October survey

Name: A mix of my parents' names

Age: will always be a tween

What are you passionate about: Jesus, Films, music, books, writing

Most played songs: Hill Song and Corinne Bailey Rae

Heroine / Hero: My sister / My Dad

Best quality about me: I'm determined

The worst: I get distracted

Do you have direction? Yes..surreal nga lang

Last semi-sensible purchase: tokong as pambahay - could be used as jogging pants

If you could buy one thing right now it would be: Little Tyke slide for rye

Beach or mountains: Beach. Lap it up!

Sport: a little bit of badminton, pacute swimming, some basketball, table tennis

Movie that makes me cry: mother-daughter scenes with susan sarandon. And also the "stepmom" scene where julia roberts and susan talked about being the past and future of their daughter..oh oh..pass the towel please!

Apart from what you're doing now, what would be your dream job: It would Samantha Brown's show on Travel and Living..touring Europe for free!

Temptation you have successfully avoided thus far: compulsive shopping

Temptation you have succumbed to recently: junk food feast

The one thing you can never be: basta anything that needs immediate counting like being a cashier, a toll person..puro abono ako!

The one thing you strive to be: more patient

The one thing you struggle with the most: angry outburst

The most beautiful woman you've ever seen: My mom.

The best thing your mom taught you: Kindness

The best thing your dad taught you: Integrity

The thing you surprisingly enjoy doing: clipping kids' fingernails

What turns you on: witty, God fearing, cowboy

What turns you off: rude, mayabang, bad breath

Most pointless thing a girl can buy: useless treatments like pouty lips, breast enhancements... self esteem can never be bought!

Best thing a girl can buy: moisturizer and tweezer, plus sexy nail polish

Favorite sound: my son's laughter, shriek of joy, the way he calls me "mum" with a british accent to boot (malay ko kung san nya nakuha)

Worst sound: loud snoring or water dripping or clock ticking at night

Favorite word to hear: mwah

When no one's looking I like to: dance like a freak to any kind of music that's playing on the radio

What would the movie of your life be called: Life Like Lynette

What is the most ironic thing about yourself: I'm OC but don't show it..in my head, I've had it all figured out but can't execute it well enough. I'm a closet fashionista - I know the latest trends and yet can't wear it with ease..

What do you like most about yourself: I can do research like a spy
What do you hate most about yourself: I seem to attract the wrong type of guys.

One thing you will never be: whiner

Issue most important to you: street kids and programs for their benefit

What is the bravest thing you've done: love! hahaha

What is the one brave thing you've still yet to do: get married and face the in laws.

What's food for your soul? praise and worship songs, communing with nature

If you were to enter heaven, what would you like to hear at the pearly gates: "Hi there! Your Mama is having a homecoming feast for you at the mansion."

Life Notebook

Yesterday I bought a notebook from Papemelroti. This brand of recycled notebook has been witness to my life's most significant and mundane journal entries since I was twelve years old. So maybe I need to write again. I have been keeping a digital journal since 2004 but it's not the same. Just as a digital album is not as poignant as turning the pages of a real photo album. Call me backwards, but it's really something else.

My nephew had his 1st bday party yesterday. Looking at the next generation of our family, I feel all these mixed emotions..it's looking forward to the future and yet wanting everything to remain the same at least for a little while longer. Rye had so much fun spending time with his cousins. I hope they can preserve the friendship even when they've grown up or been separated by distance. Eight cousins in all..ranging from 22 to 1 year old. I pray they have a great life, bounded by faith and love.

Big Girls Don't Cry

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

This song is on my mind these days. A bad case of last song syndrome..

Times a-changing once again. It's been a really dizzying year for me. Wonderfully so. May term bang ganun..anywayz..Tama bang october na..I have a Christmas list but don't have time to shop or the budget to start shopping..hehe.

Rye 2.4

Rileyisms:

Suri, suri - sorry
Mouse - Mickey Mouse
Kitty - KT his cousin
Jushush - Jesus
Pepper - paper
Pakaw, pakaw - pacquiao or boxing

He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Handy Manny and other Disney shows especially High School Musical. He eats Daddy's fried rice, chicken liver, tilapia, adobo and peanuts. Love nya ang boxing, he would raise his fist and tries to box with anyone. Love nya ang cousin nyang si Gabby. Love nyang i-wrestling!

He loves lots of people. He's in his element when they are all over him. In short, bibo at pasikat. He knows how to turn on the aircon, how to plug electrical chenes at itapon ang lahat ng liquid mapa cologne, alcohol or lotion..

these days

these days are swamped. As in totally loaded. And then there will be last minute hostings and seminars. Like this week, may biglaang tie up with QTV, first time na may GMA network pips dito. And then today, I didn't know I had to attend a marketing seminar by the guru himself, Josiah Go. It's called Blue Ocean Strategy - one of the top 10 business concepts of all time. Apparently, hindi rin alam ng organizers that we are going to attend since we are not listed in their registration. It was supposedly exclusive for suppliers only. Kaya hindi kami pwede umatend.

Nakakaaliw, we had to wake up at 7am to go to MOA (the guards didn't know there was a seminar din..napakaconfusing ng umaga ko). We didn't know where to go, we didn't have an invitation. Armed only with a prayer, an encouraging text and my poor bladder which led us to the rest room inside the seminar venue which prompted us to sneak inside..voila! Instant gate crashers..

It was great to be surrounded with entrepreneurs and business bigwigs..parang feeling magaling sa math na rin ako. I learned a lot of marketing know how's. The free seminar should've cost around a thousand pesos. Ang catch we need to present what we learned and report it to management. wahh!

How Could I Ask for More?

I first heard this song in Elim, specifically Barbie Dumlao singing it on PY's show. It was soo beautiful. And hearing it again tonight after what, 15 years..soo amazing! I found a Christian radio station online and it played just now, sung by Cindy Morgan. Nawala ang headache ko.

How Could I Ask for More

There's nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight, and being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing Mama's face goodnight
Holding Daddy's hand
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

Running barefoot through the grass
A little hide and go seek
Being so in love, that you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark, when there's no one else around
Being bundled 'neath the covers, watching snow
Fall to the ground
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way

So if there's anything I've learned
From this journey I am on
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cause there are questions without answers
Flames that never die
Heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise
So thank you Lord, oh thank you Lord
How could I ask for more

(see, gotta hear it when you're feeling ungrateful or grumpy or having a major headache hahaha)

Rye and Nette Simpson

www.simpsonizeme.com - One of the coolest sites to come out this year! I grew up with Bart, he was my favorite character when the Simpsons came out in the early 90's. I haven't watch the film though...Ok, here is the Riley and Lynette Simpson pictorial. Enjoy simpsonizing yourself!

Halfway

I just got back from a 2 week spiritual sojourn called the Halfway House Program, sponsored by the company and I felt like I'm reborn all over again. I got renewed or accepted Jesus as personal Lord and Savior when I was 14 years old. Back then I was in spiritual high, going to church service thrice a week. I was so hungry for the Word of God. Until college and work ate most of my time and simply got too busy.

I went back to choir just before my Mama passed away in 1999. But then the world just got too tempting with lots of fleeting fancies that I took the Lord for granted. Up until 2 years ago when I was down in the pits of darkness. It was the culmination of a troubled life. And the Lord just scooped me out and kept me in the shelter of His wings.

Sa Halfway House, confiscated ang cellfon, bawal magwork unless super urgent, 6:00 am ang start ng activity kaya 4.30 am pa lang gising na ko. Merong lectures, praise and worship, inner healing, deliverance (eto yung ma-action at madramang tagpo) and commissioning of the Holy Spirit. I got the gift of intercession - praying for other people's burdens and I think evangelism. Sana, sana..

Ang saya ng batch namin - puro makukulet na comedian hahaha! Mang Joseph - pinasaya mo kaming lahat, kakaiba ka! Saludo ako sa lahat ng servants lalo na kay Pastor Edmund and Sister Shirley. God bless you for helping save souls for Christ.

Now I'm back to work, back to the real world and still reeling from the joy of praise and worship for 8 straight days, meditating on God's Word and loving fellowship with batch 50 (we're gold!).

I'm going the whole 9 yards for you Lord, hindi lang halfway! Isasama ko si Riley and we will be a household of faith. Amen.

Be Bench Presscon

We've attended the Be Bench: The Next Model Search and it felt like old times when I used to work for a concert production company. Syempre, picturan with artistas (na hindi ko ginawa noon, ewan ko bat natuwa na kong gawin ngayon) - mas kinilig pa ko kay Christian Bautista kesa kay Sam Milby kasi I was watching his concert dvd just that weekend and sobrang gaganda ng songs dun. And he was really nice pati naman si Sam eh, though a bit shy. And I was so happy to see Haydee, my friend since elementary days pa kasi haven't seen her since 2004.

Worth Going to Prison For

My new love - Wentworth Miller of Prison Break! Dati ko pa syang nakikita but haven't found the time to watch PB until 2 weeks ago. Although I saw the "Human Stain" in which he played the young Anthony Hopkins. Oh such beautiful eyes. Oh perfection.

Basketball has been my favorite sport watching activity for as long as I could remember. At 10 years old my parents brought me to Rizal Stadium to watch Ronnie Magsanoc(my 2nd cousin) play in the UAAP. The UP-UE match was a classic finish. After that, it was PBL and the PBA. How I loathed Ginebra during that time. There's the rush of excitement watching it live and winning it by a just a point or two or even a 3 pointer.

During college, it was just sheer heartbreak losing over UST. And having googoo eyes at Jason Webb and Luigi Trillo.

Yesterday, I had fun watching the Jones Cup with Team Pilipinas winning against hometown favorite Taipei. All my good manners flew out the window when I watch a game. I cussed, I scream, I jumped and I howl like a man.

And Rye is soo amazed. He's now a basketball fan too. He says "shoot" and then proceeds to dunk in his mini court.

Cool.

10 Ways to beat stress

1. Accept your imperfections and go ahead inspite of them.

2. Avoid fighting for anything that's really not worth it. Don't squander your energy on semi-important things.

3. Learn and follow organizing principles.

4. Say "no" more often.

5. Get rid of a lot.

6. Don't gather much.

7. Don't keep much.

8. Value simplicity in your lifestyle.

9. Don't sweat the little things.

10. Be grateful.

-adapted from Organizing for life by Sandra Fellton (Nevell)

I'm not sure if I'm stressed. Just out of sorts. Italy dreaming. Wanting frappe and a good conversation. Missing Glorietta and Greenbelt.

Lea's Site

I thought I was having a slow day today, just browsing which resto to have advance Fathers' Day dinner with Dad and the haws people..and voila!

I stumbled upon Lea Salonga's Multiply site with tons and tons of photos..yeeha

http://bigsis222.multiply.com

This early, I'm actually preparing for Christmas. Kasi maraming tao ngayon ang gusto kong bilhan ng gifts. And yen will bake some goodies as part of the gift items so sana talaga pasok sa budget. I also found a new place where I can buy really cool clothes at bargain prices pero hindi ukay ha.

Been seriously thinking of Bo Sanchez's Catholic Filipino Academy - home schooling for Rye. I know it's about 2 years to go but tuition is soo expensive in the schools and yet education is not as good as it should be. Until grade school lang siguro ang home study kasi mas masaya ang high school in the traditional sense eh. And he's more equipped na to handle life..

Sana lang I could be a credible "teacher". I'm looking forward to lots and lots of field trips. Like if we study history, we'd go to the actual places where the action happened that's just near di ba..ang cool nun! Tapos madaming madaming reading assignments na parang isang buong library ang reading list nya.

Pag summer he'll be exposed to kids his own age kasi I'll enroll him in any art/music class or sports clinic of his choice. So far, that's how I've planned it. I'm taking it one step at a time.

Wow Philippines

Dami dami ko pang lugar sa Pilipinas na dapat makita. And so I hereby declare that every year on my birthday, I would visit one destination and support the local tourism industry. I'll start with Corregidor...

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Visited Map" alt="" />
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My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at href="http://forge.codedgraphic.com/lakbayan">Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

Beyond the Sea

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailing

Somewhere beyond the sea
He's there watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to his arms I'd go sailing

It's far beyond the stars,
It's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore
We'll kiss just like before
Happy we will be beyond the sea
And never again I'll go sailing

I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet, I know we'll meet beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we will be beyond the sea
And never again I'll go sailing

No more sailing
So long, sailing, sailing, no more sailing
Good-bye, farewell my friend, no more sailing

Such a hopeful song, I didn't realized it until now.

My Mot

For 2 amazing years, you have showered me with immense joy.

You who came at the most hectic time of my life (adjusting to a new job, moving to a new house, ending a relationship, ate's homecoming), two scary spottings, fetal distress, pre-eclampsia which led to an emergency CS - whew!

...stuck with me and held on for dear life. You taught me how to be strong. Hence, your name Riley. Courage to the end.

For 2 amazing years you have given me unconditional love.

You who had to endure my clumsy mothering skills - from diaper rash to new infant milk allergies and wanting to quit being your mom at 3am over colic and incessant crying, still gazed at me with pure adoration and how!

For 2 amazing years you have provided me with stretches of laugh lines.

You who call Shrek an "okoy", wakes up at 5am smiling and eager to go outside, plays at the park but not wanting to slide, dances to ABS CBN's summer song and calls me Momommy - as in Wowowee. You made me laugh like no other guy can.

For 2 amazing years you made me a better person.

I didn't care about a lot of things before. Ako'y isang malaking dedma. I do what I want and don't want to be disturbed. Period. But when you came, I just wanted this world to be a better place for you. I don't want to die just yet so I can see you grow. I'm also praying to God that you would have a greater life than me (although I've been so much blessed din), more opportunities and all.

For 2 amazing years you made me want to aim bigger dreams for you.

I want us to travel together and see the world! I want you to be good in math. I want you to be a well-rounded person. Sana you'll learn a musical instrument. Or play a sport. Of your choice. I won't force you to do something you don't want to do. That's not how I was raised (thank you Mama and Daddy).

For 2 amazing years you kept me a domesticated person.

Home buddy naman ako but during weekends, I want to go out as much as possible and as long as my budget would allow me. But when you came along, I never did want to go even to the mall without you. And had my appointments squeezed in a day or even cancel night outs. The only time I did go to a bar again was in Davao (mandatory pa yun) and I was so out of place. I was content seeing you as you go about your milestone moments or watch you play and read (more of scan books) and those hohum things.

For 2 amazing years.

Thank you.

Allow me to thank these people too:

Daddy Dad: for taking care of you the whole day and watching endless Barney cds

Ate Elma and Kuya Jo: for treating you as another one of their own kid (nagselos nga si Jocelle eh)

Teret: for taking you to the mall ALONE(a feat which I haven't done pa nga) and arranging your clothes and trimming your nails

Kuya Bong: for buying pasalubong - a cool Toy Story car in Disney HK (ako nga walang something eh)

Ate Susan: for taking care of you and calling you her bunso

G-Anne: for taking countless photos and videos of you in her phone (ako nga nag grab na lang ng images pra sa multiply ko eh)

Ayla: for being your 2nd mom when you stayed in the hotel and watching over you when you swim

Jundee and Angel: for making alaga din and buying food pag nag grocery for gab

Yen: for giving you a lot of stuff and pampering you with kisses and for being the nth mother (ang daming nanay ni rye)

Jen and Jamal: for giving Rye a glimpse of the Moslem ways and being a hands on Ninang

To my Mot, Toot toot, Rarye, bert, Matmat: Happy Birthday! Let's go dizzy with fun..

3 days before Rye 2.0

So, I've been really trying not to plan Rye's bday but it can't be helped. the un-O.C. me needs to prep for my son's birthday. Yesterday I gave him a Shrek toy thanks to McDo Happy Meal. Made him so happy.

I was having the usual working day yesterday when I accidentally learned that this person shares the same birthday with Rye. Of all days in the calendar di ba..

This guy I met in Cebu. That's why I wanted to go to Bora. Coz he lives in Cebu but his work requires (oh the pain) him to frequent the island paradise. Dapat isang buong journal entry nga ito. Ngunit hindi ko na nagawa.

Eck!

Land of the Loving

Deep in your eyes is a promise
Love can be ours if we want it
Starting tonight ev'ry dream I ever knew
Here in your arms I'm believing
Fin'lly my life has a meaning of its own
Here in the land of loving I am home.

I was alone in the city
Searchin' for someone to find me
Cold empty nights and a million strangers' eyes
Here in your arms I'm beginning
To leave behind all the loneliness I knew
Here in the land of loving there is you.

In this simple room magic is made
Though the world seems unchanged
Leave the lights on I'm a bit afraid
This might be just a sweet dream.
Deep in the night love is growing
Though I had no way of knowing
That when I found you I found everything I need
Here in your love I'll be staying
Finally my love won't be living all alone
Here in the land of the loving I am home

- I love this song! It's a beautiful revival sung by Lea in her Inspired album.

I love You Lord. Your love is awesome. Awe-standing. Awe-mazing.

Mother's day is fast approaching and I am pure gooey sentimental mush. I'm senti at the thought of being a Mom but more of missing my Mama.

Treated my family for a lil bit of R & R. Sequestered in a hotel room. Nothing to do but sleep, swim and eat. Not necessarily in that order. But it was fun. I still wish Mama was physically here so she can enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Oh, but it was worth seeing the light in my father's eyes..

Rye and Buh-Bye

My morning ritual consists of Rye waking up just after I've taken a bath, giving him to Dad so I can change for work clothes, having breakfast together or him just watching "Breakfast" and then they would send me off to get tryke. Sometimes he'd cry as part of the usual separation anxiety.

But now he's just content watching tv and saying "buh bye" and looking at me briefly. Sigh. He's really a toddler now. He shrieks like one, he wants to have his way all the time and he's getting tall.

He knows the parts of his face. He loves to read and draw on any available surface. Just about anywhere (poor wall, poor sofa). And he loves to eat rice. He loves cars. He drinks water a lot. And eats my super sour sinigang with matching kilig. He's not jealous of baby Gab and he doesn't hurt kids.

I still can't believe he's turning 2 next month. It's too fast. Too soon. Di ko pa alam how to celebrate his birthday. Pero excited na ko.

America: GunFULL society

My heart is breaking for those who died at Virginia Tech. I saw "Bowling at Columbine" a few years before and I'm still horrified as to how these kids get guns easily and have so much rage in their hearts to shoot and kill on purpose. What kind of society produces such mean killling machines? And they're just KIDS.

Is it the bullying they receive from fellow students? How hard is it to go to school and get picked on everyday when you're not cool or popular enough? Are the kids of America absolutely clueless of their bad treatment of the uncool?

Is it the violence in videogames or movies? Tell us please. The world wants to know.

My brother in law in the US said he'll bring my nephews here to study high school.

And I sighed in utmost relief.

WinWin

Included in my ideal guy list (super shortlisted lang yan) is none other than my dear old cousin Win. The first time I saw him was when our Lolo Pulis died and we were just 3 and 4 years old. After that, hindi na kami nagkita at all. Yung next was when our uncle died, medyo grim di ba but it was the start of a great friendship. Si Win helped me with my career path, tapos sunod sunod na yun.

Pati sa gimik, relationship advice at kung anu ano pa. Sya yung kasama ko from taping, to Malate, to audition pati ang pagkaloka ko meeting Lea Salonga up close and watching Miss Saigon. He never fails to make me smile, laugh and everything in between. Here's to hanging out at Starbucks UN and Greenbelt 1. He tried to right the wrong in my life but I was just soo damn stubborn and yet he never judged me. He just silently prayed for me to come around. And I did in God's time.

I knew he was there for me throughout my struggle.

When he got married (buti na lang he waited for the right girl to come along), hindi ako nakapunta kasi birthday din ni Rye yun but I wanted to be there. Being an only child, alam ko super excited na sya to be a dad soon. Finally. It's going to be such a blast.

Sabi nya noon sa testimonial nya for me, "masasaktan ang magpapaiyak sa pinsan ko" and that "she reminds me of God's goodness in the world". It was enough to make me cry kasi nakakatouch talaga. Don't worry cuz, pinaiyak ko din ang nag-cause ng heartbreak sa yo! (i'm sooo bad).

Nakakatuwa lang that he (and Kay) ang mga kamag-anak ko na malapit ko rin na friends. Although we don't get to see each other as often as before( but I think that's gonna change yahoo!) hindi pa rin magbabago ang samahan namin. Ngayon lalo na mga magulang na kami.

I want to thank the Lord for Win. He's been such a blessing.

Life with Win is a win-win situation.

What is Easter?

What is Easter?

A Sunday where the sun shines a bit brighter than usual

Mass with family – Rye screaming to hold the candle and the whole church looks at him

waking up at 6am to give wide awake Rye to Dad and sleep again

watching 3 Sunday TV Masses because I'm spying on the latest choir songs

eating tuyo, tinapa, fried talong and peanuts

listening to Rye say “Rabbit” “Monkey” and “Viva” over and over

getting a phone call from my sister

watching dvds while having chips overload

reading (hurrah!) the book on my bedside table that has accumulated dust already

tickling Rye and watching him dive on top of his cousins

laughing at baby Gab who looks like comedian “Balot”

thanking God for saving me and the rest of humanity

Nami Cebu

I'd just have to say: if I can move to another city here in the country, it's gotta be Cebu! Less traffic, less people but beautiful ones I tell you, more food and they have a sense of style that I can't define.
9 days in Cebu kept me in good spirits (though I missed my Rye soo much) especially when I laid eyes on Plantation Bay at night. It's pretty romantic. Sigh.

Went to the Taoist Temple and found great accessories in Colon.

Here's our food trips:
Bo's Coffee Club - raspberry iced tea
Golden Cowrie - tuna belly and garlic clams
Krua Thai - crispy beef (tastes like crispy pata)
Larsian - street ihaw-ihaw (chicken etc.)
Tomato - pana cotta (leche flan ice cream)
Dimsum Break - great chinese food
Abuhaw - in IT Park, love sizzling pochero
Venetian Coffee - choco latte
AA - sugba
Bigby's - first discovered in Davao and now in Ayala Cebu
MT Korean Resto - my first on a low dining table
Harbour City - chinese ulet
Bean Date - moist choco cake and strawberry shortcake
Roma Mia - chef's pizza
Lami-ah - Filipino resto with a cultural show

Dami ko pang kwento. I just need to adjust pa my sensory overload. And download the pics..

Davao Travel Blog

Davao is clean. That's the first thing I noticed. Walang kalat sa streets. The best sa food. Been in Harana Resto, Jack's Ridge - overlooking the whole city at may WWII history pa, Miggy's Grill at Times Beach - with the waves lapping while we're eating, gimik at Pop's (although I felt so ancient there kasi puro mga JS Prom highschoolers ang andun), lunch at Bigby's (wla pa silang branch here in Manila but the food is great and the theme is ala-Moulin Rouge so cool!) Meron ding shop called Mags where the clothes are great at cheaper compared dito.

We attended presscons at The Marco Polo Hotel and Royal Mandaya. On the last day, we had a city tour and passed by the church that's shaped like a ship and looks like a mosque din meaning Muslims and Christians live in harmony in Davao. Syempre punta kami sa batik store with lots of great finds na bracelets and other trinkets. Since wla naman akong budget tlga, puro mga small anik-anik lang ang nabili ko. And of course the pomelo, which I had a stomachache for eating just one! Eh kasi nung umaga ko kinain eh. Ayan tuloy. Pumunta din kami sa Lola Abon's durian sweets.

Super pagod pero super happy din. The travel show was fun kahit sumakit ang paa ko katatayo at kakabigay ng flyers sa mga umatend. Ang dami ko ring kinuhang flyers kasi malay mo mega fly kami ni Riley next time di ba. Finally, nakapunta na kong Mindanao. Thank You Lord. Hindi ko tlga expect na makakasama ako but You made it all happen!

Next stop: Cebu! (after 7 years)

I'm living the life of Lorelai Gilmore!

Rye dictionary

Please refer to the translation on the right side:

Baba – Bye
Mommy / Mama – me
Daddy – my daddy dad
Pooh – Winnie the Pooh
Coocoo – Blues Clues puppy
Anye-anye – Give me, I want
Abook – book
Wow - !
Ok - !

He's into Blues Clues now. He's obssessed with the images on his shirt / pajama. He knows how to act like he's crying to get what he wants. He loves to just talk and make "angkas" on the bike. He's smitten with the guitar and the microphone.

Rye's 1st haircut

I thought I couldn't do it. I thought I was gonna cry. I thought I would delay it further. But I knew it was time. He acted like a grown-up. He was too mature, "di ko kaya"...

Birthday Week

Jan 2 - Starbucks night with Yen, Jen and Jamal (despedida)

Jan 4 - 1st Thursday Mass of the year / bday treat of Tagumpay

Jan 5 - Treat of Kuya Obet with Yen's family and Pyro Olympics

Jan 6 - Mexican theme party at home with the whole family and videoke

Jan 7 - My real bday spent with Riley's Ninangs, Sunday Mass with Dad and Choco Sansrival c/o Tamay

Jan 8 - Office treat together with Sir, Mam Jean and Ms. Merlie

How's that huh! So blessed. So undeserving. So overwhelmed. So grateful.

Thank you for the greetings, the gifts and the wishes. I blew my 1st cake using a vigil candle and at home, it's the aromatherapy candle on top of a melting double dutch ice cream care of jen. talk about weird. and my son is hyper, my mascot!

Even if people think I'm 30 (heller), I'm just soo happy. The type of happy that's serene, accepting and my heart swelled twice its size.

Bookish (Book Fetish)

If there's one essential lesson I could pass on to my kid - it's my love for books. I'd rather spend my last money on a book than clothes or food. That's why going to Book Sale and Power Books remain my weakest link, my sweet temptation whenever I go to the mall. I'm itching to buy the Anita Shreve and David Sedaris works on Sale. It's another birthday gift for myself to justify this impulse buying. Yet again.

I got lucky with Paulo Coelho's Pilgrimage. From P375 down to P129. Great find!

I'm reading it slowly. To digest everything.

Welcome 2007

I spent New Year's Eve filled with fireworks, wine, food that Mama used to prepare so it's like she's still alive (pancit bihon, lumpiang shanghai, macaroni salad and fried chicken) and dancing till 2am with Dad, Teret, Yen and of course Rye. I forgot to take pics though.

What I do have are New Year's Day pics of Rye. We spent the 1st day of the year sleeping since he also stayed up till 3am, watching and reading Barney, eating left-overs, tickling and hugging.

I'm having mixed feelings this new year. 2006 had been good to me. Very good in fact. I want to wish for a better 2007. I want to feel excited that there is something in store for me, something big, the mingling of tears-laughter-smile-snort variety. I can just feel it. I hope. Fingers crossed and wish on a chicken bone. But God is the God of good surprises. Surprise me LORD!

Busy busyhan

I'm busy with lotsa things - work load that needs to be done this week, there's our company Christmas party where I'm part of the organizing committee, a wedding of Yen's brother and I'm the emcee, gifts that need to be purchased and the noche buena preparations. And I still have to think of Rye's gift too. But I love December. It's so cheery and the air's so cool.

Rye's latest antic is dancing to Boom Tarat. I know I've been very vocal that I dislike Willy and his deadly show but it was Len who taught him that. But it's cute though. Especially at 5.45 am.

I brought Rye to the office and to the church party, he was such a show-off! He wasn't overwhelmed at all even if kids were fussing over him, trying to carry him and all. Buti na lang at hindi takot sa tao. And the weird thing is he's got more cash than I am. Talk about unfair!

Everyone was saying he looked like a girl coz of his long hair. But I still couldn't deal with having his first hair cut coz that would mean he's not a baby anymore. And he will look like a toddler already. And I can't bear that yet. Di ko kaya. And besides, I love his curls. I wanted curls when I was a kid.

I love this year's holiday season. It's better compared to last year. I feel soo blessed.

Oh, and I'm playing badminton with the office pips. Gotta shape up. Ouch. Muscles. Sore.

Top 10 Picks

Been reading Patty's blog and got inspired with her top 10. So this is my list..

Top ten

1. Natalie Portman – beauty and brains, very intimidating in Closer
2. Kate Hudson – fresh and vibrant, loved her in Almost Famous – she made me cry in her delivery of “what kind of beer?”
3. Kimberly Williams – see previous entry
4. Angelina Jolie – her sexiness is so blatant even when she’s fully clothed
5. Ashley Judd – I love her smile, her low voice
6. Mikee Cojuangco – her simplicity just reels me in, super charming
7. Lea Salonga – wala na kong masabi
8. Julia Ormond – I saw her first in Legends of the Fall and then in First Knight, breathtakingly beautiful
9. Gloria Romero – the classic beauty, ageless
10. Evangeline Lily – I love her face, her body – anyone would want to get lost in an island with her

Top 10 Guys
1. Tom Cruise – since Topgun I was gone!
2. George Clooney – ER days when he was canoodling in the trauma room with Nurse Hathaway
3. Patrick Dempsey – loved him when he was a teenager, got smitten again when I saw him in Lucky 7 and now in Grey’s
4. Orlando Bloom – he was gorgeous in LOTR but oh so sexy in Elizabethtown
5. Jake Gyllenhaal – his eyes were baiting me in Moonlight Mile
6. Wentworth Miller – haven’t seen a whole episode of Prison Break but watched him in The Human Stain – gorgeous, reminds me of someone hehe
7. Matthew Fox – saw him first in Party of Five but loved him in LOST
8. Richard Gere – fell in love with him in Pretty Woman and on and on
9. Keanu Reeves – he was the dorky fellow in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey but he was the hunka babe in A Walk in the Clouds
10. Aga Muhlach - since Bagets till now, will always be a fan

I don't know if there's a pattern with these choices, basta they're beautiful. They make me want to fall in love, they inspire me..

1 year and 6 months

Rye celebrated his 18 month mark by attending a Jollibee bday party of his good friend Andrei. He just stared at Jollibee, was more interested munching his Chickenjoy and dancing to the music. I think Rye has made me more sociable. He has "forced" me to mingle. Therefore, he has made me more human. Hahaha.

Trivia:

• gives back his bottle to me after he's done feeding
• whispers back when I whisper first
• claps his hands while watching "Philippine Idol"
• knows how to play ball
• calls me "Meeee.." which I think is short for Mommy
• says "Ah-nyeee" when he wants something
• knows the sound of an airplane
• immitates the sneezing sound "Acheee" and laughs when he sneezes
• talks in a questioning tone
• fond of tails and wheels
• uses the cd as "bunot" - so some of my poor cds now have hideous scratch marks and can't be played
• when feeding, he lets me smell his feet (my favorite part)
• pikon
• knows when I'm inside the toilet and pounds the door
• loves to brush his teeth
• loves to take a bath and sprinkles water to the poor person giving him a bath (me!)
• always mistaken for a girl due to his uncut curly hair
• when I come home, he always claps his hands (awww)

wala lang

Ngayon ko lang na-realized that I have a problem with "normalcy" or plateau moments. Ung tipong steady lang, walang nangyayaring kakaiba. I have this excitement addiction. Ung dapat may weird na situation or something new all the time that's happening to me. Kahit negative basta it would make my heart beat faster or have this adrenalin rush. Bored na bored ako when the week passes na stay put lang ako. Gusto kong maging reporter dati. I imagined travelling to war-torn places and barely escape being shot, ma-action. Madrama. Gusto ko noon ng documentary. Ang sabi ko sa Probe ako magwork. Kasi idol ko yung 2nd cousin kong si Kara Magsanoc-Alikpala (yes, ung nanay nya ang Editor in chief ng Inquirer).

Pero di ko alam kung bakit napunta ko sa pang-showbiz, pang-lifestyle na klase ng work. Tapos natuwa din ako sa PBA noon. Gusto kong magtrabaho sa Vintage Sports. Nag-struggle na din ako nun, parang nababawan ako sa ginagawa ko. But then kung makakapagpasaya naman ng tao ung show o kaya matutong kumanta, I think may kabuluhan din di ba. Tsaka pag performance night, proud na proud ung mga parents sa anak nila. As coach (kahit na feeling ko kulang ako sa credentials), fulfilling yun sobra.

I'm still wondering kung ano pang field of work ang pwede kong gawin. Ung marketing nga nagulat ako kasi wala naman akong subject na ganito at all nung college. It's great to learn as I go along. Wag lang akong magbenta kasi di ako magaling mag convince or mag helpdesk kasi mahihiblood lang ako. Ok na ko sa research at magsulat. At gumawa ng radio ad. At syempre kumanta for a living. Gusto ko magback up. Dream ko yun. Yung anonymous ka pero mas magaling ka sa lead singer. bwahaha.

Kaya nga natatawa ko ngayon. Kasi my weekends are the same unless I have to really go to an important appointment. Bond with Rye, watch tv or film, read a book and sleep. Mas gusto ko pang matulog ngayon kesa lumabas. Kaya nga nung nag-Malate kami, namiss ko ung place pero at the same time, I knew I could never be as carefree or as puyat or as tipsy tulad ng dati. Iba na talaga. Pero di ako nag-regret (motto ko yan kahit ayaw maniwala ng iba) kasi na-enjoy ko naman lahat eh. Hinihintay ko lang na maglakad ng maayos si Rye bago maglakwatsa kasama sya. Naglalakad na sya pero pag trip nya lang tsaka pag may nanonood. Pasikat nga.

Walang pattern itong entry ko pero I think the bottom line is I still have a lot to do. I want to surprise myself. Ayokong nilalagay ako sa kahon. I'm too complicated.

Kimmy

There's another celebrity I absolutely love. It's Kimberly Williams-Paisley. From the first moment I saw her in "Father of the Bride" then in "Relativity" (which is my 2nd favorite series of all time next to "My So-Called Life") and "Lucky 7", a made for tv movie, I knew she was amazing. Her husband Brad is a famous country singer. He has this enormous crush on her that he especially requested that she be included in his music video. Here's a song in his album, I haven't heard it but the lyrics sure are cute;)

She's Everything

She's a yellow pair of running shoes

A holey pair of jeans

She looks great in cheap sunglasses

She looks great in anything

She's I want a piece of chocolate

Take me to a movie

She's I can't find a thing to wear

Now and then she's moody

She's a Saturn with a sunroof

With her brown hair a-blowing

She's a soft place to land

And a good feeling knowing

She's a warm conversation

That I wouldn't miss for nothing

She's a fighter when she's mad

And she's a lover when she's loving

[Chorus]

And she's everything I ever wanted

And everything I need

I talk about her, I go on and on and on

'Cause she's everything to me

She's a Saturday out on the town

And a church girl on Sunday

She's a cross around her neck

And a cuss word 'cause its Monday

She's a bubble bath and candles

Baby come and kiss me

She's a one glass of wine

And she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be

And the stealer of the covers

She's a picture in my wallet

Of my unborn children's mother

She's the hand that I'm holding

When I'm on my knees and praying

She's the answer to my prayer

And she's the song that I'm playing

She's the voice I love to hear

Someday when I'm ninety

She's that wooden rocking chair

I want rocking right beside me

Everyday that passes I only love her more

Yeah, she's the one

That I'd lay down my own life for

And she's everything I ever wanted

And everything I need

She's everything to me

Yeah she's everything to me

Everything I ever wanted

And everything I need

She's everything to me

We care!

One Saturday my Marketing family and I troop to He Cares Foundation to give them one day they won't forget, I hope. These street children were going to have a party thanks to generous people in our office. We had face painting and parlor games with cool toys as prizes. It was my first time to unleash the creative (albeit frustrated) side of me thru live canvass hehe. It was great that the kids were good sports even if I couldn't do dragons and other difficult images they want painted on their cute faces.

We also had an Amazing Race time when we purchased the toys in Divi. We had to be done in an hour during lunch break and we did it! Hooray..

november na, anu vah!

1. Yourself: thankful

2. Your child: happy show-off

3. Your hair: auburn brown

4. Your mother: amazing

5. Your Father: ideal

6. Your Favorite Item: book

7. Your dream last night: weird

8. Your Favorite drink: strawberry iced tea

9. Your Dream Car: benz

10. The Room You Are In: office

11. Your fear: filler (for the void, for the ex)

12. What you want to be in 10 years: back-up singer

13. Who you hung out with last night? family

14. What You're Not: crass

15. Muffins: choco chip

16. One of your Wish List Items: magic sing

17. The Last Thing You Did: write

18. What You Are Wearing: blouse

19. Your Favorite Weather: sunny

20. Your Favorite Book: Love Song

21. What Is The Last Thing You Ate: fish

22. Your Life: peaceful

23. Your Mood: dark

24. Your body: getting fat

25. What are you thinking about right now: relationships

26. Food: choco chip cookies

27. What are you doing at the moment: typing

28. Your summer: great

halo-halo thoughts on halloween

I'm sad today. i just learned that Ryan Philippe and Reese have split up. I love them as a couple. I have this thing for famous couples. It's either I love 'em or hate 'em. No in betweens. And I get really affected for days..like TomKat. That was hard to accept. But when I saw Suri, it changed everything. She's so beautiful.

I need a new book. Since last year, I didn't buy any new one since there are still some I haven't even started reading yet. So ok, I'm gonna try hard to find time for them soon so I can justify my new book purchase.

Yesterday, Yen and I had an impulse to go walking - my bones are starting to complain already while Yen was feeling sluggish. So off we went for a two hour walkathon. And it feels so good. I wish I could do it everyday. I know I can be sporty if I commit myself to it but...;) Maybe that could be my new year resolution.

My ate is 40 years old. She doesn't want to acknowledge it but yes she is starting her life today! My only sister is my role model. She's so different from me and yet we're the same. She's got great fair skin, can dance so well and is a fashionista. I get make-up and clothing tips from her. She is classy and her style is impeccable. She's organized, a squeaky clean girl. We're both quiet among other people but really loud when we're together and can be push-overs ( as in uto-uto ng mga taong panget hahaha). But we are shopaholics, we can spend the entire day at the mall and just find bargains for hours. We can read each other's minds. We never fight. The only time she got mad at me was 2 years ago but then it was over in 2.7 seconds. I love her generous heart and her fighting spirit. Just like my mom.

My Ate is my 2nd mom. The first time I ever got depressed was when she left for the States when I was 12 years old. I was inconsolable for weeks. I was just crying and pouting and wishing the world would end soon. She makes me want to be a better person and taught me not to settle. She took off the blindfold and made me see the light. Thank you so much Ate Mael. She was supposed to be named Cecilia Joy. I love you. Can't wait for another vacation with you and the kids!

I hope I can present the man you had in mind for me. Just you wait. Matagal-tagal pa. Hirap ng packaging. hahaha. Pero natuto na ko. Pramis.

year-end thoughts

Whenever November comes around, December is just a breath away. Next thing you know, it's frenzied shopping and partying galore. And then it's Christmas Eve and then New Year. and then my birthday..heehee.

When I was younger, I used to take stock of how my year turned out. I wrote monthly milestones and then capped the journal entry with some form of closure. a goodbye hello ritual. Now I only write my thoughts online and I missed my scribbles, the way my hand hurts from too much writing.

This year has been really slow and steady. Peaceful. Just watching my boy grow (walking, mimicking, cruising, tight hugging). Being with my sister and her kids (the best vacation ever). Being with Yen (ang haba ng hair - pila ang guys). And Dad (got him back from the wicked witch..hooray for the triumph of good vs. evil!). Assessing friendships. A new nephew (congrats jundee, hindi ka baog). A pleasant surprise which is still a work in progress (keeping my fingers crossed).

It's a time of getting more comfortable being a mother and acknowledging that my life is now more focused and more fulfilled. It's trusting the Lord when there are seemingly insurmountable obstacles. And then just believing..inspired by the mustard seed principle. I know a lot of changes will happen next year. I can sensed it as early as now. I just hope they're good changes. Super Didooper!

Now I'm excited for Christmas. Last year was chaotic since we were moving out and stuff. This time we're staying, building roots. Getting settled. Feels so good...

Rye @ 17 mos baby!

Rye is 17 months today and is now walking! Yes, ladies and gentlemen - the much-awaited moment has finally arrived. At around 10.30 pm last night I saw my son took 4 steps alone and has this goofy grin on his face, like saying "hey, I'm a real toddler now, watch me go!" My dad was responsible for this major feat. He was the one who first saw him walk yesterday.

So I'm still reeling from the experience of seeing this little man take his first steps. I'm proud of course but a little weepy. He's not a baby anymore technically but he'll always be my Batootoot.

Nid a digicam soo bad so I can shoot all his milestones. I haven't printed the summer pix yet. Wahh..

I love it when he hugs me super tight. I can't thank God enuf for this one.

Welcome Gabby!

Meet my nephew who came out into the world just today at 12.24 am..Hellow Gabriel Matencio! Welcome to our zany, wacky, loony menagerie..the 8th wonder apo of Daddy Dad.

failure and success

Failure:
You think you like someone and then you get mixed signals if he likes you back. And then now you're confused and dunno where to proceed. You're scared of taking risks because you've been badly burned. And you've just completely recovered. How can you jump into the foray again??! You feel too much and it just won't go away...

Success:
You get an out of the blue text message from a looong time friend whom you dated thrice and then went kaput. You don't even remember why it didn't work out. You just knew he kissed you once and didn't feel a thing. It feels good to know he's hoping that all is well with you. It feels great to know that after 6 years, about 2 or 3 guys are still wondering how you are doing.

Advisory: real name withheld

16 months baby!

Riley is 1 year and 4 months today. He's got a surprise coming up in November. It's sentimental because it's the same month I first learned I was pregnant. Oh wow!

my human alarm clock

Rye woke up at exactly 4:57 am today. What's so adorable about him is that the moment he wakes up, he just suddenly stands up and looks outside the window. And in the process, steps on my face with his huge feet. My son is the only human being who can step on me literally. And who can never make me cranky even at this ungodly hour. How could I when he would smile (6 teeth emerging) at me or just make loud and weird vowel-consonant sounds..How could I not thank God for this cutesie?

And then when I come home, he just waits for me so I can lull him to sleep and put him to bed. Ahh, my constant comfort no matter how good or bad my day turned out..

I Miss you so much Mama

Your Mother is always with you
She's the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street
she's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks
she's the cool hand on your brow
when you’re not well
Your Mom lives inside your laughter
And she's crystallized in every tear drop
She's the place you came from
your first home
and she's the map you follow
with every step you take
She's your first love
and your first heartbreak
and nothing on earth
can separate you
Not even death

I miss you soo much Ma. Hope you got to meet Rye. He got your social skills and your smile. I know you're always with me. In dreams. In songs. In signs. Always. I love you. See you soon!

in hello

Lynette ver.7.0

I think I need upgrading!

sigh.

Pagsibol

I've heard this song again last night during Mass. And whenever I hear it, I just want to cry. It's so beautiful! Bukas Palad songs just refreshes my soul..

Pagsibol (Lyrics and Chords)
Arnel Aquino SJ
Album and Score Book: The Best of Himig Heswita
Intro: (4/4) E-EM7/D#-C#m-C#m/B-AM7-F#m7-Bsus-B7

E EM7 C#m C#m/B A-F#m7
Bawat huni ng ibon sa pag-ihip ng amihan
Bsus B7-E
Wangis Mo'y aking natatanaw
EM7 C#m C#m/B A-F#m7
Pagdampi ng umaga sa nanlamig kong kalamnan
Bsus B7
Init Mo'y pangarap kong hagkan.

Koro1:
E E/G# F#m7 B
Panginoon, Ikaw ang kasibulan ng buhay
B7 E E/G# G#m7-C#7sus
Puso'y dalisay kailanpaman.
C#7 F#m7 Am G#m7-C#m7
Ipahintulot Mong ako'y mapahandusay
F#m7 Bsus B7 E - EM7/D# C#m
Sa sumasaibayong kaginhawahan.
C#m7/B - AM7 -F#m7 - Bsus - B

2. (Same Chords)
Nangungulilang malay, binulungan ng tinig Mong
Nagdulot ng katiwasayan
Paghahanap katwiran, nilusaw Mo sa simbuyong
karilagan ng pagmamahal (Koro1)

Koro2: (Transpose) Bb/C
C7 F F/A Gm7 C7sus
Panginoon, Ikaw ang kasibulan ng buhay
C7 F F/A Am7-D7sus
Puso'y dalisay kailanpaman.
BbM7 Bbm7 Am7 - Dm
Ipahintulot Mong ako'y mapahandusay
Dm7 Gm7 Bbm C7 Am7-Dm
Sa sumasaibayong kaginhawahan.
Gm7 Bbm7 Am7 - Dm
Dalangin pa sana'y mapagtanto kong tunay
Dm/C Gm7 Bb7 C7 F
Kaganapan ng buhay ko'y Ikaw lamang.
F/E-Dm-Dm7/C-BbM7-Gm7-C-F

----------------------------------------------

"be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a foreign tongue. do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer."

Exactly.

Thank God for blogs and for those who have them and I consider these people my friends even if they don't know me. I have local blog sites and foreign ones in my Favorites. And I learn a lot from them. Especially at this time...

My favorite show as of today

"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

When on earth can I possibly have the guts to say this to any guy????? Argghhh!

Of course, Derek also has his own heart stopping line:

"Shut up. -- My mother's maiden name is Maloney. I have four sisters, eight nieces and five nephews. I like coffee ice cream, single malt Scotch and occasionally a good cigar. I fly fish, I cheat when I do the Sunday crossword puzzle and I don't dance in public. My favorite color is blue. And not that light blue. Indigo. The Sun Also Rises? Favorite novel. The Clash? Favorite band. This tiny little scar by my nose? That's why I don't ride motor-cycles anymore. And I live in that trailer! And
all this land is mine and I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it!! That's it, that's all you've earned. For now. The rest...well, the rest you'll have to
take on faith."

Of Love

I still don't have a copy of Andrew M. Greeley's "Book of Love" so I'm gonna be content with an excerpt for now:

Foreword

Love Before Love
It is odd that God has chosen the name of Love.

Maybe it's only a human name that we ascribe to God. Maybe we've imposed it on God without His permission. Or Her permission. Christianity is more explicit about the name. St. John says flatly that God is love. Other religions, as the selections in this Book of Love will illustrate, say pretty much the same thing, though perhaps more cautiously. Even the saints and the mystics, who may have had more contact with God than the rest of us, claim that they encounter overwhelming love.

If God didn't like the name, He could have easily rebuked those who use it, one way or another. If one is a Christian, one has to say that St. John's naming of God is inspired, that in some fashion God and St. John conspired to call Her Love.

Odd.

All right, our efforts at naming God are pale metaphors that reveal to us a little about God, a lot less than they don't reveal. God is like human love but also unlike it. Less passionate, less forceful, less determined, less enraptured? We can hardly say that because if we do the metaphor collapses. Love in its very nature is passionate, forceful, determined, enraptured. So if the metaphor has any validity at all it must mean that God is like human love only more so, more passionate, more forceful, more determined, more enraptured.

Scary.

Persistently passionate human lovers can be very scary. However, we can cool them off in various ways. A God who is infinitely more passionate? A God whom we can't cool off? A God from whom we can't escape? Very scary indeed.

And very odd.

Love is not just hearts and flowers and St. Valentine's Day lace -- though it is that too. Love is essentially a raging torrent rushing inexorably toward union. A river tumbling irresistibly toward the ocean, the ocean sweeping up into the river mouth in its high tide. Love is usually very messy, very troublesome, very dangerous, very consuming. It is, as Father Martin Darcy S.J. wrote in his classic The Mind and Heart of Love, finally not so much the desire to possess as the desire to be possessed. God is like that?

Most odd.

We are tempted to say that God doesn't really mean that. She conspired with St. John to say she was something sweet and nice, not something turbulent and demanding and fearsome. The word doesn't mean the same thing at all when it is used of human love as when it is used as God. Certainly Love is not love, right?

Wrong! Unless you want to argue that God plays word games as well as dice.

Love emerged in humankind not as a result of our being human but as a precondition of our becoming human. In our hominid ancestors the bonding between male and female, already passionate enough, had to extend to the female's children for humanity as we know it to emerge. The bond of love produced a family and, by so doing, produced humankind. Moreover, to really bond the family together humans had to develop in such a way that the male and female were capable of sex not merely episodically (once a month, once a year) but all the time. Now that is really messy!

Did God really want to compare Himself to the hunger of man and woman for one another, a hunger which in its pervasiveness is unique among the species about which we know? A hunger which causes all kinds of trouble in the human condition? A hunger which has developed out of the bonding propensities that we share with other less passionate species? A propensity to bond rooted in the earth and in bodies? Did God want us to think that He's really like that?

If He did, that is outrageously odd. However, one learns, like Job, not to argue with God. If God wants to be Love, then that's His business. One can understand, however, why many people try to pretend that God doesn't really mean it or to pretty the name over with a sentimental veneer. The implications of the notion that there is something in the messy joy of human passion that is very like God are too disturbing to have to take seriously.

Not only, then, do we pretend that the passion between man and woman is totally different from God's passion for us, we also try to pretend that all the other varieties of love that are part of human life are totally different from sexual passion. The word obviously means three totally different things -- God, human sexual attraction, and all the other loves in our life. There is lovep1p, lovep2p, and lovep3p. The first is God, the second is sexual attraction, the third is the way we feel about our friends and relatives. All are different. They merely happen to have the same name.

Stated that baldly, our attempt to eliminate the body from our friendships and from God may seem hilarious to some. Nonetheless, it is the implied conventional wisdom of those who want to escape from the scary implications of love as passion.

In fact, we know of no other species that have as many different kinds of love as we do. Clearly all our other loves are possible only because we are a species endowed with a very unique kind of sexuality, one oriented not merely, and not even principally, toward reproduction but toward bonding. Humans can have a wide variety of loves because they have such a powerful capacity to bond. The other loves are not the same as passion between man and woman, but the ability to engage in passionate sexual bonding makes possible all the other loves. They are not watered-down versions of sexual love but rather the result of our vast, amorphous, and desperate need to bond. Close friendship is not the same as sexual love, but it's not completely different either and is possible because we are creatures who can bond.

That leaves unanswered the question of why God wants to identify herself with human bonding, why She wants to create the impression that it is in her nature to bond with us. We often wish God would go away with that metaphor, but clearly there is no escaping it though we pretend to try.

Perhaps that is the reason that in so many of the current spate of books about virtues (Books of Virtue, etc.) love is absent. In these books one encounters much about various stoic virtues as honesty, reliability, industry, and suchlike -- all doubtless admirable virtues. However, one reads nothing in these inestimable anthologies about love.

One wonders why. Did St. Paul not say the greatest virtue was love? Have the anthologists dismissed him because love has somehow come to be identified with nineteen sixties' hedonism (as in "make love not war"), drugs, and rock music? Might it be that love is perceived as a soft, mushy, self-indulgent, undisciplined quality that hardly deserves the name of a virtue? How could one who writes editorials for the Wall Street Journal and cries for more outrage from Americans possibly sing the praises of something like love, for which there is, anyhow, little room in a free market economy? Why, of all things, should parents want to put in the hands of their children a book about love? Given the very conservative orientation of the anthologists, that may well be the case. Too bad for St. Paul. And for St. John too.

If love is a torrential force toward a union that bonds, it will bring sustained happiness only when it is focused, disciplined, intent, experienced, mature, patient, kind, and all those other nice things St. Paul says about it. The ability to love wisely and well is the most important trait parents can pass on to their children. It is not, however, sentimental mush.

Thus it seemed to us that the omission of Love from those anthologies is passing strange. So we decided to prepare a book that might be a supplement or a corrective or even a challenge to such books of virtue, minimally a polite reminder from St. Paul that without love the stoic virtues are sounding brass and tinkling cymbals.

Therefore we commit this book to two fundamental propositions:

God is Love.

The greatest of all virtues is love.

Mega Daughter

One favorite childhood memory of mine was being with my sister as we watch Sharon's films on the big screen. She's a true Sharonian. And I think she has rubbed off on me, but this time I love Sharon's daughter KC. She is cool. Recently, tabloid showbiz went crazy over the news that she spent time with her dad, after years of not being together. Wow. She is truly her mother's best achievement. And the fact that she shuns the usual showbiz fare but still graces commercials and fashion mags (and they sell!), that's class.

Oki, I think aside from Lea Salonga and Mikee Cojuangco, KC will be included in my roster of favorite Pinay beauties. They exude beauty, style, grace and excellence. Truly worth emulating. Ohh, I can't wait for my baby girl (!) in + years hahaha..

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Sleep has been such an indulgence especially this long weekend. The rainy weather just makes you want to lie down and chill. Hay..sarap. And then my 15 month old toddler would wrestle me in bed and as usual, I lose everytime. Sigh.

Survey

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1. Voice and stage performance coach
2. Researcher and production assistant
3. Creative and PR staff
4. Marketing ASM

Four movies I've watched Over and Over:
1. Pretty Woman
2. You've Got Mail
3. Before Sunrise
4. Before Sunset

Four places I've lived in:
1. Belair in UN Avenue - 26 years of my life
2. Sampaloc, Manila - bumabaha
3. Las Pinas
4. BF Paranaque

Four TV shows I'd like to watch:
1. One Tree Hill
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. LOST
4. Philippine Idol

Four places I've been on a vacation:
1. Hongkong
2. China
3. Cebu
4. Sagada

Websites I visit daily:
1. msn
2. livejournal
3. blogger
4. inq7

My favorite foods:
1. italian
2. sitsirya - junk food is my weakness
3. ice cream
4. inihaw

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. Paris
2. Florence
3. California
4. Corregidor

Being a Fan

Hi, Lynette!

Great to hear from you. You're always good for my ego. I'm actually delighted to hear that Jinxed is now dog-eared, lol, and that it's still bringing you so much pleasure.

I hope you'll follow me when I make the switch to Desire. Take care and do stay in touch!

Best, Day
--------

This is the reply I got from Day Leclaire, author of numerous romance books from Harlequin.

When I was a teenager, I used to read about an average of 2 books a day since these are easy reads, roughly 100 pages max of Harlequin, Mills and Boons, Silhoutte no brainers. I like the stories, how they met, fall in love, conflict, break up and the obligatory happy endings. It's pure mush but still for someone who didn't have a boyfriend in highschool, it was a great escape from it all. If you're not living it, at least you get to read about it right?!

Day Leclaire had this fun book called "Jinxed". The story revolves around a toy inventor (girl) who is clumsy and disorganized so her boss (guy) usually freaks out. It's a screwball comedy filled with hilarious situations and I just kept on laughing the whole time. I love it so much.

Videoke

My videoke experience takes me as far back as late 1990's, when multiplex was becoming obsolete and cds are the "in" thing. The first time I heard of Magic Sing microphone was when my ex-boyfriend used to do demos and they'd do the rounds in exhibits and trade fairs. I kid you not.

Next thing I knew, videoke microphones,token machines and videoke bars took hold of Pinoys everywhere. It's fun. It fulfills your diva ambitions. It annoys your neighbors. FUN!

I already have a repertoire when it comes to these long, long hours of serious singing. From fast to slow, OPM..love it. And then you see your reward at the end: 100, You Are Great Singer!

Of War

The first ever memory I had of war was when I was 9 years old. I remember distinctly it was on channel 7 and the made for tv movie was called "Escape from Sobibor". It was about a few Jews who escaped in a Poland death camp. After that, I kept reading about Nazis, Hitler, Holocaust and we even had a Time war photography book. I dunno but I was hooked. Anne Frank made me cry a lot. I used to think all Germans were evil. I hated their language and I feared them. I watched "Schindler's List" and the "Pianist" with a heavy heart. I didn't understand "Life is Beautiful" when I first saw it until I had my own child. How I wanted to shield him from the horrors of the world and so forth.

Now, there's the war in Lebanon. In the homefront, NPAs and terrorists abound. It's scary. In an instant, your whole life will change. Survival or death - not much choice but it's reality. Will I be a hero or a coward?

Vodka Dry

There was a year when I was drunk for like twice a week. I'm not sure if it's 2002 or 2003. Anyway. I didn't know why I felt compelled to drink. I wasn't depressed or anything (or was I? Tsk tsk, I don't really remember). I'd also have drinking sessions at home with my brothers. I just went to gimiks and it was more fun to have Smirnoff Mule or Bailey's or San Mig Light than Cali Shandy. It was also the year I think I went bar hopping the most. Now I think of how much I spent that time and winced. Going home at 5am from Malate, Thelma if you're reading this - those were the days..

My alcohol history is under scrutiny today since we recently had our videoke night with office pips. And I only had grape juice. Ya, how boring but it was a really huge glass (hehe). Anyway. I realized alcohol doesn't appeal to me anymore unlike before. Although I can still have Absolut vodka on certain occasions. Or gin tonic.

Or..never mind..

Musicals

The past week was cartoons, this weekend was all about musicals. And guess who was my tv buddy? Rye of course! I got copies of "The Phantom of the Opera" and "Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat". And then we both got lost in the fascinating worlds of music, song and dance. We gasped. We danced. We slept really late.

In college, I was able to learn about musicals when I studied the works of Vincente Minnelli - An American in Paris, Meet Me in St. Louis, Brigadoon..So now I'm gonna start my own collection. Oh and soundtracks too.

My nephews got hooked on "High School Musical" at Disney Channel. Now I'm into it as well. And the female lead is Pinay. Yey!

Cartoons

I know this is such a LATE review on "Chicken Little" but I can't help but write about it nonetheless. Yesterday, when the rains were pounding outside, Rye and I were laughing (at least I was laughing and he was seriously watching - eyes big and mouth open). I wasn't able to see it when it was the "in" movie. It was fun. I mean I only watch cartoons when I'm with kids and watching it with my son had a special feel to it. Like it's a start of stuffs we would do together..now we wrestle each other, I'd relentlessly pursue to kiss him and he'd wiggle away and then I'll corner him and he'll give out an ear-shattering shriek. Tomorrow, we might be travelling together. Or in the future, we'd watch basketball etc etc.

Sights, Sounds and Smells of Childhood

Growing up, these are the distinct Sss I'll always remember:

TV show sights:

1. Batibot - When I saw Kuya Bodjie in person I got star struck kahit ang tanda ko na!

2. Tagalog Classics - those black and white films on channel 9, that's why nag Comm Arts ako, I wanted to do films and know what it's like backstage..Favorite ko si Gloria Romero and Rogelio dela Rosa..

3. Knight Rider - David Hasselhof before Baywatch and Kit, great car

4. McGyver - every Saturday night, the whole family would watch Richard Dean Anderson fight the bad guys using the swiss knife lang

5. Doogie Howser M.D. - eto yung nagpamulat sa akin sa PC and keeping a journal, love the soundtrack and his friendship with Vinnie

6. Twilight Zone - it's creepy Friday lagi

7. Beverly Hills 90210 - Brandon Walsh..wahh..Thelma and I loved the show so much!

8. Sa Linggo NA PO Sila - Love the APO and first saw Agot and Rico Yan was just starting sa noon time show na to

9. Anna Liza - naabutan ko pa si Julie Vega. Favorite ng Mama ko yun, she even went to her burial

10. Homefront - palabas to sa channel 2 pero super late na, setting after the war in US

Sounds:
1. My Mom and Dad's conversations every morning - nagigising ako sa mga boses nila, just talking and having breakfast

2. Smokey Mountain - i was so into Jeffery Hidalgo but thelma said he's gay now so..boohoo. it was the 1st concert that i went to..

3. Ogie Alcasid - Kuya Bong has his albums, favorite nya tlga kaya nung pinanood nya yung concert sa Maxi, he was so thrilled!

4. audio cassettes - dati we give ate elma audio tapes of our singing and messages..hahaha..those were the days

5. choir practice - we'd stay at Tahanan village where the Mercados live and just practice and sing the whole day, minsan buong weekend pa..saya

6. Lea Salonga - nagasgas na ung copy ko ng "A Miss Called Lea", na memorize ko na lahat ng repertoire nya. I still know I'm gonna be in a musical soon (libre mangarap di ba)

7. 60's music at RJ 100 - dati sa Cavite, every Sunday tune in sila Mama sa RJ.. Matt Monroe, Frank Sinatra all the classics alam ko

8. Jessica Zafra's "Twisted on a Sunday" - thelma and i listened to it faithfully every week, and laugh and rant with her

9. Mama singing - she used to sing "You Needed Me" everytime sa videoke kaya ayun ang theme song nya. Whenever I hear it, I know nagpaparamdam sya sa akin, either Im good or in trouble..hehe

10. Ate Elma singing - oh no! she had a recording of Sharon's HIgh School Life and it was so horrible, tawa kami ng tawa..

Smells:
1. garlic frying / sautee - Mama's yummy cooking, yung kitchen namin ang bango bango, I still can't eat lumpiang shanghai and all her other famous dishes without remembering her

2. Barbie doll - the smell of my new toy fresh out of the box

3. Coppertone sunblock / chlorine - during my summer swimming class at Rizal stadium

4. saltwater - Manila Bay when it was cleaner

5. My mom's perfume - sweet, not overpowering

6. Air freshener - those tiny, multi-colored oblong shaped ones you put in pencil cases

7. eraser and stationery - in school

8. chowking - it was just below our unit

9. pets - had a number of dogs and they all smell bad..hehe

10. melon - my favorite summer fruit

Now that I'm older, it's Rye's feet and head that I'm addicted to. Asim!

Grey's Anatomy

I love Meredith Grey. She's my new alter-ego. She embodies my childhood wish of being a doctor. I love her. and I love Dr. McDreamy. Believe me I know how she feels.