Brownie points

I thought I was stacking up on my brownie points, you know that infamous scene in "Notting Hill" where the most pathetic story gets the last browny. But then each day, I feel just so protected and blessed. So now I don't feel so gloomy. In fact, I realized how many real friends I have out there. And they always pick the right time to call or to text. And God always sends the appropriate friend to be there for me. And I think I might do the baby shower thing even on a budget. It feels good just to be surrounded with people who truly care for you, well, the two of us.

Collide Song

I was listening to 88.3 and this beautiful song just swept me away one morning. I loved the words, "even the best fall down sometimes" wala lang. it's a cool song, you should hear it.

Howie Day - Collide Lyrics

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

nuts about Ewan

last night i caught an interview with Ewan McGregor by Jules Asner. It was the first time I've listened to him in a long interview and he's just great. Very smart, it was a very interesting talk. He values his family and he has a passion for motorbikes. He's so galing in his films. And he's not afraid to star in small-budgeted films because he says success is not gauged only on box-office success. Loved him!

I also started a scrapbook for Riley (boy or girl, that's the name). Thanks to Papemelroti's new line of products. That's my project for now. Ultrasound pix, doctors' notes and stuff. Gotta have my picture taken too. Geez, my pix are still with JJ's digital cam in the States. Gotta stack up on the memories. Don't know if I'll ever be in the "interesting stage" again. Wahaha. Never say never, Polyester.

I'm testing my budgeting skills (if that's even the term) since I have to handle all the bills and the confusing cheque account for the house payment. Ohh, this week was truly stressful. Thank God for friends who know Banking and math.

I'm sad that my Lolo died. I wasn't able to see him last year. But I know he understood. And that the Pope is dying. The man just swept me away when he went here 10 years ago. But I hope the Church goes for major changes once the newly-elected Pope starts his term. Good changes, in tune with the modern times.

Memory Freak

i'm cramming to put as many memories as I can remember for a time capsule. para sa 18th bday nya hehe. That includes a letter I've made. And clippings and photos. Gotta hurry. Dami ko pang projects lined up eh. I just hope i could do everything before i get busy with the arrival. I'm like this because I didn't have many pictures when i was a baby. I don't want to miss out on this one. Dapat well-documented and geez, i really have to organize (soo hard)! Gotta stack rolls of film and boxes for the mementos. These are the only treasures I can share. I hope ma-appreciate when the time comes.

My own I Like List

Just saw a cute book/website called "The Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life" www.encyclopediaofanordinarylife.com and got inspired. Here's my own version of I Like. I'd like to indulge in this because it's Saturday and I'm at work and because I'm missing someone pretty bad.

I liked that he taught me how to use the sharp, pointy part in an ointment cap: to open the darn thing
I liked that he showed me I had a lipstick mirror in my handbag, which I never bothered to open
I liked that we sit next to each other instead of across the table
I liked it when he closes his eyes during an argument, as if it was THE expression of exasperation
I liked how he doesn't show his teeth when he poses for a picture
I liked it when he doesn't want me in the kitchen when he cooks: I pester him kasi
I liked it when he gets awakened by his own loud snoring and sees me laughing at him
I liked that he text when he's in a bookstore to ask if I already got a copy of a fave author's book
I liked that he finishes all my left-overs even if he's so stuffed already
I liked how he watches tv: with brows knitted together
I liked that he invents a language only he understands
I liked how he stands outside the door, in a model pose
I liked that he smells good all the time. Sans perfume.

The one thing I didn't like was not saying goodbye face to face or in his case, eye to eye.

Gilmore Girls & Gratitude

Gilmore Girls is back for a whole new season as well as Alias and One Tree Hill. Yihaa.. I can definitely relate with Lorelai now. I mean I think I'll be that kind of mom - weird, crazy, cool. Hopefully. It's so much fun watching their characters evolved and communicate well. Last Saturday, they were in the same exact situation but they couldn't find each other and both didn't know what was happening with the other. Sigh. Wished I were a little psychic and just know how people are doing especially when they're in so much pain. Instead I'm more psycho. Aww.

Highlight of my day - a printer installed in my work area. I don't know why I'm happy with this seemingly no biggie. Well, little things make me happy nowadays. It's something I need to do to make it thru everyday. I'm thinking of a gratitude blog starting today. I'm grateful for our kasambahay, that's the appropriate Tagalog word for househelp. All the veggies she's preparing and just the thought that there's someone who will help you when you need it is a huge lift. For my worry-free commute in the mornings thanks to Yen. For a wonderful doctor who can be mistaken for a shrink too. She's just soo pleasant. For moonlight every night in my window. I mean if you knew where I used to live, this is really A MIRACLE. And of course, the heartbeat of my baby when I woke up this morning. Nothing beats that. Thank You Lord.

hide and seek

it didn't want to reveal itself. it refused to budge. but was waving and moving. til next time.

checked out YM and old memories came surging back. i was like the crying emoticon.

the good part of me tells me to shut up. the bad side well..will remain hidden.

a relationship's postmortem

I just can't resist writing about this. And so it was a thousand days of myth and realism. I wouldn't have it any other way. I've always said my life's banner would be "No Regrets" which is more romantic as opposed to "Tried but Died". It was the kind of thing you only experienced once and then you go about it inside your head when you're old and feeling abandoned, trying to recapture every detail in an effort to be alive once more.

People no matter how much you care for them, end up leaving. You lose them to death, to career, to other people, to vice, to foreign lands and different life goals. So if they're still with you, hang on to their every word and action because they will be gone...soon.

It's a sad fact. But the good news is you get to store each person's memory in your head. Or in your heart. Or in any body part you wish for them to linger (Oopsy..). And you pray really hard that when the rains of life come, these people will continue to inspire you, urging you to fight and emerged victorious in the end.

touche

And so it has come to this...again. I really can't complain. This is a life-altering moment and do I know it? YEAH. This will test my grit, my stamina, heck everything. But contrary to public expectation, I will rise to the occasion. You'll see. Just you wait. This is the kind of stuff I was destined to fulfill. Bring it on.

I maybe scared, confused and dazed at this point but I'm human. Give me some time. After all, it was a thousand days of bliss. I'm just enduring 3 weeks of woe.

seduce the duke

Your Seduction Style: The Dandy

You're a non-traditionalist, not limited by gender roles or expectations.Your sexuality is more fluid than that - and you defy labels or categories.It's hard to pin you down, and that's what's fascinating about you.You have the psychology of both a male and a female, and you can relate to anyone.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/seducerquiz/">What Is Your Seduction Style?

A Prophet Soul

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Ta Met!!!

Jocelle Anne calls me "'Ta Met!" Last night, we were singing our lungs out in the videoke. Then I had a wonderful conversation with JJ and Jom about speaking English here and knowing Tagalog and how kids are mean here. It was one of those moments where you just want to stretch forever. But we were all sleepy already and it was great to end the night like that. And I savor being with Ate and having breakfast, lunch and dinner with her and just laughing together. And Jocelle's big eyes staring at me in wonder as I sang "Part of your world". You see, she's Ariel and she prefers to be called "Mermaid" than just her Mom's "Pumpkin".

Oh boy, this month flew by so quickly I didn't even realized I cut my hair tomboy short. And some pretty huge changes too. Anyhow, I look forward to coming home and just bond with the Cendanas. Especially Jocelle. The maldita kid who just makes me feel good about life.

2004 reasons to be grateful

2004 was just amazing, surprising, goodness--it's dumbfounding!

Kupal Krismas

Nais ko kayong lahat batiin "Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon"!Di ko alam ibig sabihin ng "manigo" pero malamang ok yun. Huwag kalimutang magpasalamat sa lahat ng mga natanggap na biyaya sa lilipas na taon. Ipagdasal ang mga yumao, ang mga nalulungkot at mga tuliro sa utak at sa puso.Yakapin at sabihing minamahal mo ang mga taong malapit sa yong puso, sa iyong pamilya na tinanggap ka ng lubos mabuti man o masama ang iyong nagawa, sa iyong mga kaibigan na umunawa at nagtimpi sa yong mga walang katuturang pag-aalala sa buhay, sa iyong minamahal o mga minamahal..labas na kami dun. Sa mga ka-opisinang nagtiwala kahit na minsan topakin ka sa trabaho. At higit sa lahat sa Poong Maykapal na binigay ang lahat pati ang sariling Anak para lamang sa kupal na katulad natin. Amen.

18 days to go before Xmas

so this is going to be a really busy month. there's the choir xmas party, the company xmas party, the moving, ate arrival..busy beezee..good news is that i'm out of my dark mode. snapped out of it. goodbye uncle scrooge. i intend to have a great holiday season this year because i'm so much blessed. and it's coming along fine. a Bible verse just came to me "His grace is sufficient for me." I mean as my bestfriend said, the past weeks i've been trying desperately trying to be superwoman, doing everything at once. and that's really stressful.not to mention chaotic on my part. i acknowledged that i need help from people. that i can't do it alone. that people indeed care a whole lot. and it comes in droves, in spurts through text, one on one meetings. i am surrounded with the best kind of people..those who are kind and who understand. come what may.

24 days til Christmas

so the whole of November was a blur, busy with the house, busy with family concerns, busy with the unexpected surprise that is..shh..and so now I'm still in a dazed state. About to move to this new environs and yet getting sad at the thought of leaving my comfort zone which is bel-air. Last Sunday it dawned on me. There is no going back. And then sadness just swept me away.

My mood shifts like a blink of an eye. Rapid and erratic all at once. And it's making me insane. More insanity coming up in the next months. Don't miss it.

I'm exhausted, emotionally, physically. I just want to sleep for a week. And then wake up like none of this happened. Haha.

So i'm partly done with my x-mas shopping. check. The whole of Sunday we braved the mall sale and found some great finds. Please understand i'm getting semi-o.c. these days. Must be the influence of my boss. i'm about to embark on my first house move so i must get ready to pack. Oh, the travails of letting go of the environs I've grown up with. But then the people are the ones I truly missed. And they have gone ahead too.

Last night I was laughing so hard over Adam Brody's character Seth in the O.C. He was hilarious. He was soo cute. He's even better than the male lead. Most of all, he gets the best lines in the series. I'm also crazy about One Tree Hill. Oh, and the best news is that Studio 23's bringing back Gilmore Girls this November. Yey!

this is Escolta in the 1800s. isn't it amazing to be in a place where so much life and history has happened? 

under the weather

so it was an extended down time for me. which completely weirded me out because usually in 1 or 2 days i'm back in my usual jolly mode. but this one took me weeks. on the outside, nothing's wrong with me. i've been with friends, with people that matter, i'm ok with work, church service. so i ought to be fine. NO.

inside i was a mess. when i'm alone or about to sleep or wake up, i just couldn't muster enough strength to get up or continue on. i mean believe me when i tell you i must have known what sleeping beauty felt. up until now, i don't know why it was like that. probably the lull in my sked, the routine and the all-together nothing really eventful happening with me. the excitement of moving spiralled in my head for quite a while and then i began to feel indifferent about it since the process took long to materialize finally. everything is like jampacked in december.

so when the earthquake happened, at least blood was rushing thru my veins. i mean i was that desperate for something, anything exciting to happen. i was cranky, negative and a total waste of time to people around me. so there.

do you know how odd it is to go to the mall and not find anything to buy for xmas gifts? not one single item? even for myself? am i crazy? di ba shopping is the remedy for depression among women? arrgghh..

now, i think i'm getting my groove back. i wish.

and the earth shook

So i was about to drift to la la land last night when the earth trembled. And it was longer than the last time which was about a month ago. I thought i was just groggy when suddenly even the wallclock was swaying. Good thing i wasn't the panicky type. When you live in a 70 yr old building, it is scary. But then i couldn't find my slippers, so we just stayed where we were. That's how anti-social or stupid our family were har har har..but turns out it was just that one time. I remembered the "Relativity" episode where Isabel and Leo were doing it and there was an earthquake, understably so because they were in L.A. They thought they caused the earth to move. whoa!

Kudos to CNN. they reported it first. The local networks suck!