bye 2013

On hindsight, I think 2013 got me in a showbiz way - singing national anthem and opening prayer, being on print ad, meeting Daphne..work was amazing and loaded. True it had its crazy times with a weepy boss but all's well that ends well with my new one. It was amazing, had its share of pruning...My morning clockwork is precise. Workout, breakfast, mass. And occasional wake up with Rye haha. But weekends are reserved for just the two of us. He's turning out to be cool, funny and wise beyond his years. I can't wait to grow up with this kid.

It was also a year of heartbreak - rejection, loss of Tamay's and Jen's baby, Dad's sickness, Yolanda typhoon. My print ad ran on the day of the typhoon. How epic was that?

Rye doing well this year. God is good and faithful!

Cheers to new friends and fun times. Had so much fun with my bffs and workmates.

Thank You Lord for Your provisions. Your loving kindness. For lessons on true servanthood. Painful but it will make sense soon. I love You. Cant wait for 2014!

December is the bomb

How can it be December already? Was I in some weird time warp or something? Last week, I learned Dad has the friendliest cancer, prostate cancer early stage. How do you actually prepare for something like this? You don't. I kind of hoping it's not true with the test and all but then when it hit me, tears just flowed. I just pray that Dad is strong enough to handle the treatment and that I'd still see him soon. After 1 and a half years. Amen. In Jesus' name. I'm just grateful with such overwhelming support my way. It's like I have it instead of him you know.

Christmas is near. It's hovering around the corner. And I feel it. Not with the usual busy and commercial trappings but something internal. It's amazing how God can just reel me in His love. Untouched by the world's uncaring. Last year, everyone was here and busy and frantic. Now it's more quiet and my pace. I get to dictate my own time. I get to escape from the things that I don't want to do. And it's liberating.

Before Dad's news i was looking on how to spend my 36th. Somewhere far or something new, surfing or ice skating, something exhilarating. This time, I don't think I want to celebrate at all. Not that I'm not grateful but I just feel that it's not right. I'll just have a quiet time. I don't know.

The Lucky One

It was one of those strange days that I wanted to go to the office not because I wanted to work but because I wanted to search this really amazing OST of The Lucky One. Unlucky for me that typhoon Maring is currently lambasting the metro. Lucky for me that I got my ost and it uplifts my mood right now. A blessing to not experience flooding anywhere near where I was supposed to board or disembark. Weird. And as well as the fact that I can walk on my way home if need be which is highly unlikely.


I've been reading Nicholas Sparks for quite alot now. I started with the Notebook and A Walk to Remember. But this Lucky One is kind of tailor-fit for me. Single mom. Little boy. Small town. Nice. I love the setting. The film I saw last night was totally faithful to the book. I can actually see myself in North Carolina. Breathable living spaces. Sleepy towns, relaxed atmosphere, close to nature. Ahh. give to me.

Zac Efron was a revelation. Of course High School Musical almost typecasted him to be this cutie. But who would have thought he could be a hottie on this one? There's so much depth in his eyes. I could drown in them. Kill me while I swoon. Perfect casting. Beth, Ben and of course, Gwyneth's mom as Nana. I didn't cry. I just sighed. This soul sigh that goes deep down to the core of my being. How I wanted to be Beth. I still know God will give my Logan. It will just take time. Like all good things. Amen.

I saw Mama dancing on video today care of Ate. I miss her voice. I miss everything. I was doing G's bday video yesterday and so many memories came over me. Life is but a moment. 

Hundred Islands Revisited

It was one of those back-breaking, tremendously cold bus road trips that will be forever cherished just because of the experience. It was good and bad and sorry I forgot my jacket or deliberately didn't bring hence, suffering for 12 hours due to the unrelenting AC. But no matter. There was wifi and just forward motion lulls me to happy sleep.

I couldn't get enough of Hundred Islands. In 2009, we just had a half day tour, just a quick island hop with Rye and Jundee's family and that was it. It's always teasing me. Then this year, just on the last day of summer, I got to go again on an almost full day tour with just a little less than half hour swim. But then it was glorious and I snorkeled perfectly, without ingesting water. The ocean was emerald green and calm.

God's perfect creation was in full display. The bats showed off, the ducks flew and oh, the most awesome sea creature, a dolphin swam before us. I was shrieking instead of taking a photo. Dolphins are not supposed to be between islands, they should be in open sea. It could be injured, I hope not. I cannot believe how it is possible to live in another world out there. All quiet, all is well. No chaos at all.

I wish the bamboo sharks thrive where they got released. It was such a cool day to do good, to actually bring something back to nature.

It's June already. Six months to Christmas!

what happened

It's been 2 months since my last post. What~?! life happened. Well, I've been online for the most part of the week except Sunday and yet I couldn't find the words or time to write to you. Shame on me. Shame. Shame. I've been debating if I should share my blog or even a create a new one for all the world to see but then I realized, no. I value my privacy so much in this such selfie world that I couldn't bear the thought that somebody in the outer online space can actually read my mind. So no. Let's be private and be cool. I miss my livejournal. Goodbye multiply.

There's not much to post except that I went to Pampanga and got my android phone Sam. With the elusive one, it's still the same old thing with some fine moments but still nothing very earth shattering. Ugh. Pain.

Rye is as witty as ever. All the more so now. He uses big words now thanks to cartoon network. He's going to be 8 in 2 weeks. Eight. How is that possible...Time is wickedly fast these days. I see Rovik and she's adorable and I still think I want one of those but you know do I really need to go through it again...hehe.

I've been thankful but sometimes been grumbling so I need to ask for a change of heart. This plateau moment is a blessed thing to have and I embraced it with all my being. We're all fine, no one sick or in a rut or crazy. Everything is moving along great. Maybe I need patience like a cloth. I have like just a teeny tiny hanky of it.

It would be nice to sing again on a regular basis. I don't know. Singing in choir has been such a good breather for me once a week if I get to be on time for the mass communion on thursdays. No more overtime except tonight. My stomach is really mad now.

My food intake has been crazy the past 2 days so I atone by just having veggies and rice for lunch but come dinner, I eat like a horse. I exercise like a madman in the morning. My am ritual feels so good. everyday. Exercise, breakfast, mass, walk to work. Repeat. No one messes with my mornings. It's all mine. Oh but early today, I cooked breakfast for Rye so that was good. Garlic scent on my fingers.

Regarding the elusive one, could it be boredom, or I don't quite know how to pin it exactly.

forgetting february

Technically I'm on a fast. From this person that  I truly want. Huhu.

December is Bliss

Recent turn of events could only be planned by God. I don't deserve any of it but everyday has been drenched with grace overwhelming. I could never hug my siblings enough or my pamangkins as well. It's like racing against time.

How do you even begin to describe November to December 2012? I can't. There's just so many memories created with family and friends. My heart is full and continues to overflow. I still have to take it all in. I haven't started. Maybe after everyone has gone home and my birthday has passed. Maybe we'll make good ones again for 2013. Cheers Lord. You've been awesome. Tell me again and again how much You love me. I'm spoiled rotten. Lazy as a fat cat. Garfield peg.

Today I woke up to the sound of my sister's voice. It's comforting. I love listening to my family's voice, laugh, snort... :)

Mama @ 75

Last night I felt like Kim Chiu, tears flowing like a river watching this Kate Hudson flick "A Little Bit of Heaven" with Kathy Bates. It was inspiring how to deal with death like that. Bring back the FUN in funeral. That incredible sensation of feeling alive when your eyes look into mine. Aww sappy crap. 

Mama is 75 today. I miss her so much my heart still bleeds. 

Tonyo thanked me on his bday greeting. Lynetterski. Cute. 

2012 Highlights

In order of happenings: 

 

My bday food trip with Mavic & Thelms

- we went to Rubs BBQ in Kapitolyo, Pasig and just stayed here for the whole afternoon with the kids and then Starbucks Shang. Seeing Mavic after 6 years was soo cool. 

Daddy Dad arrival after 2 years

- we went to Manaoag, Baguio and Laguna. we gave a surprise bday party for him at TMM and reunion with Belair peeps. It was so much fun! Seeing Dad hang out in Belair garage is one of my best images for this year. 

Riley top 3 honors

- changed school but he got better ranking! thank You God for this fine piece of a child, mine!

Daily Mass commitment

- this wasn't planned but You planned it for me to go to my favorite church in the world every single day which is my lifeline to the world's insanity

Ideal weight achieved

- thanks to regular exercise and food intake consciousness, i was able to trim down to my ideal weight. and i feel good! 

TV Commercial extra

- never have I realized that this remote dream will come true in really amazing circumstance. First of all, I wasn't supposed to be in it, second is i got to be with my crushie! Weeh. Super effortless acting. 

Bgy LA arrival after 6 years

- my sister is my Christmas. She's the reason why I'm a good person. so after 6 years, I just wanted to be with her that I sometimes forgot about Rye. I just go directly to her before and after work. There are so many times to be with her and just talk, laugh and eat!

Bgy NZ arrival after 2 years

- Kuya Bong is my big guy! He's amazing and I've missed him so much. Bear hug everytime. For someone who took care of me, I will be forever Kuya's girl.

G & Rap Epic Wedding

- the sun was shining, people were more beautiful, food was great, everything fell into place to this fave couple of mine. Love love love! From Europe to Manila

Skyfall

- Bond. James Bond. It took me a whole year and a few months to be with someone I truly like to get to know better. And so far, it has been beyond expectation. Still praying for God's will. 

Disney Xmas Party as Princess Jasmine

- first i got to sing again and perform like in a musical with Lea's cartoon character. next i've been chosen as female star of the night. how awesome is that? and my family saw me coz they're booked at Hotel h2o. 

Xmas Eve/Advance Bday Kuya Surprise 

- my family pulled a fast one on me, and I was slow to see it. but I felt so loved, appreciated and cared for. everyone knew it except me..well Rye and Dad. haha. Kuya sang Here There and Everywhere with a banner saying "Yari Ka!" and took me about 3 minutes for the surprise to sink in.. I thought he already left a day before. And I told everyone to say bye to him over the phone coz true to tradition, I don't ever send off people to the airport. I just hated airport goodbyes. It's too cheesy and my eyes go heavy and cry (haha). 

Just a little more weeks

I'm counting the days to everyone's arrival and it's insane! I'm super excited ;) Aside from the fact that a wish came true. Yeah, God You're awesome!

October Freak

They say your child is a better, more improved version of you. It's absolutely true. Rye at seven is more outspoken, witty and smart than I was at that age. Bar none. Hey I miss bar none. I'm hungry. Hehe. You know how you meet one person for just that brief moment and you are changed forever? Last night Jen and I met this insanely funny and wise cab driver going to Greenbelt for Pelicula Spanish Film Fest. He gives unsolicited advice and the cutest thing was that he butts in at exactly the right time. The film was great,it's sibling rivalry/revelry at its best. And we had Italian food. A Thursday that felt more like a Friday. Some people you open up to, without reservations. Thank God for friends like her. I felt bad about my hair recently up until I saw Abby Asistio's docu last Sunday, who had a hair deficiency called alopecia. Now I love my hair! Sometimes you just have to be aware of what you have and instant gratification. There was a 50% reunion of Smokey Mountain at Net 25. Jeffrey Hidalgo and Geneva Cruz. I grew up with them. And when they sang their hits, I am at once 13 again. It felt so good. The mind doesn't grow old. When life was about first crush and music. I also saw "Top Gun". So nice. Back in the day when I love tom. now not so much. Landmarks went to Acuzar, the one with all these reconstructed ancestral houses. My guiding principle is Philippians 4:8, think of all that is noble, pure, true, admirable right now. I'm going to a funk today but it's great. I slept so much this weekend. Rye had colds and slight fever. But he's ok now. I had nachos for merienda and dinner. the best food for the soul. and the tummy.

SeptemBER is here

The Ber months have begun, which means Christmas is near, G's wedding is coming soon and I'm gonna see them again. yey! no more orphan me for a little over a month. I felt Mama's physical loss more this year than in the past. Maybe it's because she's been generous in my dreams and even with Rye's. Or maybe I'm turning out like her. I recently read a book that says you turn into your parents as you become one and as you get older. No matter if you like it or not. I do like it. I wish I was more maternal than normal. There are days when I feel short of it. I miss my friends. Last weekend I spent most of it with my BFFs, just catching up and just listening. Mix laughter is the best thing in the world. And chocolate. And bagnet. Haha. We saw I Doobidoo Bidoo. I've always known APO. I never knew how, but it was just always on the radio, on cassette, on my brothers' playlist like Beatles. So naturally I've grown to love the songs and memorized its lyrics. It was a great musical film. I enjoyed it especially Uge. I haven't really seen Kimidora. Rye is surrounded with maps and his 2 globes. We've had discussions over Russia and Africa. I think he's gonna be in places I would never be. And that is a good thing.

Shrink Wanna Be

It's such an honor for people to open up their hearts to me. I'm astounded when they reach out and pour out their problems, thinking out loud with me and just sharing a silence that brings comfort and sense of being there. I think God gave me a listening ear, more than the normal hearing range. Maybe because I don't talk all the time and I just absorb a lot of stuff and people trust me. Wow. Amazing. Another great blessing is that I seem to go to the Feast with my friends, now getting to be a regular thing. Rye is used to it already, going to Mass and the prayer meeting after. Like what Ma used to do before with me. Last Saturday I met with Thea and saw some former office people in Legend during the travel mart. Reunions however short are always a great time. It's looking back, moving forward and just being who you are right now. August was tough due to the rains that ravaged the country. Life was not normal for about a week with all the flooding, no classes and just being safe. It was letting God do His mercies for the havoc people did to nature. Pity us all. We had a great time touring Intramuros with Rye, Mai and Amy last weekend. It was spontaneous, cheap and oozing with fun! The thing I love about living now is that God calls the shots. No money, no problem. No worries, He made everything! Just surrender. Everything will be alright. And truly His provisions are more than enough. Thelma and I are going to Bacolod - next year! For only P400 roundtrip Piso fare via Cebpac. It's such a thrill!

July Holiday

July highlight was a surprise Boracay trip for our group. Subic didn't happen but God had something better mapped out for us. My Bora 2 was definitely an entirely new experience altogether. There was nightlife, 2 nights of dancing and getting tipsy. Tamang amats lang. Massage on the beach. Touristy treatment from the dock to a bus transfer to buffet dinner. But of course, Jonah's shake is something I'd go back to over and over, mango rhum it was since my first love melon is out of season. Boracay in July is not crowded, very idyllic and never boring. Unlike last year when the frenzy is very much felt. It was my first time to see the fire dancers. Awesome. John Puruntong aka Dolphy passed away. He was part of my childhood as a tv nanny and John and Marsha was some unforgettable family bonding time. Today is our Sportsfest. I've dedicated much time for the cheerdance portion. Yihaa! Let's do this! I've always wanted to dance. Rye has been amazing in school. He loves his new environment and he prays, knows alot of spiritual stuff now. We were discussing the Holy Spirit a few nights ago. Thank you Lord.

I'm into parks, open spaces and nature. As I grow older, I prefer these getaways instead of malls (gasp haha). Last Saturday, we took a surprise trip to Rizal park. Surprised because it was only that day I planned it and because we had no itinerary at all. Wanted to go to the Planetarium but Sash was with us so it has to be a dog friendly place. Sash was mayabang, she sashayed without a leash and she didn't wander away from us. So cute, so many people wanted to take pix of her even foreigners. We had a picnic at the Chinese Garden, strolled near the Rizal monument. We gazed at the lighted dancing fountains and finally, saw Bayaning Third World in the open air cinema. It was extra special since the film was about Rizal and it was written by Sir Doy Del Mundo. Also, Rye watched the film and whined just a few times. It was weird watching the film about Rizal when the location where he died was just steps away from us. I got goosebumps. There are some new things I learned from the film, about the retraction issue, the Josephine Bracken issue with the female siblings and that he was estranged with brother Paciano during the last days of his life. It was a sad thing because it was he who paid for Rizal's education. That Trining died poor. Bitin for him coz the larger than life Phil map can't be seen anymore since it's dark already and he wanted to go back to see it. It was a great unplanned day. So many more of these would be nice and totally worth it. I want to happily plan our unplanned getaways. Nyeeh. Photos to follow. I'm excited for Rye to visit museums, edifices and other historical places. I want him to be proud of his heritage, of being Pinoy, of knowing his identity. We had NHI markers to celebrate our afternoon of bliss. Yihee! Thank You God.

Shark Tale

I actually held a shark. Well, a baby bamboo shark but still a shark for all intents and purposes. It was surreal. It's like an out of this world moment, how many people can say they were able to feel the rough skin of an underwater predator? Cool. My extreme animal adventure is happening. Haha. Going to Calatagan has been something I've always wanted to do but never had the chance until last weekend. It was work and some leisure. It was walking on seagrass, meeting some cute sea urchins which looked like live rambutans and of course, my favorite starfishies! It was gazing at the starlit moonlit sky and embracing the sea breeze. I missed it soo much. And likewise. Batangas is absolutely beautiful, lots of spacious land and nature. The 4 hour travel time ain't so bad with that kind of view. The bamboo shark release activity was historical, honored to be part of it. The first ever in the country. It was truly inspiring and love for marine life, for the environment is something so inherent in me. This is truly a calling, a mission, not just a day job. Thank You God. I'm still reeling from the experience. Someday it would be great to bring Rye with me in these activities. I could feel the pride in my voice when I say "your mom got to touch a shark". And I could see his incredulous expression, those huge eyes... Ahh, it would be soo much fun to share this tale.

7th Happy

Rye is seven. Seven is my favorite number. He just turned seven 4 days ago. I can't believe it. God is awesome! May is just dumbfounding. We changed location again. Manila is so welcoming to me, embraced me with much fervor. I have a new happy place that is Paco Park. I spent Mother's Day with bestfriend Thelmsky and the kids. Weekend upon weekend of great times. Rye's birthday was a swim party. I had my first ever underwater helmet dive - Aquanaut Voyage and it was amazing! I'm super excited for this weekend. First, it will be my first time in Calatagan which I've been googling last month as possible birthday getaway for Rye. Next is that I'll take part in the first ever baby shark release. Such a cool, out of this world moment. And of course, the best reason is that I will hit the beach after a year. Amidst everything, I got an awesome haircut, bangs! I haven't had bangs in ages. I'm mulling over having a public blog, like in the office what I do there blog, since digital social media is the way I'm going so might as well. But it's still on my mind. Because I missed worship at the office before, God granted me a really nice trade-off which is going to Mass everyday. I passed by Mama Guia shrine everyday and it makes me soo kind. I mean how could you be really cranky when you go to church first thing in the morning...it lessens my foul mood of waking up :) New, new, new. All or naught.

And Then There Were Two

Two meaning just two cousins - Rye and Gab in Manila. Two meaning two left again for abroad. In and out. Someone said airports are the happiest and the saddest place on earth. I definitely agree, so call me a fair-weather friend, family member. Don't make me send you off. I hate it. Hate the feeling of being left behind.

I'm happy that everyone is where they should be at right now. My family thrives in 4 corners of the globe. It's actually amazing. God's blessings in heaps. Being online has never felt more important until now. Skype Christmas. FB party. Twitter hellos.

I'm sad because there's still nothing like hugging or laughing together or experiencing stuff. Virtual banter is not so much fun.

Summer is here! I still don't know what to do. Dad is still here. Yipee.

What's my next project? I think I know but I'm still in denial. Sheesh.

I like to live day by day. It's so peaceful and I feel so grateful for being alive. Routine is now my friend. After eluding it for the most part of my life, now I'm finally embracing it.

I'm anti-social but I'm handling the social sites, used to interact with guests. That's so weird. But it's me. Ha. I'm asking God why is that? Sometimes i just really want to be left alone.

2012 has began

I welcomed the New Year with fireworks from all corners of the sky up on the roof. It was a beautiful sight! After that, I got drunk over 3 Tanduay Ice and fell asleep. Only to awaken and passed out twice. Not a good feeling. Rhum is not for me. Make that no alcohol for me anytime soon.

My birthday was a 3 day spectacle, with all my favorite dishes shared with the most important people. At work, my favorite lumpia from Mealstop. At Rub Ribs, with to die for babyback ribs and side dishes with Mavic, Thelma, Mina and Rye. Nightcap at Starbucks. Great gifts too! Sunday spent with family at ATC over Shakey's Pizza. I think I gained over a thousand pounds that weekend and I'm trying to lose it now.

Missing my former boss...i really hate goodbyes. It's such a shite experience. But it's part of life. And life goes on whether we like it or not.

Daddy is coming! Such wonderful news after I've accepted that he's probably just coming home by Dec. along with everyone else. So psyched to be with him after two years.

I haven't traveled in awhile. My feet are now itching to step on the bus, anywhere but here mode all over again. But I still have alot of bills to pay and money to save. God is good.

I haven't finished this Brad Pitt film. It's so good, I'm scared of the ending.

I want to write more, but I just don't have the luxury of time. I like that I can now allocate time to workout or just really dance in abandon and sweat it out. Any excuse to burn all I eat. To be healthy and to feel light. and to wear the clothes I love. So far, so good.

My son is almost done with grade one. What?! Soo fast. He thinks he needs an Iphone. really a chip off the old block huh. sssh.

Oh, and my heart is really cute right now. back to highschool thumps but i never had a highschool sweetheart to begin with. so thats not right.