birthday. Mag-plug ba? Hehe. Anyway, I was born with two special features: first, I am a menopause baby. Mama was 40 years old when she learned she was pregnant with me. Imagine her surprise and dismay because (second fact) she was taking Ativan at the time. Now, Ativan is a prescription drug which according to my research is and I quote:

"Ativan is in the FDA pregnancy category D. This means that Ativan is known to be harmful to an unborn baby. Do not take this medication without first talking to your doctor if you are pregnant or could become pregnant during treatment.

• Ativan passes into breast milk. Do not take Ativan without first talking to your doctor if you are breast-feeding a baby."

Wow. I'm a double freak! Ultrasound wasn't popular in 1978 and my parents thought I had physical deformities. My father didn't even want to go to the nursery for fear of seeing me with no hands or something. That's why Mama wasn't allowed to breastfeed me. Thank goodness, I'm physically sound although I may be weirder than usual. Wink. Wink.

serendipity or something like it

Brief background, I love the singing group The Company since they released their very first single, "Everlasting Love". I've seen how they changed their members and those insane outfits. My cassette tape copy of Recycle Deluxe got eaten by my player or maybe just succumbed to it due to numerous playbacks. They seem so down to earth, intelligent and great artists even if they're from Ateneo (no pun intended). Their songs were part of my Center for Pop days, me singing "Muntik na Kitang Minahal" and "Now that I have You" before the film made it baduy.

Anyhow, I never seen them perform live at all. Never did our paths cross in the 3 years I spent in the concert scene. And whenever they have a concert, I wanted to go but couldn't for some reason. Well, they celebrated 20 years with a huge concert 2 months ago at the CCP. At the last minute, I wanted to watch. Thelms offered to come with me. But alas, it was sold out a day before. Poor me.

Fast forward. Thelms got the great job of being editor in chief (congrats sis, you deserve it!) and of course, the power of free tickets and invites. For her first gig, she got (surprise, surprise serendipity moment) the Company!
Yey, we're gonna watch. I'm gonna buy their CD anthology album and I'm gonna have their autographs. Yes, I didn't even do the autograph ritual with artists I've worked with such as Regine, Martin etc. But with them, I'll gladly do it.

Yes, Christmas is near!

eleanor

Eleanor is the right spelling of a common name which means "light". I, however was named Elynor due to my parents' name mix, me and my siblings all have different variations. Anyhow, eversince the Beatles' "Eleanor Rigby", there's no name song for me until TODAY! Heard it over the radio, it's not cheesy at all. It's alternative and cool, got the lyrics immediately and here it is:

Eleanor
sung by Low Millions

Fine, I understand, okay with me, if that's the plan.
You can take the stereo, the TV and the video
the bed the sheets and pillows, before you go.
But for now, unlock the door, what are we doin' all this for?

Let me make you dinner one last time,
then you'll go your way, and I'll go mine.
And I won't call you baby, anymore,won't call you baby,
like I did before,won't call you baby, anymore, Eleanor.

You left your smell, you left your taste,you left me here with my mistakes.
And I can't relate to what you say I've done,but just for you, I'll bite my tongue.
And I won't call you baby, anymore,won't call you baby
like I did before,won't call you baby, anymore, Eleanor.
Eleanor I miss you, Eleanor be well
Eleanor I wish you'd release me from your spell.

well, if you know me...you'd know this is soo apt. Zip lips now.

Rye as Justin Timberlake

Ok, when Rye wears this fisherman hat, he always reminds me of Justin Curly Haired Timberlake. So, here are the recent pix of Romina and Rye at 6 months. Romina is my bestfriend's daughter and as early as now, they are officially bestfriends too (whether they like it or not in the future doesn't really matter).

weeeeeh!

I'm at the end of the rainbow, there are no leprechauns...only pots and pots of gold a.k.a. blessings.

Watch me soar!

Feels Like Christmas

Today I woke up knowing Christmas is just around the corner...the cool air, the fruits in season, the decors and carols, and the all-around cheer you feel as it nears..great anticipation.

More good news, it's my last Saturday at work today. It means more bonding time with my little one. I can have my weekend again! Well, hello getaways and out of town trips and malling. Gosh, it's good to get my Saturday back. It has always been my favorite day as well as lazy Sunday afternoons.

The past months were a blur, probably because I was busy with work, with rakets, with O' Riley, with getting enough sleep. Life's finer points is catching up with me. God absolutely rocks!

photo galore

Exactly today last year, I first found out about Rye. He's gonna be 6 months this Saturday. He can sit alone now and soo likot and soo taba. I'm thankful. I'm happy, beaming and proud.

So, because I'm in a good mood, let me share with you my site of pix, http://duchessnette.multiply.com

My life is such an open book right now, I'm actually amazed. And I don't think I'm gonna be stalker material because I used to do the stalking. Oh and please, been there.. done that. I'm a Mom now. I'm just beginning to grow up. hehe

I'm a fan of LEA SALONGA

Yes, there are only two Filipinos that I admire to the core of my being, Lea Salonga and Mikee Cojuangco. But I would like to write about Lea today. At 13 years old, I remember watching my recorded Betamax (geez, yes I'm old) copy of "A Miss Called Lea" over and over again, till I knew all the lyrics of her repertoire. My love for musical theater had just erupted and she was and is my only idol.

After that, I just got hooked watching her on tv and reading about her world domination. Then in 2001, I met her! As production assistant /floor manager for a fundraising show at the Meralco Theater, I was for the first time in my life, immobile at the sight of another human being. We had our picture taken (too bad the copy is still with my cousin Win) and I'm on top of the world.

After that, I saw her perform live at "They're Playing Our Song" and "Miss Saigon" Manila run. And scraped my hard-earned peso to see her CCP shows.

Now, she's pregnant and glowing and took Carnegie Hall by storm. Check out the review in this link:http://www.playbill.com/news/article/96193.html

Oh, I just love her.

The Godfathers and the Godmothers

From left: Mama Sansu the OC, G-Anne Buding, Claudy the Prof, Thelma Huge and Kay a.ka. Daphne Osena




From left: Wilben the Voice, Win Ziggy, David the Late, Rap Hurray and Ramil the Funk.

The Christening

Domini Santi Et Fili Espiriti Santi...Amen

Dopeyz Dinner Reunion

Once upon a time in college, 6 individuals found themselves together by some force they couldn't quite explain (try love for the arts or weirdo behavior). They are the following people:

Anne - poised, gothic chic, poet, graphic artist, copywriter, classy

Arjhay - craft guru, cooking angel, pre-school teacher, philosophical, our on cam girl

Lynette - PR girl kuno, mtv singer, showbiz sponge, the only mommy so far in the group, youngest UN-minor

Claudy - terror sweet professor, finesse, kind and uber-reliable, romantic princess

Heintje - master photographer/editor, gay magnet, gentle giant, tae kwon do jin

Wilben - writer/critic, the Voice, family businessman, ever ready daig pa ang boy scout

Last night, off we went to Aveneto for some pizza, pasta and lots of laughter. Yes, we were the loudest group cramped in such a small space and just having a great time. It's amazing to think that after more than a decade, we're still the same rowdy bunch. Slow pa rin yung isa ("di ko magetz!"), may tripod for the picture taking (happy birthday NOT), may mga new jokes, ex jokes (nasan na si *tootoot*) at sangkatutak na hirit.

If only we can get together more often. I miss these people so much. Best of all, they met Rye. He got overwhelmed. Siguro if he could talk na, he'll ask why Mommy's friends are soo LOUD and noisy. Hehe.

100 Best Novels

Time Magazine featured the top 100 Best Novels in this link http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html

Shame on me for not reading "Catcher in the Rye" yet. And most of it for that matter. But I'm glad "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" is part of it. Got a copy at Market! Market! for only P9.00! Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you and it's not a typo error. It was in a stock pile and I saw the cover. I thought this would be a good book for Riley, I'm gonna do the storytelling ritual with him kasi. So, there. Gotta expose him to books.

John Paul 2 We love you!

The recent World Youth Day celebrations in Cologne, Germany was extra special because Yen went there. One of my girlfriends went to Europe already! Wahh..so inggit. Hehe. Anyway, she shared with me her pix of Rome, Verona, Cologne and another German town. It was great.

There's this website dedicated to making a picture mosaic for John Paul II. It's composed of millions of pictures around the world. I'm so happy that Riley is part of it. He's on the right arm of the Pope. Cool di ba?!

Check it out http://www.thank-you-jpii.net/mosaic/mosaik.asp?tile=04349c8e06c91f&static=1

I sent my pix too but I haven't received a confirmation yet. Hmm..I love JPII so much. World Youth Day in Manila was one of the best experiences I've had as a Catholic.

caffeine fix

ok, word of the wise. never ever attempt to drink 2 straight cupfuls of strong brewed coffee after not having any for a year. after i found out i was pregnant, i couldn't take anymore frappe or any coffee concoction, it being bad for the baby. anyway, it shocked my system that even at 3 am when i was finally ready to retire after a serious writing session, my eyes were so alert and my heart was beating faster than usual. i thought i was gonna have an episode! but anyway, i missed the taste, bitter and sweet on the tongue and the smell just before you take a sip. hmm.. Until today, I'm still in hyper mode.

Yesterday, Riley discovered his toes. Aww..cute. I love how he holds his foot but he has not yet learned how to put it in his mouth. Love to take that picture. He eats cereals like it's going to be out of stock tomorrow. This kid do not have any feeding issues whatsoever. I also love how he blurts out weird vowel-consonant combinations.

of songs and myoozik

I love Jason Mraz's "Wordplay" song ang Aqualung's "Brighter than Sunshine". Once i've heard a particular song on the radio and the music or lyrics seem to get stuck in my brain, then that's a must have for me. I also have a knack of knowing if a song in an album would be a hit or not. So, yes I'm a frustrated critic. That goes for films and tv shows too. That's why I always read Nestor Torre's column on PDI.

Another favorite is Usher. This guy is an utter genius. Raised by a single mother pa. Very humble and his website is cool. I also like Craig David and Alicia Keys. And Destiny's "Cater to You" is so nice. I like complicated lyrics. I like the thrill of listening to the ups and downs of a melody.

I want to be a back-up singer. They are way cooler than the main acts. And they remain anonymous. But they get respect and lots of shows. They are so in demand that during live concerts' peak season, pinag-aagawan sila talaga.

being a better parent

i was browsing through parenting sites and saw this page: http://www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3096.jsp

I agree with all of it. Especially the hanging out together part. I remember my childhood filled with just being with Dad or Mama, listening to my siblings' stories and eating a lot. It was truly a nurturing time, we had so much fun.
I still have to decide if I'm gonna be a strict Mom or just laid back. Or both. What I do know is I'm enjoying being a Mom now. Contrary to my expectations. Hehe. I used to worry a lot if I'm gonna be miserable once I have all the responsibility. But here I am with a more positive perspective, just thanking God for blessing me with a child like him. He makes me want to do cartwheels and trapeze acts..yep, that's how great I'm feeling!

I love how he laughs at everything I say or do. And likewise. We are so in synch. And I love the way he snuggles on my shoulder. Perfect fit. And when I feed him cereals, even his nose, cheeks and neck have their share of food. And when I give him vitamins, he spits it or gargles it.

Don't you just hate it how mothers never seem to get tired of talking about their children? And how they get OA with every little achievement? And how they think their child is the best gift from God? Yes, I know and I'm sorry. I have become that Mom.

same, same

it's a slow saturday so indulge me with a trivial entry. Two of my favorite female actors, Diane Lane and Kate Hudson share a connection with me somehow (ipilit ba?). Diane's daughter is named Eleanor (mine has a different spelling though) and Kate's son's birthday is on January 7 too. It's really mababaw but I love having something in common with these women. They're just so classy and oozing with sex appeal. Meoow Rrrrr..

tv rants and raves

although i don't spend as much time watching television nowadays, i still stumbled upon the initial episode of the Amazing Race Family Edition. They're now more focused on the American destinations and historical places. And what chaos it produced when 40 people compete for airtime and camera views plus of course the coveted cool million prize. But it's also more exciting, with kids, parents, siblings bickering and laughing together.

The Xtra Challenge show with Maui Taylor saying P5k is nothing to her is such a controversial primetime quote. For her who gets money by showing her ass, boob job and everything else, it's such a pitiful thing to say. For us poor mortals who earn every cent with our clothes on, P5k is A LOT. So. I admire Joyce for her composure. If I were in her shoes, I could've punch Maui's already tomato nose into pulp bits. Oops sorry.

I'm semi-hooked to Pinoy Big Brother. I know their names, eager to see who's going to be eliminated next and singing the song in my subconcious. But since they moved it to a later timeslot, I couldn't watch it anymore since I'm sleepy already. Time to hit the sack with my precocious little tyke.

Oh and I'm obssessing about watching the Company's 20th anniversary concert at the CCP but too bad it's sold out na. SAyang. And i want to see "Dubai", I never pass up an Aga Muhlach film. He's just too yummy.

This made me teary-eyed

Read a really heart-tugging article from ivillage.com. Here it is..sob sob sob..

A Homage to Mothers

"This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up spit-up laced with hot dogs, birthday cake, and fruit juice saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here."
Who have walked around the house all night with their babies when they kept crying and wouldn't stop.
This is for all the mothers who have shown up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who have run carpools and made dozens of cookies for school teas and sewn Halloween costumes.
And all the mothers who haven't because they are at work trying to earn enough to keep on top of the bills.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see.
And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes and all their love.
This is for all the mothers who have sat on cold metal bleachers at hockey, baseball or soccer games instead of watching from their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and meant it
This is for all the mothers who have yelled at their kids in the grocery store and swatted them in despair when they stomped their feet, like a tired two-year-old does who wants ice cream before dinner, and then hated themselves for "losing" it.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children to explain all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.
For all the mothers who read Goodnight, Moon twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who taught their sons to cook and sew and their daughters to be brave and strong. (And sink a jump shot.)
This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home or grown up.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just fine once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away. And they do.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, and who can't find the words to reach them.
For all the mothers who bite their lips, sometimes until they bleed, when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.
What makes a good Mother anyway?Is it patience?Compassion?Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?
Or is it the heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?
Or the terror in your heart at 1 a.m. when your teenager with the new driver's license is an hour late getting home?
The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 a.m. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
Or to feel the dull ache as you look in on your sleeping daughter or son the night before they leave for a college in another city?
The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
For all the mothers of the victims of all the school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.
This is for mothers who have tearfully placed flowers and teddy bears on their children's graves. Whose children have died from illness, accidents and the worst of all and hardest to comprehend, suicides.
This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation.
And mature mothers who have learned and are still learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Grandmothers whose wisdom and love remains a constant for their grown children and their children's children.
Please pass this to a wonderful mother you know. (I just did.)"

Riley milestone

Riley rolled over for the first time last September 13 and he's now 5.95 kilograms.

Thelms told me to check her email today. She saved a survey email from me dated March 26, 2003. And Lo and Behold I found this entry:

NAME OF FUTURE CHILD? --> boy- Riley girl - Lexie Maeve

I forgot how 2 years ago I already thought of Riley as my boy's name. Weird. Must be the anaesthesia. Or it must be fate.

aneurysm and other diseases

Albert Einstein died of aneurysm. it has special significance to me because my Mama died of that too. I've never heard of this disease up until Mama was in the hospital already, right after passing out and going into coma. A deadly combination of hypertension, diabetes and a lethal too much of something diet will make you a likely candidate for aneurysm.

Riley has colds for days now. Poor thing. Last night, he slept the entire time without having his mimilk. He got stressed out over his vaccination. First bouts of physical pain. Ouch.

favorite quotes for today

"The juice would definitely be worth the squeeze."

"Improving your mornings can do wonders for your afternoons."

I was browsing some sites and got inspired with these quotes. Cute.

It's Riley's immunization day again. He is so cool in the mornings. He smiles right after waking up. Definitely not from me. That's why my mornings are better now because of his attitude. So he influenced me big time on that one. Hehe.

something from e-mode

lynette, your signature color is Aqua Paradise

You're one-of-a-kind, that's for sure. A unique individual like you will make her mark with a bold, eye-catching color that's not afraid to be noticed. That's why we're pairing you up with Aqua Paradise. Your friends may sometimes question your choices in everything from what you wear to who you date, but they are likely to admire your willingness to experience all that life has to offer. In fact, it wouldn't surprise us if your experimental nature has helped you become ultra-secure in yourself — and that's a great way to be. You've also probably got a creative way of looking at the world that gives you a unique approach to solving problems, at home and at work. And your offbeat opinions and adventurous spirit likely make you a compelling character to pal around with. So keep it up, Aqua, and never give up on whatever paradise you seek!

circa 90's

Just had a phone conversation with my bestfriend Mommy Thelms. We we reminiscing our era of the 1990's, the songs, the shows. Memories of highschool, endless daydreaming, watching tv, reading romance novels and journal writing. Friday nights laughing with Doogie and bestfriend Vinnie and learning about life as he writes on his online journal (PC na wow). And getting kilig over the whole cast of BevHills 90210. Brandon Walsh..wahh..

Dream Rooms

There's this really great site called www.potterybarnkids.com sobrang cool ng mga stuff for kids. And these are my favorites..Love all the colors.

Happy Bday G~!

It's G-Anne's 20th birthday last August 24. I'd like to thank her
for taking care of Rye and me during those early months. A true
Tita Ninang.

Old Manila and its charms

I have a new hobby, well, it sort of been happening for awhile now but didn't realized it till today. I'm collecting articles, photos and trivia of Old Manila. I get it from Philippine Star's City Sense columnist Paulo Alcazaren, Carlos Celdran and Lakbay Pilipinas yahoo groups. I just want to keep it. I dunno why. Maybe something to share with Riley when he's older. Or for me when I'm old and wanted to reminisce about Manila: Ermita, Malate, Intramuros, Binondo, Pasay, Taft..all these places where I've stayed for years and years. My footprints littered its streets.

Recently, I've been to U.N. The old Burger King across Mcdo is now Shakey's. Wala lang, it's sad when new structures replaced the ones I have memories with. Sniff. Sniff.

motherhood

sabi ni Ben I should post some Mommy stuff, so here goes..hehe.

Being Mommy means:
-forgetting uninterrupted sleep
-buying milk and diapers instead of all my "luho"
-going home straight after work (no more "hmm, where do I go tonight?")
-waking up in the morning and being grateful for this little person beside me
-doing the baby babble - Oh Riley, Abatootoot Bananaks, coochi coochi coo
-managing my time well (now that IS tough)
-staring at my kiddo while he's fast asleep
-making dutdut kalikot his ears, nose, feet, hair (yucky cradle cap) for some thorough cleaning
-having a picture of my baby on my fon, in my MSN messenger, on my PC
-Burping is a breakthrough
-seeing a smile from my son makes me sane especially when I want to declare war with the world (wahh)
-i make effort to be kinder, gentler coz I don't want Riley to visit me in jail!
-I now understand my parents, especially why my Mom was strict with me
-being dazed with joy everyday knowing I have a son

My dream boy!

Can't get enuf

Riley - Irish term for "strong"
Matthew - "gift from God"

I think he's living up to his name! This kid wants to grow up and fast. I hope he's tall. I can't wait to know what his talents are. I want to hear his voice. I'm excited to hear his laugh.

My Batootoot Anakish

Here is my son, my precious son...

Oh Riley

Hey Arj, even I can’t believe I’m a Mom already. I had an emergency CS operation coz my pelvic bones are small, Rye’s heartbeat was going down and his umbilical cord was tied around his neck. It’s great that my OB and her husband anaesthesiologist helped me throughout the delivery. And I have pictures of Rye in the E.R. immediately after he came out. May 19, 4:31 pm. 5’5 lbs 4.2 cm. Those were his stats. His birthday coincides with the Star Wars world premiere. Hehe. Comedy nga birth story nya eh na may halong drama. I'll post his pix soon.

Belair History

Last year, I bid goodbye to a place I called home for 26 years. It's a national treasure, a rare work of art right in the heart of Manila. It's called Belair Apartments. Formerly known as Boulevard Alhambra Apartments and designed by National Artist Pablo Antonio. I knew of this trivia from Carlos Celdran and his blog - celdratours.blogspot.com. It was able to withstand WWII and earthquakes. I saw how this place evolved --from a domestic haven to a busy commercial hub. Gone were the days when I knew the faces of each tenant and the floor they occupy. I spent my childhood aware of every major rally and national event by glancing from the windows and balconies of Belair, overlooking Luneta Grandstand and Manila Bay. It was the best.

Even before all these condo units came around, there was Belair. And it still stands, mighty and proud.

a mom at last

i'm back at work completely changed. Well, for starters I'm a Momma to a beautiful curly-haired baby boy named Riley Matthew. It's been 2 months of roller-coaster emotions. All intense full-speed ahead ones..He's amazing. He now smiles at me and makes his first sounds. And he's so chubby! Best of all, he looks at me with adoring big brown eyes, pouts and puckers his full lips and pushes me with his strong hands. The best smell in the world for me now is his feet, baby smelly feet. This 4 kilo miracle is now the center of my existence second to God. He sleeps better now. He eats more and doesn't fuss around that much anymore. He doesn't cry, he whines and whimpers..too cute for words.

I'm still amazed everyday that I have this kid to have and to hold, unlimited hugs and kisses, that's why babies are called "bundles of joy". It's so true. I've never been lucky with men but this time around, i think i've got the MAN.

Brownie points

I thought I was stacking up on my brownie points, you know that infamous scene in "Notting Hill" where the most pathetic story gets the last browny. But then each day, I feel just so protected and blessed. So now I don't feel so gloomy. In fact, I realized how many real friends I have out there. And they always pick the right time to call or to text. And God always sends the appropriate friend to be there for me. And I think I might do the baby shower thing even on a budget. It feels good just to be surrounded with people who truly care for you, well, the two of us.

Collide Song

I was listening to 88.3 and this beautiful song just swept me away one morning. I loved the words, "even the best fall down sometimes" wala lang. it's a cool song, you should hear it.

Howie Day - Collide Lyrics

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

nuts about Ewan

last night i caught an interview with Ewan McGregor by Jules Asner. It was the first time I've listened to him in a long interview and he's just great. Very smart, it was a very interesting talk. He values his family and he has a passion for motorbikes. He's so galing in his films. And he's not afraid to star in small-budgeted films because he says success is not gauged only on box-office success. Loved him!

I also started a scrapbook for Riley (boy or girl, that's the name). Thanks to Papemelroti's new line of products. That's my project for now. Ultrasound pix, doctors' notes and stuff. Gotta have my picture taken too. Geez, my pix are still with JJ's digital cam in the States. Gotta stack up on the memories. Don't know if I'll ever be in the "interesting stage" again. Wahaha. Never say never, Polyester.

I'm testing my budgeting skills (if that's even the term) since I have to handle all the bills and the confusing cheque account for the house payment. Ohh, this week was truly stressful. Thank God for friends who know Banking and math.

I'm sad that my Lolo died. I wasn't able to see him last year. But I know he understood. And that the Pope is dying. The man just swept me away when he went here 10 years ago. But I hope the Church goes for major changes once the newly-elected Pope starts his term. Good changes, in tune with the modern times.